I'm A Monster, Also Planning A Par-tay (817 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.86 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kochierRWH(981) (View user info) at 2005-04-14 21:19:23 EDT
So I was raking the yard today, spring has finally arrived in the 'Peg it seems. Now imagine this people,I have recently gone goth so I was wearing nothing but black, black shoes, socks, pants, boxers, shirt, hoodie, and overcoat. I ahd the hood of my hoodie on and a pair of black sunglasses and I was raking while listening to Janis Joplin very loud, loud enough so people walking by could hear from my headphones. Needless to say people were staring, cause they are bastards with nothing else to do. So anyway I'm raking the yard fill a bag full of grass and left-over weeds and consider my work done, today's like the only time I'm home during the day so my brother has to finish anyway. Anyway all this hot work in the sun seems to have gotten me quite dry, wait that sounds wrong it got me quite thirsty, there that sounds better, thirsty, so I decide to go the the local convenience store, Marvins to get a 2L of something to cool me down(wearing black sucks).
So as I'm walking down the street I pass two girls, the oldest of which couldn't be more than eleven. As I pass them there is a really strong smell of weed, and boy do I mean storng, they must have had at least an ounce on them. As I'm walking past I'm thinking these girls are way too young to be smoking weed, but I had this sudden urge to follow them, so I turn around and start following, not stalking, them. I follow them for a few streets and the smell of weed is as strong as ever, so I decide to talk to them. I turn off my music and ask them if they have any weed. The eldest replies that yes she does, she just bought some by Marvins. So I do the worst thing I have ever done in my life, I ask them if I could match them, and they agreed!
I invite them back to my house cause no one is home right now. So when they get there I only have half an ounce to match so I go into my closet and pull out my pipe and paers, my bong is on loan to my friend David for the past two months now, it's my fault cause I have never gone over to his house since then. Anyway so I start rolling as we pass the pipe around. Half an hour later we had gone through a half an ounce, and I was as high as I wanted, but the girls still wanted to keep going and I couldn't let some eleven year old and nine year old out-pot me! so I kept going. I managed to make it through the other half but man was I screwed up after that. THe girls were pretty high too but the nine year old said that if I was willing to give her and the eleven year-old head they would share the rest. Now bear in mind I was really high at the time...
But I still ain't going to give these two girls head so I managed to get them out of my house masturbated and went to sleep. So I'm not a total monster!
Anyway I'm having a grad party at the end of June and I'm wondering what to have, want this to be an extra-kick ass party cause it's grad. I'm already getting fireworks and a old toilet (note the two are for the same thing, fireworks then I'm blowing up the toilet). I also though of this drinking game where we listen to "paint it black" and every time we hear black we have to take a shot. I've already got $945 saved up and I'll have at least another 500 by end of June I'm buying a ton of alcohol and some of my friends said they'll bring and pretty everyone whose coming is bringing some, 'cept the DD and people who too young to or dont want to drink. Getting lots of food, hot wings, pizza, tons of chips etc. so any ideas people?
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-15 19:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
amusing
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-15 09:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-04-15 01:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because you're Canadian
+2 because you smoke pot
-2 for having deviant thoughts about underage girls
+2 for not acting on those thoughts
-2 for encouraging underage drug use
+2 for getting high yourself
+2 for suggesting a party
-2 for suggesting it online to a bunch of people you don't know
And finally......
-2 for Winnipeg
Sorry man, but that city hit it's peak about 100 years ago. I would call it good for nothing, but Neil Young once called it home.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-04-14 23:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That still only balances out to a 1. If you gave me another, it'd be 1.5. That is, if you want to make it closer to a 2. You said that that's what you meant to give.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-14 22:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Did this just say blah blah blah? Thought so.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Soooooooooooo
Lets see now
#1 a little "Stalk-lite"
#2 some dope
#3 contributing to the delinquency of a minor.Wait! Change that to Child Endangerment +
#4 conspiracy to commit lewd acts on a child
#5 "choking your chicken" meh...what ever floats your boat
#6 thru
#10 all the shit I would make up if I was the investigating officer
Yeah.............they will Love you to death in prison, son!
Submitted by kochier (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my last post was fake yes, and I said I recently became goth, that was after my last picture has been taken, and since I don't have a camera I can't prove it but next time I buy a disposable I'll take bunch of pics of me and put em up
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-14 21:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This seems highly unlikely. Maybe it's the fact that your uberdirectory picture is about the least goth-thing I've ever seen, or that a nine-year-old out-toked you, or that in your last post you were apparently a black man teaching English in Japan while dodging multiple attempts at anal penetration from children.
I just don't know what to believe anymore...but I'll give you a solid benefit-of-the-doubt 0.