I Challenge Shlongy To A Rip Battle… Oh Wait.. No.. This is Better! (1766 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.18 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Professional Peon <prof_peon.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-14 11:38:35 EDT
Since I would in no way like to insinuate that I could go head to head with the Shlongster himself I propose a battle, that would not only be a challenge, but entertaining as well as a good form of exercise.
I hereby Challenge Shlongy to the first EVAR.....
Pussy-Eating Contest!!!
(I think I can take him ladies)
BTW if Shlongy does accept seats will be available at $29.99 a piece.
(No Minors Admitted)
User Reviews
Submitted by DrSeussman (user info) at 2005-11-01 16:47:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok been reading all your stuff since I found you today. Good shit, nice tits!
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-04-27 01:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:17:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:37:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you both sound like such experts, where are you going to get all of this pussy?
____________--
I volunteer my services.
What? I'm single now. It's been awhile.
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I for one am not surprised by this.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh, I am not late, get me a seat!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:37:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you both sound like such experts, where are you going to get all of this pussy?
____________--
I volunteer my services.
What? I'm single now. It's been awhile.
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Got milk?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I'm home from the tournament...I'm hammered...and this post still works.
i.e. still gives me a major erection.
Shlongy's fans rule the Earth.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:48:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Speaking of eating pussy........ http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Kitten_Huffing
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WTF!!! That was awesome!
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I should get in on this, ive taught myself to breath through my ears.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Speaking of eating pussy........ http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Kitten_Huffing
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:38:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
HA!!
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I think that Frap is jealous that my post was better then his.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA!!
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post reaks
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hadley - You forgot to mention how he makes mad money at his job... I mean Jo-bizzle?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:37:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
There are also things that need to be considered like bonus point for making her squirt, or licking the asshole. There is also the multiple orgasm bonus.
---------------------------------
I heard something about asshole licking and I came a-runnin'
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 13:59:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
If I keep putting my 2 cents in, I'll need another job....
I nominate MANICMOTHER to be part of the contest. See lush's comment.
_____
Only if MANIC has that really bored/stoned look on her face - that would make it XTRA HOT!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Starting to get a little cold....
The evening people need to show up soon. frap ought to have a fieldday with this. I can hear it now....
"I can eat pussy better than that pussy fag ass Schlongy. He's a little bitch and he lost the rip battle. That's a real battle. Me and my friends, we do these for fun. Not that I know. I always win so I fuck all their asses. That gay ass fucking Schlongy...." ad nauseum.
Oh, wait, I used capitalization, so it wouldn't quite be like that....
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL!!!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've seen ManicMother
I HOPE she volunteers!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 13:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I keep putting my 2 cents in, I'll need another job....
I nominate MANICMOTHER to be part of the contest. See lush's comment.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-04-14 13:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My type of contest.
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2005-04-14 13:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You could always ask for volunteers to be the "pussy" ;)
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 13:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's gonna be HOT HOT HOT!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 13:02:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rock the hizzy, yo!
I'm the king of the smooth zoom....
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 13:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:37:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you both sound like such experts, where are you going to get all of this pussy?
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Swingers club duh <giggle> Or we could just go rent a bus and hit a couple clubs, tell a little white lie like -"Girl come with me if you want to be on Girls gone wild"... Or guys gone wild for the prudish ones.
If Shlongy does not object then I'm all up for BobLobla setting up the points system
As for judging.. I figured the guys from American Idol could join Bart and a few random Uber users in the judging box. I want to hear Simon Cowell's comments about random pussy. Hadley will be in charge of videography.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel kinda warm.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:42:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
The ultimate battle will be when Shlongy violently forces his mouth on your dick and you frantically try to beat him off.
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WTF?? His mouth on MY dick???
Don't you have that backwards honey?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:43:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoo! That's hot.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The ultimate battle will be when Shlongy violently forces his mouth on your dick and you frantically try to beat him off.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you both sound like such experts, where are you going to get all of this pussy?
I also have questions about how an event like this will be judged, there are many numbers of ways to judge:
-loudest yelp
-quickest orgasm
-wetest pussy upon completion
-nastiest pussy eaten
-hairest pussy eaten
-quickest tounge lashing
-longest stretch with out a break
-most pussy eaten in an hour
There are also things that need to be considered like bonus point for making her squirt, or licking the asshole. There is also the multiple orgasm bonus.
I would like to volunteer myself as a judge for this illustrios event and if you decide to open the challenge to the public, I am IN.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:26:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is going to be one for the record books, I can already tell.
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I've got 3 seats booked Jeanneee, YOU can sit next to ME if you want....(*wink* *wink*)
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it getting warm in here...? hehe
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-14 12:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is going to be one for the record books, I can already tell.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lions and Tigers and Bears
ubmitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:49:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
oh my!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh my!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know some fags around here who won't be attending..... They are allergic to pussy or something like that....
Can I book three seats, I want to make sure there is a one seat buffer on either side so I don't get infected with some contagious UBERdisease.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be in our Hospitality Tent on 18...licking my eyebrows.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Count me in!
Did I mention that I once went down on some broad for 31 minutes straight, only coming up for air three times? No? That's strange.
But I have to run off to the Golf Tournament now.
I'll check in later when I'm good and hammered.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm related to Gene Simmons, so I'm not allowed to participate in these things
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
General Tso's Cat.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-04-14 11:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I won't be attending for obvious reasons.