Cookies are NOT a sometimes food (1220 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.78 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington (View user info) at 2005-04-11 12:07:19 EDT
Apparently, Cookie Monster is going to be cutting down on his favourite food "as part of an anti-obesity drive" on Sesame Street. No shit:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4432415.stm
Part of me thinks that, yes, kids are fat these days and we need to encourage a more healthy lifestyle. But come on! Less cookies for Cookie Monster?
Sesame Street has always been a progressive show. They promoted tolerance, had characters with different racial backrounds before many maintstream television shows and even had a same-sex couple living together (Don't tell me they weren't gay. Ernie was the catcher)
So it follow that they should be on the forefront of the child obesity problem. But there are other ways. Have Grover throw his Playstation in the garbage and tell everyone he's training for a marathon. Have the little kids mock Big Bird for having a Big Ass, so that the yellow loser decises to finally stop eating Mr. Hooper out of business and start using those wings for something other than holding a fork. Have The Count make the kids do pushups when they count to ten.
But for fucks sake, don't mess with Cookie Monster. This is the puppet who once said he would eat the moon if it were a cookie. The moon! His addiction is so strong that he was willing to fuck with the the ocean's tides to get a fix. Use him for anti-drug and addiction messages, not anti-obesity. In fact, telling kids that cookies are a "sometimes" food is likle telling them that heroin is a "sometimes" drug. Young viewers might get in better shape, but they'll be running around trying to score smack. They'll be thin alriught... thin like a crack whore! These Sesame Street motherfuckers are now going to contribute to the drug problem in America.
All because of some goddamn cookies. What is the world coming to?
User Reviews
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-04-15 18:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found Rand through the linear notes of 2112. Most people flamed me because Zeppelin didn't have Rand on their minds, even though I know this and stated that I know this. That is, especially seeing as Robert Plant is a Christian.
Submitted by TheHater (user info) at 2005-04-15 17:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus christ. do you two want a fucking room or something?
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-04-15 17:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-04-15 16:51:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheHater (user info) at 2005-04-15 16:44:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
star wars is for fags.
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So I take it you're a fan?
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HAHAHAHA! A tip of the hat to you, sir. That was hysterical.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-04-12 05:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
COOOOOOKIES!!
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-12 05:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:25:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
What next? Oscar the grouch on paxil?
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Good point.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-04-12 04:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! You have anti-obesity drives, we have a government forum on how to kill our HIV-positive muppet...
What a world.
How do you kill a muppet with AIDS?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62515
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-04-11 20:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-11 17:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Grover" was interviewed on Triple J a few weeks back. Transcript of part of the conversation:
Craig(host): So tell us the story about Ernie and Bert, Grover. What's the deal with them?
Grover: They are very, very good friends.
Craig: They're not... anything more than that?
Grover: No! What are you talking about?
Chris(host): They share a bed, Grover.
Grover: I don't know what you mean! They are just very good friends.
Craig: Okay then, let's talk about Elmo. He's become very popular lately, hasn't he?
Grover: Oh, don't talk to me about Elmo! God, that guy's a FRUIT!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-11 15:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think everyone below me made a good point.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-04-11 14:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I picture Cookie Monster going through withdrawels (sp?), getting all shaky with the sweats. It might make for some funny muppetry.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-04-11 14:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucks sake
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-11 13:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:44:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:33:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
I always wanted to jack myself off while wearing one of those cookie monster hand puppets....
Is that weird ?
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No, it's not wierd, but not that satisfying either. The puppet's tongue is actually made of a rather scratchy material that can do some real damage if you go too fast.
So I'm told.
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You're right. I used to have one of those puppets when I was a kid. His tongue is felt and all scratchy.
And, I really liked this post. This obesity shit is getting out of hand.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-11 13:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the best thing I've read all day.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-11 13:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:33:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
The level of phony-baloney political correctness in this country (America) sickens me.
If you're letting Sesame Street parent your kids, you're got bigger problems than obesity looming in the not-distant future.
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what she said.
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:33:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
I always wanted to jack myself off while wearing one of those cookie monster hand puppets....
Is that weird ?
----------------------
No, it's not wierd, but not that satisfying either. The puppet's tongue is actually made of a rather scratchy material that can do some real damage if you go too fast.
So I'm told.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids who watch Sesame Street should be too young to worry about obesity anyway. How old is the average viewer. 4? 5?
Kids don't need that much pressure...
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I always wanted to jack myself off while wearing one of those cookie monster hand puppets....
Is that weird ?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The level of phony-baloney political correctness in this country (America) sickens me.
If you're letting Sesame Street parent your kids, you're got bigger problems than obesity looming in the not-distant future.
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah cookies!!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
T is for Tofu........
Me want Tofu.......
munch munch munch munch....squish
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude! WTF!!!
Ernie was TOTALLY the pitcher!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What next? Oscar the grouch on paxil?
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I heard that the real Sesame Street is in Amsterdam. Is taht teh rtuth?!?! LOLZORZ x 40 = HAHAHAHAHHAAHA.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What's his feelings on Cheez-Its?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For some reason I don't think this is yours, but it probably is and it deserves a +2.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:12:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The bastards said I couldn't eat spaghetti-ohs for breakfast, either!
Submitted by SkinDiver (user info) at 2005-04-11 12:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice