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Vigilantism: coming to a scuzz-hole near YOU (266 hits)

Category: General

no reviews (Rate this item) (V)
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Submitted by MrCoffee (View user info) at 2005-04-12 22:04:23 EDT


"Asshole of the beaches"
"Zit on the ass of the north shore"

These and many more have been used to describe the shit-hole suburb near us known as Dee Why.

There's a engineer at my work called Rainer, Rainer is German, lanky and fairly humourless. just by looks you wouldn't class him as any kind of threat. i'd pidgeonhole him as "dork".
He's one of those guys where wry comment or wisecrack goes sailing straight over his head, instead of laughing he cocks his head to the side & gives you that "ahh. I see" look.

Humourless,
Efficient,
Engineer.
German.

Rainer is new to Australia, & the poor bastard moved into a flat in Dee why. My Bus in the morning goes through Dee Why and he's usualy on it, but today he wasnt.
Then when i got to work, he wasn't in I asked where he was:
Dee why Police Station.

Rainer Just got in to work so I asked him what had happened. he had scrapes all over his hands & face yet for the first time i've seen, he had a big grin on his face.
Turns out Rainer was out jogging through Dee why at 6 this morning like he does every morning, when 2 leb\Persian\whatever homie fuckers were sprinting towards him. parachute pants -"voot voot"-ing at a mighty pace. FuBu jackets flailing in the wind. One was carrying a tin. as Rainer looked further behind the fuckers, there was an old Greek shopkeeper waiving & pointing at the escaping cunts. Rainer said :
"well, as I saw the boys running wiz ze tin, and the shopkeeper waiving and yelling- well I knew exactly vaht to do, so, I tackled zeh boy with zeh tin head on, und got him on zeh ground. See I was in ze army as a boy so I know how to "calm" angry fighting people. myself und ze shopkeeper dragged the kicking youth to ze shop, where we called the police. Ze kid tried to escape a few times, but only got 5 meters before I got him again... after zat his face didn't leave the floor coz I held it there ... See you have to use just za right amount of force but not so much that he can sue. We were going to tie him up but decided not because we could get sued. Ze cops arrived & I went in & gave a statement - Apparently zese kids had been doing it to all zeh local shops in the area early in the mornings, there was only about 10 dollars in the tin, but i feel it was a just casue. ahh, fun way to start the day eh?"

Ruthless,
Vigilante,
Efficient,
German.
Champ.


Be affraid of this guy:


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Look, Marge, I'm sorry I haven't been a better husband, I'm sorry
about the time I tried to make gravy in the bathtub, I'm sorry I used
your wedding dress to wax the car, and I'm sorry -- oh well, let's
just say I'm sorry for the whole marriage up to this point.

-- Homer Simpson
Marge on the Lam