Girls: Pull Your Heads Out Of Your Asses (6728 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.62 on 154 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AsshOly (View user info) at 2005-04-14 15:04:17 EDT
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, Who calls you back when you hang up on him, Who'll lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the one who kisses your forehead,Who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats, Who holds your hand in front of his friends, Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup, The one who always reminds you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says 'That's her'"
This brand of bullshit pisses me off to no end. I see it all the time in girls' AIM away messages and profiles and the general attitude is that this is the way everything is. It suggests that these girls who keep getting cheated on are victims of the malicious intentions of the boys they were dating. It suggests that these girls really are trying to find a guy who is willing to treat them well and that they will effectively reciprocate the manners. It suggests that these girls are pure, innocent virgins who have never seen or touched a penis.
Well, that fucking isn't the way things are. It's nothing more than a set of advice girls think they are following, but more often than not, they are doing the exact opposite. These girls, in my experience, take all of these desirable qualities in their men as signs of weakness. These girls are not victims; they get what they deserve. They will not treat this guy the way they say they will; they will walk all over him. And they are not sexually innocent; they would accept ketchup packets as payment for sucking dick.
We all know that in the dating game, the nice guy gets fucked (or, in this case, doesn't). Girls go after the guys who treat them like the filthy whores they are time after time after time. Girls like to know that their man will take charge, and opening a doorway to respect isn't taken as such. Girls don't WANT to be treated like shit, beneath it all, but most wouldn't have it any other way. Apparently the wounds between their legs prohibit them from thinking logically.
It isn't their fault, really. All of us - guys too - are pathologically attracted to the same person over and over and over again. The first person we date is the same type of person we will date forever and ever, or until we figure out that that is NOT what is right for us. If a girl's first love interest is abusive, she will be attracted to the same abusive personality until she figures out that a guy who "is nice when he wants to be" is nothing but a penis with a working brain. On the same lines, a girl who thinks with her head instead of her clit and finds a guy who will respect her - who also COMMANDS respect - will continue to find guys with the same level of maturity and will, in effect, never have the same problems all their dipshit peers encounter.
In almost the same way, guys are attracted to the same personalities in women time and again. I, for example, am attracted to mentally and emotionally unstable girls. Girls who, in some way or another, have managed to become damaged goods. All guys have some sort of recurring problem in their relationships. Some guys have been beaten into submission to the point where they actually embrace the woman who keeps his testicles pickled in a jar on her bedside table. Some find manipulative bitches. Other men find closet whores, the ones who are only prude when considering the fact that it has been a couple hours since she's ingested the seed of a man she wont remember ("No, I've loved every guy I have ever had sex with..."). We all find the wrong people enough to feel wrong with the right one.
But while both genders tend to get the game wrong, guys are much better at fixing it. Guys will make adjustments in their tastes (as physical appearance will always be the most important factor) much more quickly than women. Psychology says women are ten times (or some number near that, and I refuse to find a source) better than men at reading others, but I don't buy it. Girls tend to really, earnestly believe that guys are exactly who they claim to be upon introduction, disregarding the fact that every guy prior to this one has been interested only in sex. So you dumb shit girls go through all the exact same steps time and again and expect different results. When you never hear from the guy you met at the bar after that night, you will wonder what you did wrong.
Look at your best guy friends, girls. You would never date that guy because it would ruin the friendship (and because he is ugly, but we leave that unsaid). But isn't that what a relationship is? A glorified friendship, one with added intimacy and physical touching. So if all of the guys you get involved with treat you like shit, but your best friend will always be there and care for you, but to be involved in an intimate relationship with him would be wrong in too many ways to list, what the fuck? Your friend doesn't treat you like shit. Your friend IS your friend because he is the type of person you want to spend your time with, because he respects who you are without the burden of fucking you. But all the time you spent with the wrong guys has made it wrong to be with the right one, so you will never understand it.
My most recent ex-girlfriend is a perfect example of everything I have written thus far. She is the inspiration for this post. I told you my taste calls for mental and emotional instability, and this one has one leg to her table.
Before dating me, she was involved in two relationships, two years and three years respectively. Both cheated on her. Standards have been set.
She is the type of girl that every guy wants. The guys like me who aren't looking for sex respect her for keeping her legs shut and because she is awesome to hang out with and the guys who want to fuck her like her because she is stunningly gorgeous. She can get whomever the hell she wants and she knows it.
To make a very, very, very long story short, we broke up in November because I was nothing at all the way she expected a boyfriend to be. Since then, she has been involved with at least five guys, all of whom (not including me) were carbon copies of her first two ex-boyfriends. All of them were all about sex. One tried to rape her, one refused to advance to boyfriend/girlfriend status because she wouldn't put out, one became a boyfriend and promptly cheated on her. All the while, I keep getting hit with little nuggets like "The more I try to be without you the more I think I want to be with you".
The thing is, I hear more complaining from her about guys not treating her right than EVERYBODY else, ever, collectively. Her away message last night:
"'A girl asks a guy if he likes her. He says no. She asks if he thinks she is pretty. The guy says no. She asks if he would cry if she left, and again the guy said no. Having had enough, the girl turned away to cry, but was stopped by the boy, who said, "I don't like you, I LOVE you. I don't think youre pretty, I think youre beautiful. And if you left, I wouldn't cry, I would DIE."' Im off to find this guy because seriously I am tired of getting hurt."
Not that I want her back, but what the fuck? I WAS THAT GUY. If girls are tired of getting hurt, then what are they thinking going after guys who make it blatantly obvious that they WILL hurt them? It's because girls can't change their types. The first paragraph is another one of her favorites, and I did all those things for her. She didn't respect me. Of all the girls I've gotten involved with, I've only done those things for her, and she is the only one who has pushed ME away. I'm the kind of boyfriend moms cream their pants over - from a nice, moral, Christian family. Relatively intelligent and presentably good-looking. Mature, responsible. This girl's mother yelled at her when she broke up with me and I hadn't ever met her for more than a few minutes. I was the guy who wouldn't have hurt her, because I "loved" her (by most peoples' standards, anyways). But because I cared so much about her, I was not good enough for her. This has never happened to me before.
