Brought to you by Thursday, the Emu-est Day of the Week ( For Jeanneee) (2402 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: emu
Rating: 1.94 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hadley (View user info) at 2005-04-14 14:46:10 EDT
(Reference http://www.ubersite.com/m/64141 and http://www.ubersite.com/m/64141#1267419)
Why does Thursday always rock so much anyway? Is our Judeo-Christian God celebrating the fact that it's named for Thor, the Old Norse pagan deity of strength and thunder, by making it an awesome day? Or is it just that it's so close to the weekend in the coming direction?
Well, that's enough of my ruminating on the origins of the Emu-est Day of the Week. More pressing concerns are at hand, namely:
I think I'm transubstantiating. That's right, peeps, I may be on the way out. Free to roam the tall grasses. See, the other day, I noticed I had grown some oily feathers. Then, when there was sufficient coverage, I tried to fly, but couldn't.
Yesterday, while B@W, I decided to Google my mystery symptoms (Google is a brilliant self-diagnosis tool for those of us with shitty medical coverage). Clickety-click, coat of oily feathers, still can't fucking fly, clickety-click and search - lo and behold, the first webpage to pop up is labeled, simply, "EMU."
GASP. That's all the proof I need that I'm becoming an elegant, flightless bird. Well, either that, or I'm out of my fucking mind. Either way, it's not looking too good for me.
What else, what else... Oh, if you're thinking of taking a 55 mile ride on a mountain bike, allow me to save you the trouble. By the time you reach your halfway mark and have to turn around, you need a rope ladder to get the seat out of your aching cornhole. Top off a burning sensation in your legs that roughly equates to the same one I got from that 6 year old Thai hooker, and you're pretty much going to wish you had spent the day doing something nice and relaxing. Like letting The_Lone_Stranger's Asian Sex Dwarf (http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=9305) individually tweeze yoru ass hairs and slap you with some Aqua Velva (http://www.ubersite.com/m/35706).
That said, I leave you with this picture of Jeanneee's little sister riding me last week. I hope you all have a pleasant Thursday, insofar as that is possible.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-14 10:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Emu racing needs to be in the Olympics. Emu-questrian.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-02 16:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
okay i lied. i really want an emu now.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-13 12:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66233#1323441
feel free to send that picture to missmunkeypants.at.gmail.com
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2005-04-22 16:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is it with you and emus, sparky?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-15 20:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
emuuuuu
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-15 18:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-15 17:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I was a large flightless bird.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-04-15 08:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sixxforty (user info) at 2005-04-14 18:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:43:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING EMUS. Someone needs to fight one in a circle of death sometime. Pay-per-view, no gloves, no rules, just straight up jujitsu because you know jujitsu and so do emus. DING!
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hahahaha
Submitted by gtz (user info) at 2005-04-14 18:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
After seeing that picture I have grown a large affection for emus.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING EMUS. Someone needs to fight one in a circle of death sometime. Pay-per-view, no gloves, no rules, just straight up jujitsu because you know jujitsu and so do emus. DING!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great ps by the way Hadley. I love ps, I once used it to remove my senior prom date from our picture. I subsequently replaced said date with Brad Pitt's mug.
Ahh Good Times
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:49:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
What is that small girl doing to that large turkey???
AND WHY IN GODS NAME IS SHE WEARING A HELMET
CALL THE POLICE
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What the FUCK you made me spit water all over my fucking monitor! Thank god I'm at work.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2's for life, Hadley.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:01:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:55:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder what emu sex looks like.
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I love it when my two Uber chicas are on top of me.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Any day with an emu is a good day.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know who looks more bored, Jeanneee's sister or you.
What day was this picture taken?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64141#1263390
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:01:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:55:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder what emu sex looks like.
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Bend over, I'll show each of you in turn....
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
:)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Emu-rific.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:55:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder what emu sex looks like.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:55:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm speechless.
I need to go somewhere and be alone for awhile.
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Come over here and sit on uncle Sphag's lap instead.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:55:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder what emu sex looks like.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha. I wanna call in to work tommorrow and shop.
But I wont.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm speechless.
I need to go somewhere and be alone for awhile.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet job on the PShop.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:51:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you can't stand your mom, get out of my pants.
i dont know why i felt the need to say that...
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder what emu sex looks like.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-04-14 14:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is that small girl doing to that large turkey???
AND WHY IN GODS NAME IS SHE WEARING A HELMET
CALL THE POLICE