The Guilt Poem (1264 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 0.73 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sarah Prejean <derivablezero.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-15 00:15:18 EDT
I knew this fat guy
who came into my work
every day for two years.
Two years of burger king
every day for dinner at five thirty.
His jowls were the butts
of my jokes in the yellowed stockroom
where we drank soda and laughed
about odd customers.
Consumers.
In my best fat-guy voice, I'd tell Peter
(the skinny porter dude)
"number two add bacon cheese an extra meat patty king sized with fries"
and Peter would ask me
"What sort of drink would you like, sir?"
and I'd tell Peter
"Whatever ya got diet, them carbs'll kill ya little lady!"
Then we laughed some about the carbs sliding down the fat guy's throat.
One day, there was no fat guy.
Nobody ordered
number two add bacon cheese an extra meat patty king sized with fries and whatever I had diet.
At ten when I punched in
1-3-8
and hit the clock out button on my
little black screen
I realized no one ordered
number two add bacon cheese an extra meat patty king sized with fries and whatever I had diet
yesterday either,
and today I made fun of a skinny girl.
I hopped in my little car
to get some fuel and change.
12 point 49 for the gas
25 cents for the paper.
The back of
the front page had OBITUARIES
staring at me in bold newspaper letters
proudly announcing Tuesday's dead.
beneath the heading was a picture of a fat guy who always ordered
number two add bacon cheese an extra meat patty king sized with fries and whatever I had diet.
and had four kids, two parents, and a wife.
His jowls glared at my ignorance.
Sobbing, I said to that fat picture
"those carbs'll kill ya fat man."
User Reviews
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-04-16 10:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sarah, you do good work yet again,
sorry I am so slow getting back to you-
I had a party to plan and my roomate rented a gorilla suite
(the pics will be up sooner then later,prob)
I don't have AIM, and sadly don't really know what it is-
I am barley able to type, and definatly can't spell...
thanks-and keep writing.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-15 13:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2005-04-15 12:53:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sarah is the kinda chick who hated my shit back in school and make no mistake.
She wore round glasses and hung with people from the English department; she would offer
people tea when they came to visit. She liked Duran Duran, but wouldn't admit it.
And she would never forgive me for that time we were supposed to meet and talk about
our "Human Evolution and the Pre-History of Civilization" group project, and I showed up late and
bleeding.
But then she wrote something crazy sweet to me on a bar napkin during a girls night out; talked about her "feelings," whatever those are, right?
How long after 8th grade did it take her to throw away that school folder with the unicorn
on it that held all her poetry? Did she ever?
_____
+2 for the post and +2 for this comment...I love Sarah and Duran Duran...
Submitted by dreadnaught_X (user info) at 2005-04-15 12:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. I suck at writing poems, so anyone who has any talent for them automatically gets a +2
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2005-04-15 12:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sarah is the kinda chick who hated my shit back in school and make no mistake.
She wore round glasses and hung with people from the English department; she would offer
people tea when they came to visit. She liked Duran Duran, but wouldn't admit it.
And she would never forgive me for that time we were supposed to meet and talk about
our "Human Evolution and the Pre-History of Civilization" group project, and I showed up late and
bleeding.
But then she wrote something crazy sweet to me on a bar napkin during a girls night out; talked about her "feelings," whatever those are, right?
How long after 8th grade did it take her to throw away that school folder with the unicorn
on it that held all her poetry? Did she ever?
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-15 12:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-15 00:18:47 (#)
Ranking: -1
Reading this was like falling down and scraping my penis
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-04-15 11:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-04-15 11:29:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-04-15 11:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You should be feeling more guilty for writing this.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-04-15 11:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-15 09:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than most poems
Submitted by Sarcasticus (user info) at 2005-04-15 07:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh...
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-04-15 06:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when people order diet drinks with their fast food.
makes me laugh.
this is making me want burgerking.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-04-15 06:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-15 01:03:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what, for poetry this was pretty good. Doesn't deserve such a low rating.
- - -
I had to think about it for a while. It's like that Black and white Flonase commercial with that hot 30's style girl visiting the PI. I didn't like it at first but I couldn't get her off my mind. Anyway, this was like her, unusual and too cool to ignore. +
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-04-15 05:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I kinda liked this
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-04-15 05:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bizarre.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-15 04:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-15 03:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-15 01:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think it does.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-15 01:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what, for poetry this was pretty good. Doesn't deserve such a low rating.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-15 01:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-15 00:31:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope it was fat tony
=============
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-15 00:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This alter isn't funny.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-04-15 00:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-04-15 00:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope it was fat tony
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-15 00:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I struggled through that. I'm not dissing poetry, because sometimes it's good. But this sucked. Pooetry.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-15 00:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Reading this was like falling down and scraping my knee