Fat Tony wrote a post about how if you abuse your woman, she will respect you. He was right. Abusing a girl, as bad as this is, is the only way to get a girl to care about a guy. It shows her that he is higher up than she is and that she needs to be there because he can do better. It's a PRIVELEGE to be with this man. She is being GRACED by his presence. A woman putting up with a man's shit validates her existence.
I went through this spiel with a good female friend of mine a couple nights ago. She denied this truth vehemently. I pushed her to tears and, when she told me she would never speak to me again, I calmly explained that I didn't give a shit. She walked away an emotional mess and I bet with my friend that it would take 36 hours to get a phone call from her.
It took 22 hours before she called my friend, then me.
Andrew: I thought you were never going to speak to me again?
Stephanie: I know, it's just so hard not to call you. I'm still mad at you though!
Andrew: Oh, well then, bye.
Stephanie: Wait! No, ok, I'm fine now.
I would never do this to her or anybody else again, but this point needs proving. I hate being this guy. I hate knowing that I have to be a total dick to get a girl to respect me.
So this is me giving up. I refuse to be the abusive boyfriend. Girls, please, pull your heads out of your asses for a little while. Get a breath of fresh air. Stop getting dicked around and have some respect for yourselves.
Or I quit. Seriously, I am fucking finished with you all.
User Reviews
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2007-07-22 21:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So true... So true. Now Fuck OFF!!
Submitted by English_Matt (user info) at 2005-09-16 10:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome rant.
I know exactly where you're coming from. I naturally a nice guy, which seems to leave me lonley a lot of the time while dickhead's all around are screwing over nice (but dumb, as you pointed out) women.
+2000 for you!
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2005-08-21 04:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"So this is me giving up. I refuse to be the abusive boyfriend. Girls, please, pull your heads out of your asses for a little while. Get a breath of fresh air. Stop getting dicked around and have some respect for yourselves. "
+23272 for that.
I don't really want to +2 this 11,636 times, so +2 will have to suffice.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-08-21 03:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2005-05-22 19:36:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAVO! I'd give you +1,000,000 if I could. You took my thoughts and put them into words. These girls piss me off.
______________________________________
Couldn't have put it better myself. I really have to stop dating psychos...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-08-21 02:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty serious stuff. well written.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-08-21 02:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-05-22 20:28:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
hahahahah you say you'll be 'fucking finished' or whatever, but you know, innately, it's bullshit. just +1 because you're kind of letting your bitterness cloud what matters.
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Nope. Usually, my bitterness would cloud what mattered. For most of the length of the situation with this girl, I was too bitter to realize it was over. But at the time I wrote this, I was set. Before I started dating the girl I'm with now, I hadnt even kissed a girl in six months, and it required a reach from me for it to even happen, and had I not, I'd still be going strong. I was seriously 'fucking finished'. I found a girl who my friends tell me is the first sane person I've dated, and we dont have problems like this.
Point is, I guess, when I say something like that, I stand by it, even if it makes no fucking sense at all and makes me much less happy. It worked out pretty well though.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-17 22:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very insightfull..
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-06-17 22:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another, you hot piece of man meat! Uh...
Submitted by mysterious.adventure (user info) at 2005-05-22 21:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very interesting.
My experience thus far, almost 25 years on Earth, has been as the nice guy. I refuse to and can't be an asshole. Every girl since elementary school has always said I was too nice. Somehow, that's resulted in never having a girlfriend. I'm not a hideous freak or anything, either. I have standards which I don't think are too high (but they're definately not low). The first thing I look for in a person is intelligence and someone I can have meaningful conversation with. I'm also very in touch with my emotions, which, stereotypically, guys aren't supposed to be. But, whatever. I am an individual and I choose to be me, and no one else.
I feel that one of my favorite quotes not only applies to music but to my outlook on life, as well:
"I do not write experimental music. My experimenting is done before I make the music. Afterwards, it is the listener who must experiment." - Edgard Varese
I found many of the reviews to be insightful, specifically this one:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64303#1268491
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-05-22 20:28:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hahahahah you say you'll be 'fucking finished' or whatever, but you know, innately, it's bullshit. just +1 because you're kind of letting your bitterness cloud what matters.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-05-22 19:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I reviewed this a month ago and, damnit, it's still true. Moreso than ever.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2005-05-22 19:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAVO! I'd give you +1,000,000 if I could. You took my thoughts and put them into words. These girls piss me off.
Submitted by Revan01 (user info) at 2005-05-22 19:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-19 05:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:11:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-04-23 03:50:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm.
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point well made.
=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Hahahahaha - Game, set and match to the baker.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-24 05:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
as it is and allways will be ,stay with it man you got the number baby!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-04-23 03:50:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm.
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point well made.
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-04-23 03:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-23 03:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Women don't want pussies, THEY ALREADY HAVE THEM."
I liked that.
Submitted by davedg629 (user info) at 2005-04-21 18:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by davedg629 (user info) at 2005-04-21 18:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+ a million, You really know what your talking about Assholy. First of all, there aren't any guys like the ones girl's describe in their AIM profiles and away messages, o wait, there is, we call them homosexuals. Girls NEVER go for guys like that, they want a guy that can take control. It is really instinctual of you think about it. Women know deep down that men are the dominant gender. Can't argue with that ladies (please try and argue against that). Women want some guy thats gonna take care of them, tell them what to do, etc. Women don't want pussies, THEY ALREADY HAVE THEM.
Thank You so very much assholy
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-19 09:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-04-18 19:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I hate knowing that I have to be a total dick to get a girl to respect me."
Stop wasting your time with vapid, souless leeches.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-04-18 16:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-04-17 00:54:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm so sick of hearing men whine about women. You know, you should all quit going after the wrong girls. And girls too. Quit bitching. People are people. No two people are the same. Human nature is to spread your nasty ass to as many mates as possible. You all suck. Fuck both genders.
