I love you forever...just not now. (884 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.01 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lita <cpcreed2000.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-13 02:55:29 EDT
I am a bad person. I am hating myself right now.
I don't intend this to be some sort of blog, but really, as a sort of letter to no one, but to all. A kind of empty canvas that I want to fill up with my feelings because, hell, this is what Uber is about. If anyone is in this position or has been, I'd like to hear some sort of advice (or a bunch of -2 DIEs, whatever comes).
I have been finding myself in this position a whole damn lot in the past year or so.
I suppose I'll use an example from tonight. Why not? Submit my soul through the psuedo-anonymity of Uber.
Let me begin by saying that long distance relationships are terrible. Terrible. I don't even think I can scratch the surface of the horrendous nature of them in words. Not even with curse words. I think this is saying a whole damn lot.
I mean, look at Penelope. What the fuck is with this bitch? Waiting for years for Odysseus. YEARS. YEARS!! I mean, at least I get spring breaks and summers. This fucking woman waits YEARS without sex, without even phonecalls! I suppose I am no Penelope. That cunt.
Anyhows.
I am in one of the said problems.
I am in a relationship where I intend to marry this man. I love him. I plan on having his babies. Making him sandwhiches. Getting him his beer while he watches soccer. I plan on sharing my bed with him forever...Just not now.
He's my best friend. He is my partner in crime. We cause trouble, laugh, watch movies, finish each other's sentences, share, talk, sing...everything. I can't think of doing anything else with him other than marriage.
But I don't want to do that right now.
I'm not ready.
There is no real, rational reason as to why. I mean...I suppose there is. I am gonna be 20 this August. He is away at college more times than not. I'm also absolutely petrified of marriage and I don't think, in the end, I'm made of that kind of stuff.
I can't help but feel that I should be dating. You know, stuff a lot of other people are doing.
So I tried the open relationship thing. You know, the fluff described here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/32628
I thought it would be a flawless plan. We could both see other people and still be in a relationship and be happy. But it didn't work. It flopped. Really, really badly. I'm not wife material and it seems he is not open relationship material. Nizice. This is just grizeat.
So we drop that plan and now he is away and I can't help but feel, while he is gone, that I want to date around. I don't really want to sleep with other people...just see what it's like to like someone and go through those awkward moments. Try to meet other people. Have some fun. Be young, I guess.
Now I'm in this worse problem. I want to be with my boyfriend, but I want to see other people, too. A have your cake and eat it too situation.
I have asked other people what to do. I've asked friends what I should do and almost all of them say that I should see other people and feel myself out before I commit.
All right. But I can't shake the guilt and disgust inside of me. How can I really love him and still want to see other people? I don't know...but I do.
I love him. I want to marry him...just not now.
Just not now.
I don't want to break up with him. However, right now that's the only option for now...and I don't want to do that.
Well, here it is. 2:50 in the morning and I'm probably not getting any sleep. Anyhows, I'm just wondering what other people would say if they were in a situation.
So there.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-13 18:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If he gets hit by a bus, boy are you gonna feel bad
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-04-13 16:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow Pantameter, a little harsh?
"Let me begin by saying that long distance relationships are terrible. Terrible. I don't even think I can scratch the surface of the horrendous nature of them in words. Not even with curse words. I think this is saying a whole damn lot."
WhoLetYouIn: the above paragraph should be all you need to help you figure out what to do here. Let it go now or you will eventually become a prick of misery due to all the regret and 'what ifs'
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-04-13 14:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I got the full spectrum here. I got sympathy and I was called a disease infested whore. I love uber.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-04-13 12:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't know what love is. You said it yourself you want to see what else is out there, you just want the security blanket of your boyfriend so when you get shot down by better looking people you can go back to him.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#1 in the hood, G
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:11:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you really loved him, you would not be having this problem. I've been in a long distance relationship for a long time and there have been no problems at all. You know why? We really love each other. We aren't just hanging on to each other to make sure we have someone to marry after we fuck everything in sight.
Do him a favor. Dump him.
Make sure you always ask your partners to use a condom. You sound like an STD infested whore.
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-13 10:54:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this your first love? Even if it isn't, you need to step back from this relationship. Long distance sucks, and in the end, it doesn't usually work out. I might, and if you're "meant to be" something will bring you together. But don't hold your breath.
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-04-13 10:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-04-13 10:31:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:30:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
He's away, and if you cannot spend at least one weekend a month together, you're not having a relationship, you're having an internet romance / vacation fling.
___________________
Fuck you. Monty. Sincerely.
And to the twat that wrote this:
If you can't happily keep your legs closed while he's away, you're right; you're not ready. Let him move on and find someone that is.
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I love that word " Twat " It does not get said often enough.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-04-13 10:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:30:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
He's away, and if you cannot spend at least one weekend a month together, you're not having a relationship, you're having an internet romance / vacation fling.
___________________
Fuck you. Monty. Sincerely.
And to the twat that wrote this:
If you can't happily keep your legs closed while he's away, you're right; you're not ready. Let him move on and find someone that is.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-13 10:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-13 10:18:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
A woman not knowing what she wants?
This is fucking old news.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-13 10:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A woman not knowing what she wants?
This is fucking old news.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-13 09:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Try slitting your own throat with a razor, and see if he helps you stop the bleeding before you die.
That should do the trick.
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-04-13 09:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you think that at the age of 20 you are ready who decide who to marry, you're fucking wrong. This isn't the 1800's. Go to school, get a career and date/fuck/whatever as many guys as you can. I guaran-dam-tee you that you'll feel the same way (in love, ready to marry) at least 3 other times.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-13 09:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would recommend fucking me, and then the answers to your questions will probably become much clearer.
