A Strip Oddysee 2001 (1757 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -0.44 on 64 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maximus Padus (View user info) at 2005-04-12 10:52:51 EDT
Earlier this week, TheSunGod posted a story about his first time to a strip club. Oddysee 2001 was that strip club. I will now tell my story about my first time going to that same strip club.
Me and my buddies decided to venture to the strip club to celebrate our birthdays. You see, a lot of my friends birthdays are in the month of March. Most of them are Pisces, while I'm an Aries, which makes me cooler by default. We wanted to see a new club, something different. We chose Oddysee 2001. Seeing as how none of us are of legal age to drink, we decided to get crunk beforehand at my friend's house. We all solo'd our own blunts, downed some alcohol, and when 11:30-12 came around we decided it was time.
We filled up 2 cars with about 5 guys, and 4 girls. We swerved across the bridge in anticipation for well-oiled titties and open-faced roast beef sandwiches. We arrived at Oddysee with a 20 dollar cover charge. They charge underage patrons a 20 dollar cover to make up for lost alcohol sales. Bitches. As soon as we got in, we sat near the stage, and were sipping on a couple beers that we all smuggled in. My friend Neil spilled a beer all over the stage, because he was so drunk from earlier. A waitress came by, looked at the bottle that they DON'T serve there, and cleaned that shit up.
For an hour or 2, we just fed the girls singles on the stage, looking for the perfect lapdance. My friend Neil disappeared AFTER he had a lapdance, so I was worried about him. After countless girls approaching me, I decided on my lapdance, but I made a mistake. I picked the Czech girl. She had a hot ass body, a face you can't complain about, but she would not shut the fuck up about 3 songs for 60. She walked me over to the ATM, where I withdrawed my money, followed by an 8 dollar service charge. She sat me down in the mirrored booth. While her titties were in my mouth she was asking about 3 for 60, and I mumbled "mnyeahnksuckthatjag-onsdnt". She was doing all the right moves, but you can't hustle a hustler, baby. No way.
When it was around 3 a.m., I was getting tired of open-faced roast beef sandwiches, and the whole swanky smell of the club. I was also tired of paying for 4 dollar waters for the drink minimum, and I was tired of tipping the stupid bitch who MAKES you buy it. It was time to go. We rallied up and headed out...but where was Neil....?
We walked out to the parking lot and all stood next to the cars for roll call. I went behind some car next to the wall to take a piss, and I tripped over Neil! He was laying up against the wall holding his stomach, while trying to purge something out of his mouth. I thought he had gotten stabbed or something, but he was just a pussy. We all belittled him, pointing and laughing. Eventually, we loaded him into the trunk and headed back to St. Pete for a SHOWER and some sleep.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-05-24 16:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heard you was tryin to get ahold of me. email me at bigsubjo.at.msn.com. (i'm the other st pete guy here on uber) we should chill out and burn one sometime.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-13 08:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-04-13 06:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He was probably trying to wrench a pube from his throat after he refused to pay the chick who gave him the dance, and she suffocated him on her sweaty dew flaps.
Submitted by Eros (user info) at 2005-04-13 02:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
heh, reminds me of Homer golfing
"Use an open-faced club, man. A sand wedge"
"Mmmm, open-faced club sandwich"
what's that? Oh yes, your post. ... yea, never post under the influence of retardation
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-04-13 02:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Philbert the frog (user info) at 2005-04-12 19:25:33 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by GiJoe (user info) at 2005-04-12 19:25:33 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-12 19:25:33 (#)
Ranking: -1
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Submitted by Bart (user info) at 2005-04-12 19:25:33 (#)
Ranking: -1
Why is this most heated?
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Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-12 19:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Why is this most heated?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-12 18:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-04-12 17:20:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
"You see, a lot of my friends birthdays are in the month of March. Most of them are Pisces, while I'm an Aries, which makes me cooler by default."
I nominate this for gayest bit ever posted.
____
well, there has been more ghey, but this is Top Ten material, for sure...
Submitted by urbaneruralite (user info) at 2005-04-12 17:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"You see, a lot of my friends birthdays are in the month of March. Most of them are Pisces, while I'm an Aries, which makes me cooler by default."