The only reason why supposedly "nice" guys don't screw a bunch of girls is because "nice" guys are usually not given the opportunity to. And then they want credit for not being manwhores when if they could, they would. Let's all just face the facts. Relationships, love, marriage, etc. it's all fucked up. Take it all and roll it up into one big ball of bend-me-over-fuck-me-over cause that's what love is. It's two people who find themselves too in love to break up even if they don't even like the other fucking person. This isn't even a rant against men. It's against the entire concept of relationships. Fuck 'em.
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If this comment was a post, I'd +2 it.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-04-18 07:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well put.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-04-17 15:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A-men.
Submitted by Sgt_Badass (user info) at 2005-04-17 12:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's more to do with the problem girls have with 'nice guys' rather than the theory that they WANT to be treated like shit. In my experience, girls will invariably go for the more 'dangerous' guy, because they feel that nice guys will be boring. Girls love unpredictability, and only the assholes can provide them with that 24/7.
Good post anyway though.
Submitted by Martyn_Steiner (user info) at 2005-04-17 11:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by voxtones (user info) at 2005-04-17 06:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-04-17 00:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgot to rate. Good post, though one-sided.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-04-17 00:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm so sick of hearing men whine about women. You know, you should all quit going after the wrong girls. And girls too. Quit bitching. People are people. No two people are the same. Human nature is to spread your nasty ass to as many mates as possible. You all suck. Fuck both genders.
The only reason why supposedly "nice" guys don't screw a bunch of girls is because "nice" guys are usually not given the opportunity to. And then they want credit for not being manwhores when if they could, they would. Let's all just face the facts. Relationships, love, marriage, etc. it's all fucked up. Take it all and roll it up into one big ball of bend-me-over-fuck-me-over cause that's what love is. It's two people who find themselves too in love to break up even if they don't even like the other fucking person. This isn't even a rant against men. It's against the entire concept of relationships. Fuck 'em.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-16 08:21:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry forgot to give this its positive. I got all caught up in my response post http://www.ubersite.com/m/64400
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'Twas a good response. I forgive you.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-04-16 17:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna have to just agree with almost everything you wrote.
I got involved with a girl one time who said I was "crowding her" and coming on really strong. "Oh, sorry," I said, and preceeded to ignore her for a week.
And lo and behold, she didn't want a guy who paid attention to her, and listened to her. She wanted an asshole who would ignore her. She ends up calling me one night, begs me to come over, and we have sex then and there.
Submitted by ShotgunMessiah (user info) at 2005-04-16 09:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls all want to be used, but they only want to be used by someone really who loves and cares about them. The problem (for them) is when they forget which they want more, the pleasure of being used or the safety of being loved. Once that gets mixed up, you get a situation like that, where the girl gets used and dropped and hurt.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-16 08:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry forgot to give this its positive. I got all caught up in my response post http://www.ubersite.com/m/64400
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-04-16 05:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes, girls: Pull Your Heads Out Of Your Asses!
So that I can insert my tongue.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-16 04:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seven people out of that group of 300 with an ACT score over 23, remember?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-16 04:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How many times do I have to say I hate this school? Geez, she may not be real smart, but how many have YOU met while you were here? She's a good friend. Kelsey and Chris are the -ONLY- smart people I know at this school.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2005-04-15 23:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, about that Stephanie conversation you had....Why the hell are you associating with people who are this incredibly fickle? Unless there is something strong in this friendship I don't know about (which is certainly a possibility), I would have thought that someone like this would be one of those that annoys the intellectual hell out of you?
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-04-15 18:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Andrew: I thought you were never going to speak to me again?
Stephanie: I know, it's just so hard not to call you. I'm still mad at you though!
Andrew: Oh, well then, bye.
Stephanie: Wait! No, ok, I'm fine now.
Oh man what a classic
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-04-15 15:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-04-15 10:16:15 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-04-15 08:44:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Touch the back of her elbow as you open the door for her, guiding her through it. Put your hand lightly on the small of her back as she starts up a flight of stairs. Let her know subconsciously that you are her support WITHOUT BEING A SAP ABOUT IT! There is a time and place for everything. Just some thoughts on the matter.
_______________________________
What a fuck load of crap.
I swear I'd cheat on you with your dad if you did that to me.
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Jerry Springer is on line one. Something about us being a panel guest?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-15 15:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crys (user info) at 2005-04-15 11:39:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, Who calls you back when you hang up on him, Who'll lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the one who kisses your forehead,Who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats, Who holds your hand in front of his friends, Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup, The one who always reminds you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says 'That's her'"
I actually could agree with most of that philosophy, except "Who calls you back when you hang up on him." That's a sign of a true bitch. It should say, "Who I love enough to not hang up on."
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I agree.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-15 14:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think some of you missed the point of this post. I dont need more girls. Girls I can get, and girls I have. I want a girl I can talk to about nothing for hours and hours, who I can lay in bed with and not even think about when she's going to start playing with my dick. I want a girl I can be honest with who will also be honest with me. I want a girl with a sense of humor who will take the bad things I say as jokes because I say some pretty shitty things.
I dont want a girl to fuck me just because I was sappy and emotional. That's just not what I want. There are girls for you, then there are girls for me.
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2005-04-15 13:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
www.doubleyourdating.com
Submitted by Worm (user info) at 2005-04-15 13:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*clap*
Submitted by dreadnaught_X (user info) at 2005-04-15 12:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it, although I'm not sure why.
Submitted by Crys (user info) at 2005-04-15 11:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, Who calls you back when you hang up on him, Who'll lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the one who kisses your forehead,Who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats, Who holds your hand in front of his friends, Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup, The one who always reminds you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says 'That's her'"
I actually could agree with most of that philosophy, except "Who calls you back when you hang up on him." That's a sign of a true bitch. It should say, "Who I love enough to not hang up on."