I'm free on Friday...how about Noonish?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-13 08:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I would say the only plausible solution would be to go out and suck alot of cock. Or hows about breaking that gang bang record. That will show him. Then again I really didnt read this to well. All I could make out was wah wah blog my pussy hurts.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-04-13 08:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
PS you're not a bad person. You're just 20.
This is normal behaviour - go find out about yourself... then think about finding out about someone else.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-04-13 07:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In the time honoured style of someone who can give advice without remembering that you're supposed to be sympathetic.
You don't want to be with him... but you haven't got the balls to end it.
Do yourself (and him) a favour and sort it out.
Either you DO want a relationship or you dont.
It seems like you're the one that cares least (and therefore has most power) so it's up to you...
And, think carefully now - you can't go pissing people round for the rest of their lives just because you're not able to sort your life out. If you end it, he might not be there when you decide you were being a dick. And, don't be too surprised if he hates your guts for a while and then gets on with life without you... you see it often enough - you think one of the couple will fall apart without the other, but in actual fact, that person just likes to love someone and finds replacing people fairly easy.
So... there you have it. I could've sugar coated it, but I didn't.
Submitted by etbeliever (user info) at 2005-04-13 07:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was in the same position a year ago and wound up breaking up with my first love. I still miss him but our relationship just wasn't enough for either of us in the end. I'm having a lot more fun now, it's not easy but you know what to do and you don't need other people's permission. Good luck - and I agree about the journal, I write one and it's really cathartic. x
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-04-13 07:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:00:32 (#)
Ranking: 1
Open relationships rawk.
That said, let me pass this sage advice along to you.
Love is not two people looking at each other, it's two people together looking in the same direction.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He's right you know. You've clearly got no problems in picking up men, sling this one and find another one. If you want to you can go back and find him 4 years later as a broken shell, scoop him up and wander down the aisle whith him.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-13 07:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I love you forever...just not now." Uh, doesn't this sentence contradict itself...and maybe smack a little bit of hypocrisy. Either you love him forever, and you're willing to work through whatever differences you have, blah blah blah wank wank wank...Or you want to see other people. If he was (cue dramatic music) The One (buh buh BAAAAH) then why would you want to see other people?
Basically, you're 20 - you're a confused little kid who doesn't know what she wants. Only what she doesn't want, and that's the guy you say you love. Why? Because "Open Relationship" is a code for "I want to sleep with other people."
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-04-13 07:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's my best friend. He is my partner in crime.
- - -
I've been you, as the guy, too many times. I've kept a journal since I was 19, wherein I talk to myself. It's cathartic but more important, I can share it with special people, and not only see how I've grown, but let them see how they've affected my growth. You should consider keeping a journal.
But most of all, you should share what you just posted with him. +++
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-04-13 07:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-04-13 06:46:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
I had a fiance' who wanted an "open relationship" while I was at war.She just failed to let me know.
It sounds like you are either a whore or someone who just likes stringing him along. Most probably both.
Do him a favor and never talk to him again.
============================
I figured I would be getting a lot more of ratings like these.
The thing is that I'm not stringing him along. It's complicated...but at surface level, I would probably be saying the same thing...
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-04-13 06:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I had a fiance' who wanted an "open relationship" while I was at war.She just failed to let me know.
It sounds like you are either a whore or someone who just likes stringing him along. Most probably both.
Do him a favor and never talk to him again.
Submitted by likeeatingglass (user info) at 2005-04-13 06:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im gonna be cheesey and say.... you just go along and be young and see what happens...if its meant to be its meant to be.... i think deep down you know what to do... hope it works out for you.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-13 04:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I really like banging hot young chicks on the rebound.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-04-13 04:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
boston cream pie is really good. shit, time for work
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-04-13 04:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have some pie, Val. Calm down.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-04-13 04:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
More gems from this post:
Nizice. This is just grizeat.
There is no real, rational reason as to why. I mean...I suppose there is. I am gonna be 20 this August.
I have asked other people what to do. I've asked friends what I should do and almost all of them say that I should see other people and feel myself out before I commit.
Well, here it is. 2:50 in the morning and I'm probably not getting any sleep.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-04-13 04:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You wasted a good minute of my life with the first 4 "paragraphs", where you tried to justify this post.
Honey, this is Uber. We're all mad here.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Let's just take it step by step. Ok?
Do me first and then we'll talk about you ^^
What?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That being said, lets do lunch. I might ask you for a blowjob, but I still expect you to laugh in my face when I do.
What?
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddammit, Monty. You are beyond awesome. Honestly. Seriously.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're 20. In 5 years you more than likely will not even recognize yourself, much less him. Give it time.
He's away, and if you cannot spend at least one weekend a month together, you're not having a relationship, you're having an internet romance / vacation fling.
You have to define the boundaries that will allow your morals to be satisfied but let you do what you want. Dump the fucking preconceptions of what dating is, and the expectations you have about what you should do on one.
If the problem is misgivings about "infidelity" then establish friendships with a few guys you can go out with, enjoy spending time with, and can flirt with, without fear of them taking you too seriously when you do.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, I have been there. Do what feels right for you. If you aren't ready, and want to see other people, then do it. You never know what you might be missing. You'll have regrets regardless so take a chance, because as much as you may love this guy, it doesn't sound like he's making you happy enough to stay. Good luck.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love is not two people looking at each other, it's two people together looking in the same direction.
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Break up with the guy, and if you still feel like marrying him in the future hope that he will take you back. Don't be in a relationship you don't want to be in for tyhe other persons sake.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
open relationships are about as real as faries and unicorns.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-13 03:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Open relationships rawk.
That said, let me pass this sage advice along to you.
Love is not two people looking at each other, it's two people together looking in the same direction.