I nominate this for gayest bit ever posted.
2001 is a shithole, btw.
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-04-12 14:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here it is, the aforementioned second +2. blah blah blah hometown blah blah st pete blah strippers.
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-04-12 14:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry i'm late, i was busy trying out the whole "life away from the computer" thing. i accidentally had sex with this really hot chick, and i got distracted for a while.
auto +2 for mentioning my name, and another soon to follow for being from the 'burg. think i might just give you auto +2 for life on any of your posts that i read, especially if they concern our humble hometown.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!!
I was just trying to keep it alive my friend.
<packs up tent and storms away in a huff>
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's kind of a last resort comeback, isn't it, shlong? I hope things didn't have to get this way, but what can you do. Lets check out this inequality.
Dipshit + blunts + kickass ± more kickass > fat harlot + golf + losing money + rancid
Sounds about right...no need for your input. Thanks.
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Either my awesome writing or YOU, WTH scares away my audience...
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We walked out to the parking lot and all stood next to the cars for roll call. I went behind some car next to the wall to take a piss, and I tripped over Neil! He was laying up against the wall holding his stomach, while trying to purge something out of his mouth. I thought he had gotten stabbed or something, but he was just a pussy. We all belittled him, pointing and laughing. Eventually, we loaded him into the trunk and headed back to St. Pete for a SHOWER and some sleep
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When it was around 3 a.m., I was getting tired of open-faced roast beef sandwiches, and the whole swanky smell of the club. I was also tired of paying for 4 dollar waters for the drink minimum, and I was tired of tipping the stupid bitch who MAKES you buy it. It was time to go. We rallied up and headed out...but where was Neil....?
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For an hour or 2, we just fed the girls singles on the stage, looking for the perfect lapdance. My friend Neil disappeared AFTER he had a lapdance, so I was worried about him. After countless girls approaching me, I decided on my lapdance, but I made a mistake. I picked the Czech girl. She had a hot ass body, a face you can't complain about, but she would not shut the fuck up about 3 songs for 60. She walked me over to the ATM, where I withdrawed my money, followed by an 8 dollar service charge. She sat me down in the mirrored booth. While her titties were in my mouth she was asking about 3 for 60, and I mumbled "mnyeahnksuckthatjag-onsdnt". She was doing all the right moves, but you can't hustle a hustler, baby. No way.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We filled up 2 cars with about 5 guys, and 4 girls. We swerved across the bridge in anticipation for well-oiled titties and open-faced roast beef sandwiches. We arrived at Oddysee with a 20 dollar cover charge. They charge underage patrons a 20 dollar cover to make up for lost alcohol sales. Bitches. As soon as we got in, we sat near the stage, and were sipping on a couple beers that we all smuggled in. My friend Neil spilled a beer all over the stage, because he was so drunk from earlier. A waitress came by, looked at the bottle that they DON'T serve there, and cleaned that shit up
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Me and my buddies decided to venture to the strip club to celebrate our birthdays. You see, a lot of my friends birthdays are in the month of March. Most of them are Pisces, while I'm an Aries, which makes me cooler by default. We wanted to see a new club, something different. We chose Oddysee 2001. Seeing as how none of us are of legal age to drink, we decided to get crunk beforehand at my friend's house. We all solo'd our own blunts, downed some alcohol, and when 11:30-12 came around we decided it was time.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 13:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Earlier this week, TheSunGod posted a story about his first time to a strip club. Oddysee 2001 was that strip club. I will now tell my story about my first time going to that same strip club.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sleepy
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a motherfucker.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
itches like
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my ass
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
side of
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the left
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
right now
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fruit
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WITH
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:32:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cheese
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cottage
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
like
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He aint here, he's off smokin a crunk, or whatever the hell kids say nowadays.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Trust me, Karl Malden...you will NEVER, in your entire gansta, blunt-smokin' life be with a woman as hot as Mrs. Shlongy.
It's kind of amazing that I get to bang her on an almost regular basis.