Submitted by notoriousbrett (user info) at 2005-04-15 10:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This isn't high school. Love's overrated.
And group sex is fucking awesome.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-04-15 10:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-04-15 08:44:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Touch the back of her elbow as you open the door for her, guiding her through it. Put your hand lightly on the small of her back as she starts up a flight of stairs. Let her know subconsciously that you are her support WITHOUT BEING A SAP ABOUT IT! There is a time and place for everything. Just some thoughts on the matter.
_______________________________
What a fuck load of crap.
I swear I'd cheat on you with your dad if you did that to me.
What you need to do is GRAB her ass when no-one is looking!
Give her that look that says "I'm going to do you sideways when we get in"!
Don't tell her anything - DO SOMETHING that shows you think shes hot, and leave feelings for when she wants to talk about them...
THEN, and only THEN do you pretend to clam up... and let her think she's gained your trust when you open up and you're honest.... and then get all sexual straight after.
THATS WHAT WE WANT FOR GODS SAKE! Just like you lot want a blow job giving, doggie style taking, washing machine working, dish washer of a woman.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-04-15 09:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read it all, but what I read I liked.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-04-15 09:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-04-15 06:49:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Women are definitely psycho, as a rule. Keep in mind, though, that there must be a high enough male population behaving less than honourably in order for the process to perpetuate itself. If there were only a handful of males behaving like they're Dubya, women wouldn't be attracted to it because it wouldn't exist in their minds. Guys are equally guilty- but I see your point that women welcome it to a startling extent.
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oh no doubt.
I'm the first to admit I'm a psycho...
...but I'm a friendly, happy, silly psycho so i get love all the same
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-04-15 08:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:14:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
"I tell you, women are retarded and petty, and if they have a good thing (i.e., you) they get so annoyed at the lack of emotional tension that they create some and destroy a relationship. "
I was trying to get that point across somewhere in here but I couldnt figure out how to write it. Thanks.
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Well, I think you have it backwards here. You can create tension in the relationship just as easy as she can. Not a bad tension or stressful tension but some kind of tension. Women and men need tension in a relationship, not a lot that is destructful but some (sexual) tension. Telling a woman how you feel about her is the easiest way to get rid of her. Think of the movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days", wouldn't you get so sick of the way she acted? Then why would you expect a woman to not get tired of you profoundly spilling your heart to her every five minutes?
Make it fun, learn how to communicate to her with a smile, a smirk and a wink from across the crowded room.
You don't need to hold her hand around your friends or in public. It isn't about letting everyone around know that this is your woman. It is about letting her and only her know. Touch the back of her elbow as you open the door for her, guiding her through it. Put your hand lightly on the small of her back as she starts up a flight of stairs. Let her know subconsciously that you are her support WITHOUT BEING A SAP ABOUT IT! There is a time and place for everything. Just some thoughts on the matter.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-04-15 08:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It could be worse though. I mean they figure it out in the end and then all that hard work in being able to figure this stuff out pays off. It's just a learning curve.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-04-15 08:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, if I had a quid for everytime some self deluded man (aka Nice Guy) said something like that to me, I'd have about £57.50.
Listen, its time to wake up - this chick... Your ex, was USING you. She likes the danger, its exciting.
She will consistently say things like "I want a guy that does the washing up/treats me nice" until the day she dies because that's what we're programmed to say.
In fact, what we all actually want is the "Bad Boy We Can Tame".
You have now inspired my next new advice post.
Dr. Belle is back...
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-04-15 07:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"or will stay awake just to watch you sleep"
I was going to minus two you just for this line, girls say shit like this, but lets face it this is the guy who will slash your tires.
But then I read the rest of your post, I agree there are some women like that, and they are good to jam, but I wouldn't get in a serious relationship with them. You can never have a real relationship with a women like that. I plan on trying to make my wife as happy as possible, you do that to a girl like this, and she will cheat on you or walk all over you, they need to be treated like shit to feel like they are with someone worthwhile, and don't want to treat someon I love like that.
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2005-04-15 07:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So true.
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-04-15 06:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Women are definitely psycho, as a rule. Keep in mind, though, that there must be a high enough male population behaving less than honourably in order for the process to perpetuate itself. If there were only a handful of males behaving like they're Dubya, women wouldn't be attracted to it because it wouldn't exist in their minds. Guys are equally guilty- but I see your point that women welcome it to a startling extent.
Good post, I enjoyed it, as well as agreed with it, so have a +2.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-04-15 06:42:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-15 05:03:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've met very few women out there that are beyond this stupidity, but I must say only very few. They are almost like mythical creatures, such as Loch Ness monsters, fairies or the Irish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey! I'm Irish and I exist.
I think.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-04-15 06:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:40:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
This illogical behavior applies to us men as well. It just shows less since we're less emotional, I think.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Thats exactly what I was thinking.
However, I'm one of the lucky ones, I've ended up with a man who was initially my 'friend'. And its brilliant. But then I've always (as you mentioned earlier actually) commanded respect. I think everyone should. What I find really hard is watching people in wrong relationships who haven't got the balls to leave as they don't want to be alone and therefore settle for second best. Is life so bad being single? In my eyes, no. Eventually, after years of ploughing our way through unsuitables, weirdos, insecure nutters.. we find our match. Usually. And all thats happened in between was just a learning curve. Which makes you a better person anyway.
Submitted by Eros (user info) at 2005-04-15 06:33:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i cant even begin to tell you just exactly how true this is
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-15 06:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, I'm not whining about my girlfriend breaking up with me. If you know me personally you know that I will never need a girl, ever.
I know you get points for humor, which is why I try to add some in. Laughter is the best medicine, right? In laughter, we transcend our predicaments. I become bigger than this bullshit by joking about it. But in all seriousness, women are just plain stupid when it comes to certain aspects of life, and this post's purpose is to expose it.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-15 05:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is true. Always the nicest men are kept in the elusive "just friends" basket.
