emailwhore - "Southern Feminist" (733 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.27 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Butthead (View user info) at 2005-04-13 11:03:01 EDT
No idea who wrote this, and don't care. It tickled me.
Subject:
> DESIRE
> Damn, in that tube-top
> You make me almost forget
> You are my cousin
>
> BEAUTY
> Naked in repose
> Silvery silhouette girls
> Adorn my mudflaps
>
> REMORSE
> A painful sadness
> Can't fit big screen TV through
> Double-wide's front door
>
> DEPRIVED
> In WalMart toy aisle
> Wailing boy wants wrestling doll
> Mama whups his ass
>
> OPTIONS
> Unemployment's out.
> Hey, maybe I can get on
> Disability
>
> BLAZE
> Distant siren screams
> Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
> Gasoline again
>
> A NEW MOON
> Flashlights pierce darkness
> No nightcrawlers to be found
> Guess we'll gig some frogs
>
> EXUBERANCE
> Joyous, playful, bright
> Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
> Of old motor oil
>
> ALONE
> Seeking solitude
> Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
> Restraining order
>
> HATRED
> I curse the rainbow
> Emblazoned upon his hood
> God damn Jeff Gordon
>
> OFFERINGS
> Tonight we hunger
> Grandma sent grocery money
> To Jimmy Swaggert
>
> DRAMA
> Set the VCR
> Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
> At 9 O'Clock
>
> NO SIGNAL
> White noise, buzzing static
> Call Earl; satellite dish
> Needs new descrambler
>
> IMPOUNDED
> Sixty-five dollars
> And cyclone fence keeps me from
> My El Camino
>
> GATHERING
> In early morning mist
> Mama searches Circle K for
> Moon Pies and Red Man
>
> > ENIGMA
> >
> > Rusty Paradox
> > Half Camaro, half Trans-Am
> > Yet it does not run
> >
> > MYTHOLOGY
> >
> > In ancient legend
> > Once lived singing fish much like
> > Big Mouth Billy Bass
> >
> > SEDUCTION
> >
> > Impassioned lovers
> > Probing erotic limits
> > In Hardees drive thru
> >
> > CHOICES
> >
> > Jax, Falstaff, Lone Star?
> > I ponder cooler specials
> > Ahh, Pearl $1.99
> >
> > WINTER DANCE
> >
> > Whirling, spinning, free
> > S-10 skates playful circles
> > On parking lot ice
> >
> > IT HAPPENED AT STOP 'N' GO
> >
> > Burning agony
> > Dale got his rattail stuck in
> > Hot weenie roller
> >
> > CONDITIONS
> >
> > Mustang decal reads:
> > Attention! Ass, Grass or Gas
> > Nobody Rides Free
> >
> > IMPRISONED HEARTS
> >
> > Tammy excites Wayne
> > With edible panties at
> > Conjugal visit
> >
> > SPARK OF GENIUS
> >
> > Carl made backyard pool
> > From old pickup bedliner
> > Wisht I thought of that
> >
> > CUCKOLDED
> >
> > Her ultimatum:
> > You ain't spendin' my money
> > On no damn race car
>
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-07-26 16:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-06-07 16:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nothing but stolen material. Not worthy of a positive rating.
Submitted by turnbbw (user info) at 2005-04-13 23:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die. the south is better than you in so many ways.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-13 22:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-04-13 17:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
um, pardon me for asking, but where the fuck do you hang out where you see EMAIL convos composed entirely of haikus? www.japaneseexistentialist.com?
---------------------
Some sumbitch sent it to me, biotch.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-04-13 16:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-13 14:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:16:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
EMAIL AND AIM convos AUTO -2
Sorry Honkey
___
um, pardon me for asking, but where the fuck do you hang out where you see EMAIL convos composed entirely of haikus? www.japaneseexistentialist.com?
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
REVIEW
This got old after
the second redneck haiku
I have seen better.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE HAIKU YEAH
FUNNY POST MAKE ME LAUGH LOUD
PLUS TWO P I E
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't listen to the haters, this is funny.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i usually auto -2 these things.
and i would if i could stop laughing
Submitted by swing39 (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for dissing on Jeff Gordon
-1 because i hate haiku (blame public schools for that)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
These are funny. I especially like the rattail-in-the-weenie-roller one.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EMAIL AND AIM convos AUTO -2
Sorry Honkey
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-04-13 11:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have explained a little better first. I am a little slow. Otherwise not bad.