So, smoke another blunt, gangsta, and go jerk off...again.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HA! When I said "turned on" I meant that I came to offer my two cents worth and all of sudden I became a target.
Get your mind out of the gutter you stupid fat fuck!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 12:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ewwwwwwww..... <shudders>
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:54:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice, I cut Spag some slack and he has me swallowing jizm in his next review....
That's gratitude for you... fucking Aussie bastards!
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Hey, I came to enjoy the festivities and I got turned on. I was in the process of writing that before you started sucking up to me anyway.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm off to luch myself... so Sfagnum, please continue tlaking to yourself for the next 15 minutes...
HEY!! ..... I SAID "TALKING" not TOUCHING... put that thing away.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice, I cut Spag some slack and he has me swallowing jizm in his next review....
That's gratitude for you... fucking Aussie bastards!
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and see what you can do about stirring up some shit on this post. I'll owe ya one for your next.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think shlongy left because the fries were up...
it's near lunch time and the BK he works at must be SLAMMIN....
*Ding fries are done, dipshit....Nurrrrrrrrrrr"
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:46:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Code 172.....the suspect has changed.
----------------
Hmmm, if you are offering me a gay experience, I'm not that way inclined.
I wonder if you would be able to point out exactly where on this post it BECAME heterosexual after you guys started off at home swallowing each other's cum?
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:51:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm goin to lunch. And after lunch I get to drive to my beloved st. Pete to pick up a package and then back to my hellhole in tampa. Not fun.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO... Spag shares in our shlongy loathing so by default he's OK....
"Dipshits,scotch,money,penis,dipshit,asskicking,golf...Nurrrrrrrrr"
Good ??
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:46:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Code 172.....the suspect has changed.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sure if we all chip in we can have this thing on most heated in no time!
I think Shlongy left when you made fun of the imaginary Mrs Shlongy.
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahahahaha nurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Hey dipshit, your nose is fucking huge. Stupid dipshit. Nurrrrrrrrrrrr
Haha I like the nurrrrrrrrr
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and a belly full of old, powdered, dusty semen adds about 150 pounds
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nice....!!
Where is the lipless wonder ? this would be much more fun if he was involved.
I'll take a stab at it in his absence .... "I'll kick your ass dipshit...Nurrrrrrrrrrrr!"
(how's that ?)
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Right, the combination of ski-jackets, digital cameras, and a belly full of old, powdered, dusty semen adds about 150 pounds.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Come on now Maximus, you KNOW it was the SKI JACKET that made her look like an oriental, pillsbury dough girl.
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
We're only 2 states away. That gives me BETTER chances of calling any local plumper mag and hearing Mrs. Shlongy's beautiful voice on the other line! When it comes down to the numbers, its roughly 95%.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This has potential for being funny.....
Shlongy vs Maximus ..
(sets up tent)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Smokin' blunts"...you must be one cool mofo, eh MaxiPad?
What a dipshit...You need a good slap or twelve. Although, I suppose if we were in the same state, I could pretty much swing my arm at random and I'd have a 50/50 chance of nicking you in the nose.
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Geriatrics was never this comedical. That old man can't put SHIT on me. Give me a rancid skully and a nasty bitch, then we'll talk.
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Twas a shit story
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, let me get this straight......
SHLONGY, is making fun of MAXIMUS's nose size ??
SHLONGY ??
The dudes got a nose like the wicked witch in the WIZARD OF OZ for christs sake...(and no lips)
Matter of fact, he could be a stunt double for that lady, except she was taller.
Oh the irony.
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Code 172, we have a blatant faggot loitering in a clearly hetero post. Approach with caution, he's a biter.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait! You "smoked some blunts"???
Stand back, Corky here IS the real deal! He's one cool and tough motherfucker.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm assuming that you went to watch the male strippers, right Durante?
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Well get used to it. That's the most sophisticated use of that word that you will ever see.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:07:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
"open faced roast beef sandwiches"
------------
What Jeanneee said.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-12 11:07:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"open faced roast beef sandwiches"
Submitted by HillBoyJr (user info) at 2005-04-12 10:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
stopped reading here "we decided to get crunk"