I've met very few women out there that are beyond this stupidity, but I must say only very few. They are almost like mythical creatures, such as Loch Ness monsters, fairies or the Irish.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-15 04:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is mostly true, but not all true. Not all women are like this (just mostly, and yeah, it's sad).
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-15 03:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is true then I'm gonna be a virgin forever!
Submitted by ze_poodle (user info) at 2005-04-15 03:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You know, I'd probably give this a +2 if I hadn't seen something like it about a hundred times beforehand. Honestly, any attempt at generalising relationships is pointless, due to the sheer variety of possible circumstances that might affect aforementioned relationships.
One thing I can sympathise with you on is your assumption that women are crazy. My last girlfriend used to hit people. I'm not kidding, she'd walk up to you and kick you in the shins to say hello, and punch you in the stomach to say goodbye. She got away with it because she was pretty hot, and everyone liked her. To be honest, she punched like a girl. Anyway, one day she punched me and I didn't notice, so she punched me harder before realising that it didn't hurt me at all. She asked me out roughly ten minutes later, and three months later she broke up with me via an email that contained a paragraph composed of one entire sentence with no capital letters.
Really, I kinda wish people would stop whining about their girlfriends breaking up with them. You get points for humour.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-15 02:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Vermin, you are the type of idiot out of whom I am required to beat the life every time one of my girl friends gets hurt. YOU are the dipshit these stupid little girls keep following, and they keep ignoring my advice. Just do me a favor and drive your car off a bridge before somebody like me breaks your neck.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-15 02:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for being able to use so many awesome often ignored words.
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2005-04-15 01:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Normally I don't link whore but I wrote a post with people like you in mind. You really should read it http://www.ubersite.com/m/44276
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-15 01:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, I remember that. I wasnt there, and I think it was Karen who said that to you. I dont know. Krystyn never called you broccoli but always talked about how much she loves you.
Oh, Ashlee, let me tell you how much I love telling you what you really want.
This much.
Submitted by RouteTwo (user info) at 2005-04-15 00:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...then you're welcome to rebute this post formally without sarcastic, ambiguous, horseshit statements.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-04-14 23:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Being a girl, let me just tell you how much I love being told what girls really want/like.
Submitted by Shaun_Rocks (user info) at 2005-04-14 23:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too fucking true man. There was one time that I was talking with you and Krystyn last year while you two were still together, and I don't remember if you guys told me this or if it was someone else. But whoever it was said (something similar to this at least), "Costa, you're nice, funny, charming; basically you are what every girl wants, they just don't know it.....basically you're the broccoli of dating."
I totally fucking agree with you about girls. They're all fucking insane and don't know what they really want.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-04-14 23:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very true.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
true dat
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, i look forward to your comments on every one of my posts.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not sure what your point is here, Opie, since I can't relate to the high school happy horseshit that goes on these days...
But you seem like a pretty sharp dork so I'll support you here...in whatever the fuck it is that you're saying.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh ok. Sorry; I'm bad at telling sarcasm from reality. Live and learn, I guess.
Submitted by kochier (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really good friends with a chick who is like that, she goes out with guys who treat her like shit then comes crying to me, and of course she doesn't want to risk the friendship %99 of chicks I talk to find me too friendly to risk a friendship for. I only ever get a girl if I go out with her the day I meet her before I have a chance to screw it up by being friendly. And they should figure something out, I'm too nice to stop talking to them if we break up, the first girl I had sex with cheated on my twice and broke up with me though a friend and me and her still hang.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:23:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:14:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
"I tell you, women are retarded and petty, and if they have a good thing (i.e., you) they get so annoyed at the lack of emotional tension that they create some and destroy a relationship. "
I was trying to get that point across somewhere in here but I couldnt figure out how to write it. Thanks.
_______________________________
So rather than just sit back and let the sympathizers roll in, you'd rather be a dick to them. Makes sense to me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Absolutely corr--
wait - what? I was agreeing with you. I was trying to tell you that you added to my post immensely with that line.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:46:32 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:48:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:38:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
What are you supposed to do when you fall for a girl who thinks you're just another obsessive asshole who wants to get between her legs? Try to be nice and show her you care for her, then you're a "nice guy," and you're left behind. It's all such a fucking mess sometimes...
=================================================
How about be yourself and not worry about what you want, or dont want, out of her. This means that you are who you are, and you're in control of your own life, and she's welcome to be a part of that, or not be.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm inclined to agree with one of the earlier reviewers who simply said, "relationships are overrated." I can't decide whether to use the word illusion or myth. I'll go with myth; One of the biggest myths is that once you find a sex partner then everthing will be okay. Bullshit. Take a closer look at some of these "perfect couples". If you could follow him and her (let's leave the gay thing alone for now) through 24 or maybe 48 hours, you would see that these people still have lots of problems and obstacles and challenges in their lives. Now scroll or look up to Mr Willards comment above. I just can't say it any better than he did. Hint: I have a lot of good memories of when I was single.
==================================================
I spent a long time being fucked up in the head and thinking I needed something out of someone else. I'm starting to see that that isn't the case at all. You don't have to turn into a raging asshole, or anything else that you're not. Its about knowing yourself and being comfortable with that. Its also about not letting a woman manipulate that out of you.
As a co-worker once said "go straight crazy on them." Call them on their bullshit. Never do what they want. Be cocky when necessary. Its all a game.
Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unless you actually mean it. Then, I retract my statement.
Submitted by kochier (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The first part describes me so well, but so many girls have taken advantage of my good-will, aka well your my boyfriend won't you please buy me this or that that I'm more cautius now and a lot less giving, I used to give away around half my paycheck, now it's around 10 to 20, not including dates when I take the girl out, haven't read the rest but I will
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:14:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
"I tell you, women are retarded and petty, and if they have a good thing (i.e., you) they get so annoyed at the lack of emotional tension that they create some and destroy a relationship. "
I was trying to get that point across somewhere in here but I couldnt figure out how to write it. Thanks.
_______________________________
So rather than just sit back and let the sympathizers roll in, you'd rather be a dick to them. Makes sense to me.
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't finish it, so if you said something outragiously offensive at the end, don't hold me to it. Though I did agree with what you said.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it was me who said that, peckerhead. I said theyre just glorified frienships.
Relationships ARE overrated. People put way too much stock into dating. I have told each one of the girls I've been involved with that if we cant be friends outside the relationship than we are fucked either way. My wife, some day, will be a friend. My best friend, but a friend nonetheless.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:48:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:38:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
What are you supposed to do when you fall for a girl who thinks you're just another obsessive asshole who wants to get between her legs? Try to be nice and show her you care for her, then you're a "nice guy," and you're left behind. It's all such a fucking mess sometimes...
=================================================
How about be yourself and not worry about what you want, or dont want, out of her. This means that you are who you are, and you're in control of your own life, and she's welcome to be a part of that, or not be.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm inclined to agree with one of the earlier reviewers who simply said, "relationships are overrated." I can't decide whether to use the word illusion or myth. I'll go with myth; One of the biggest myths is that once you find a sex partner then everthing will be okay. Bullshit. Take a closer look at some of these "perfect couples". If you could follow him and her (let's leave the gay thing alone for now) through 24 or maybe 48 hours, you would see that these people still have lots of problems and obstacles and challenges in their lives. Now scroll or look up to Mr Willards comment above. I just can't say it any better than he did. Hint: I have a lot of good memories of when I was single.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-04-14 20:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn... You're right.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:38:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
What are you supposed to do when you fall for a girl who thinks you're just another obsessive asshole who wants to get between her legs? Try to be nice and show her you care for her, then you're a "nice guy," and you're left behind. It's all such a fucking mess sometimes...
=================================================
How about be yourself and not worry about what you want, or dont want, out of her. This means that you are who you are, and you're in control of your own life, and she's welcome to be a part of that, or not be.
Submitted by GreenRiver (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
What are you supposed to do when you fall for a girl who thinks you're just another obsessive asshole who wants to get between her legs? Try to be nice and show her you care for her, then you're a "nice guy," and you're left behind. It's all such a fucking mess sometimes...
Submitted by Libra (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Meh, shit happens, either that or I'm too mellow right now from all this Smashing Pumpkins.
We need to talk.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-04-14 19:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, I am so fucking lucky.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-04-14 18:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:43:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not that I'm a prude, it's not that I am not a sexual being, it's that I respect myself enough to keep my legs closed. I don't suck dicks that belong to guys I don't know. I don't suck dicks that belong to someone I don't care about. And if you are a male that is potentially interested, you have the following options: Get over it or go home. Yet, society (and it especially seems like men on this site) wants to say that that is the only way I am going to find someone that wants to be with me. I am sorry, but I don't want a guy to ever love me because of the great blowjob I just gave him. That cannot be a self-esteem booster.
This, of course, is a lonely life. It's difficult to find someone at the right time that is okay with the choices I have and will continue to make. I would encourage you too not give up, either. Even if you never find someone that you want to be with forever, you shouldn't have to lower your standards because "everyone else" is dating hot sluts.
=========================
strwbryfanatic, You're so very dead on!!! I do not respect girls who flaunt their stuff and who are easy. You are correct, it is a lonely life-not lowering your standards.
Submitted by PoloboiGC (user info) at 2005-04-14 18:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus fucking 2 I wrote something like this a while back they ate me alive.
But it was only because I wrote it.
Dumb bitches.. that's why I'm marrying a foriegn girl. Thats for damn sure. Only from Brazil.
Submitted by Methodius (user info) at 2005-04-14 18:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GREAT.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uou have discovered the correct formular doctor ,stay with it!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:47:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to write a rant-post about this, but, well, you did it already. Thanks, I guess.
I got a new car today. WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING MAN! I hate awkward silences.
...
......
Fucking hell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU were going to write a rant like this? Seems not your style, but alright.
I threw a taco at a car today in the wal-mart parking lot for speeding past my friend.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to write a rant-post about this, but, well, you did it already. Thanks, I guess.
I got a new car today. WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING MAN! I hate awkward silences.
...
......
Fucking hell.
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:10:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, I did AND I married him. He's also an unbelievable bastard, treats me like a filthy whore in bed, and has half a dozen other little quirks that I absolutely love. I feel for you poor idiots, I found the man who can not only be the sweetest, most lovably sarcastic asshole on the planet but he knows when to stand up to me ,and my bitchiness, and tell me to shut the fuck up. He's the only one I ever listened to, respected enough to listen to, at least.
God damn, I love that man.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I didn't know they made 2 like that! Lucky you!
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that you are 100% correct in everything you say. A female friend of mine attempted to explain this to me a while back. It was something to the effect of "women want the asshole now, but they know that isn't the type of person they want to marry...". This line had me banging my head against a wall trying to wrap my brain around it.
However, women who have reached their epiphany about men and assholes aren't much better. You be the best man you can be to them, and they appreciate it, but you never get a return phone call. Why? "Because you're not the man I want to marry." I found this to be an interesting comment, because I don't remember proposing marriage.
I say all that to say that I'm with you on the single thing. I'd rather be a lonely chronic masturbator, than to deal with all the fickle bitches out there. I can't be an asshole, I've tried, it does not work for me, and I am almost convinced that there are no women in the world that would appreciate this.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not that all girls are psychos, it's that the hotter they are, the crazier they are, because they know that guys will forgive it because they're pretty.
There's a song from back in the day that sums it up pretty well... "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife."
+2 for being well-written, despite the fact that there's a post exactly like this almost every day of the week.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i shoulda been born a guy.
I lack the girly gene
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha, Urbane, I think youre in the minority with most of that. I hear ya, though.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot
...who cares? as long as he's attracted to you
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
...nobody likes a pushover
Who'll lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
A. I'm not pregnant, so don't go listening to heartbeats.
B. If i wake up to you staring at me, I'm likely to freak out. please don't freak me out.
Wait for the one who kisses your forehead,
....i got something else for you to kiss RIGHT HERE
Who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats,
...i don't want to be shown off to the world no matter WHAT i'm wearing.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends,
....not constantly. once in awhile, whatever... no overly gropey shit in public.
Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup,
.... he better, most of the time i'm too damn lazy to put that shit on.
The one who always reminds you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.
...oh yes, because you are god's gift to the earth. You insecure schmuck. How about a guy that just has some intelligence and can converse without constantly saying "you're so cute, you're so beautiful, you are the light of my very pathetic life" READ A BOOK OR TWO SO WE HAVE SOMETHING TO DISCUSS
The one who turns to his friends and says 'That's her'"
....no. just no.
How about turn to your friends and say either, "haha, she looks horny, see ya later" or just simply wave fucking hello or something. not everything is meant to be a sappy-assed fagville event.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I tell you, women are retarded and petty, and if they have a good thing (i.e., you) they get so annoyed at the lack of emotional tension that they create some and destroy a relationship. "
I was trying to get that point across somewhere in here but I couldnt figure out how to write it. Thanks.
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never a truer post..
This is what I want as follows........
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:59:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want a man who loves me enough to hold my hair back when I pray to the porcelain god.
Nuff said
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ditto
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, Who calls you back when you hang up on him, Who'll lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the one who kisses your forehead,Who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats, Who holds your hand in front of his friends, Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup,.......
---------------------
Thanks, I did AND I married him. He's also an unbelievable bastard, treats me like a filthy whore in bed, and has half a dozen other little quirks that I absolutely love. I feel for you poor idiots, I found the man who can not only be the sweetest, most lovably sarcastic asshole on the planet but he knows when to stand up to me ,and my bitchiness, and tell me to shut the fuck up. He's the only one I ever listened to, respected enough to listen to, at least.
God damn, I love that man.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Nice guys finish last" is a true statement. Women look for the jerks most of the time and there isn't anything you can do to change it.
Plus the statement "You can't make a whore a housewife" is true too... People don't make these phrases up for nothing.
Submitted by HenryV1598 (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm only giving this a +2 because I can't give it anything higher. DAMN, its almost like you read my mind on this. I'm generally the kind of guy you are, the nice guy who gets shit on by every girl he knows.
I've loved my best friend for just about 4 years now. We tried a relationship, but she broke it off because she just wasn't ready for something as deep as I wanted. I'd still marry her in a heartbeat if she ever wanted to come back to me. Most of the guys she's seen since then have treated her like dirt. But she keeps looking for them and finding them. Meanwhile, I'm left to pick up the peices every time some ass helmet breaks her heart. I'm sick of seeing it happen, but I can't and won't stop being there for her. But its a no-win situation.
Really, girls... why the hell does it have to be like this? You all SAY you want this that and the other, but the guys who seem to get you most excited are all one step above pond slime on the evolutionary ladder (hell, some are quite a few steps below), while the guys who WANT to give you everything you ever said you wanted are the ones sitting at home friday nights watching battlestar galactica reruns on the Sci Fi channel while you're out seeking your next broken heart.
Really, it makes me want to become a total bastard: its the only way to get you interested.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Who calls you back when you hang up on him"
___________________________
I love how it's acceptable for women to pull shit like this. If you hang up on your woman, any subsequent dialogue will be more of a monologue.
I've had only one girlfriend to date, and when she broke up with me, it was because of many things, including, but not limited to:
a. I'm a pompous asshole
b. She loved me first
c. She never loved me to begin with
d. It's not you, it's me
e. OK, it is you
Not only did she come up with a half-assed argument, she wrote it in a letter...and made her friend deliver it. She couldn't even hand-deliver her breakup note to me? What a fucking coward.
I tell you, women are retarded and petty, and if they have a good thing (i.e., you) they get so annoyed at the lack of emotional tension that they create some and destroy a relationship.
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-14 17:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that a was long read.
I was able to change my type. I used to end up with cheaters and liars. Which still makes me a little paranoid in my current relationship.
This guy is a nice asshole. He's mean (by mean I mean he's very blunt and has a twisted sense of humor, which I love!) and funny, he always makes me laugh, he's a blast to be around, yet very caring and there for me if I need him. He's my best friend. I wish this kind of relationship on everyone....
Enough about me... good luck finding the "perfect" girl (whatever that means for you)!
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sad but true.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:54:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your rant applies to 98% of men and women out there.
But those other 2% are out there, and when you finally find one of them, it's awesome.
Trust me.
Submitted by Smoothe (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hear, hear - I've been "let go" because I was "just too nice." No shit. Now, I'm no pushover, but I know how to treat a girl really well. I am a cunning linguist, which aurally pleases them ladies. Being told I was too nice is like smoking a joint and saying "that shit got me too high". "I will now stop using my air quotes"
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written.
You're absolutely right.
Before January, I was the guy that you are. The nice guy that finished last. Before Jan., I had only "been" with one girl. I was head over heels for her. Then she left me for a stupid reason. From that day forward, I took some advice from a friend and started being a total ass.
Since then, things have gotten considerably better.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Assh0ly,
Intially when we are welcomed into the world, we want the whole "white knight" thing. Eventually, we realize that this is not reality. From there, you have the girls that still think they can get the white knight by fucking as many guys as possible and, eventually, one will stay with them. These girls, as you mention, do not respect themselves. I, for the record, am not in that category.
It's not that I'm a prude, it's not that I am not a sexual being, it's that I respect myself enough to keep my legs closed. I don't suck dicks that belong to guys I don't know. I don't suck dicks that belong to someone I don't care about. And if you are a male that is potentially interested, you have the following options: Get over it or go home. Yet, society (and it especially seems like men on this site) wants to say that that is the only way I am going to find someone that wants to be with me. I am sorry, but I don't want a guy to ever love me because of the great blowjob I just gave him. That cannot be a self-esteem booster.
This, of course, is a lonely life. It's difficult to find someone at the right time that is okay with the choices I have and will continue to make. I would encourage you too not give up, either. Even if you never find someone that you want to be with forever, you shouldn't have to lower your standards because "everyone else" is dating hot sluts.
What I am trying to say is that not all girls are bitches, just like not all guys are assholes. You shouldn't generalize and say that what Fat Tony said was true. The same girls that are sleeping with people they don't care about (and thus do not respect themselves, in my opinion) are the girls that don't understand why they get their ass beat and cheated on, etc. While I am not justifying the abuse, I am trying to point out that these girls probably expect this behavior in the future - since, as you said, they fall into the pattern. Not all girls have shitty patterns.
Go vaginas WOOO!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just went through it. He said "you're perfect for me, I can't find anything wrong with you, but we're just too comfortable together"
Guys - WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ABOUT?!?!? And no, it wasn't lack of attraction on his part.
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Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:44:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:42:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
You're generalizing.
The street goes both ways buddy.
---
Agreed!
Submitted by mybrainisawaffle (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You get a gold star, man.
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellently choreographed.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just because I read it over again and realized that we're in the same boat, only i manage to keep the girl around.
Eventually it'll happen and this whole dating bullshit will be over.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-04-14 16:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, Who calls you back when you hang up on him, Who'll lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the one who kisses your forehead,Who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats, Who holds your hand in front of his friends, Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup, The one who always reminds you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. The one who turns to his friends and says 'That's her'"
I do that. Is there something wrong with me?
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want a man who loves me enough to hold my hair back when I pray to the porcelain god.
Nuff said
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a horrible truth, but a truth it is.
+2.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chicks, man. Chicks are fucked.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've met plenty of nice guys; a general lack of maturity on my part prevents me from staying with them.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Relationships are overrated.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:42:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
You're generalizing.
The street goes both ways buddy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know, and I addressed this.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:42:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
You're generalizing.
The street goes both ways buddy.
---
Agreed!
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:40:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
You got nice points but I stopped caring about that a while ago.
This illogical behavior applies to us men as well. It just shows less since we're less emotional, I think.
-----------------------------------
Thanks for being a stud. You rock.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're generalizing.
The street goes both ways buddy.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sort of wrote something like this a while back, but I don't want to linkwhore on your post. The title starts with "Sex."
I have the same gripe as you do from listening to my female friends whine and complain about the guys they date...or guys that they want who won't date them. Very aggravating, and I agree with you completely.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt, my AIM address is IamAndy34.
People, go read Johnny's post he linked to. No shit.
Submitted by Darshiscool (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bravo.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You got nice points but I stopped caring about that a while ago.
This illogical behavior applies to us men as well. It just shows less since we're less emotional, I think.
We're so fucked up nowadays. We don't have social or religious pressure anymore so we wander around, shopping for the perfect soulmate, pretending we seek <L>ove while in reality, we really are just out control -- driven by our most basic emotions. Maybe our mindset just has trouble adujsting to the fast and shocking change. The luxury and freedom to choose our partner is relatively new after all.
Anyway, good luck with that.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for informing me of this in my formative years. I still have to get a sack for my head, though, because I'm still fugly. It would certainly explain why noone sees me as 'a boyfriend'.
But what the hey, I'm seventeen, so I got some time left.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I, for example, am attracted to mentally and emotionally unstable girls."
Welcome to the fuckin club. I'll by the first round.
Submitted by PrescriptionX (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The scale should go higher. Anyways, great post man, I know exactly how you feel, shit I had a girl dick me around because I cared to much for her. She got into another relationship pretty much seconds after dumping me and then that fell apart about a month later. Now guess who's trying to get back into my life because I said I was through talking to her. Women... what the fuck?
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"they would accept ketchup packets as payment for sucking dick."
The funniest line I have ever read in any post.
Do the google search (David DeAngelo) as listed below. It makes sense.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, I fuckin knew that picture was going to be on here....because it also hangs in my living room. when my chick friends come by, all messed up about their asshole ex, I sit them down so they are directly across from it...
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FANTASTIC!!!!
you couldnt have posted this at a better moment in my life.
wow.
bookmarking!
(by the way, firstly, my AIM is the same as my ubername, and secondly, be prepared for an onslaught of "some girls are like that, but I'M NOT!" from females who really... dont know what the fuck they're talking about.)
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry meant to give this a 2
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, also forgot to add - chicks are insane. Hitch up your balls and be that asshole that everyone loves to hate.
Your CPU will thank you for it.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it can take a long time to find your person, but they're out there... chin up, lad.
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lets face it - chicks don't find nice guys attractive. Jerks are attractive 'cause they act like real men.
Google "David DeAngelo" - he'll explain it to you...
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a girl. I have been in several unfulfilling relationships where the guy was an asshole who cheated on me. I ran into an old friend. We started talking. I really like him now. BECAUSE he is sweet, gentle, kind, and would never hurt me. I decided that I would never go out with an asshole guy ever again. And I would never cheat on him or hurt him. So I guess I'm an exception to the rule.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not ever person is the same.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've answered your questions here in my post, seriously - check it out.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/50371
Good rant, and I think I have the solution for you.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's true, what you say. 95% of the people I've met in this life are mentally ill.
People sometimes ask me why I've been single for so long. Bottom line: I'd rather be alone than deal with someone else's baggage, especially when that someone thinks he deserves perfection.
Single people of this world, embrace your singlehood. You'll miss it when it's gone.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wah.
I've been the "nice girl" plenty of times and yes, I've gotten screwed over. It works both ways. The bitchier I am to a guy, the less time and effort I put into him, the more he wants me. You explain THAT phenomenon to me, and I'll try and explain the asshole theory to you.
PS-It's because we're dumb.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
" they would accept ketchup packets as payment for sucking dick."
hahahhahahahaha...back to the post...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-14 15:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice rant.
"Some guys have been beaten into submission to the point where they actually embrace the woman who keeps his testicles pickled in a jar on her bedside table."
And that line made me laugh.