When Do You Become Old? (1616 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.77 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Manicmother (View user info) at 2005-04-16 11:40:33 EDT
If you're under the mid 20's in age just give me the damn -2 DIE and go do something else.
Your crappy comebacks about this post are nothing to me. I just had to get this off my chest.
What is age? A chronological fact like rings on trees? A state of mind where you're only "as old as you feel"? Is it when you finally reach out from the protective umbrella of mommy, or college? Possibly it's the feeling of getting up for the millionth time to go about the rut you'll be stuck in for the next 20 or 30 years. Maybe....
I could go on and on and on, the point is that it's different for everyone depending on their lifestyle and views on the world at large. I have been given shit lately about some of my reviews stating that I miss my youth. How could I be old at 28? Easy.....children, particularly mine.
I have fulfilled my duties as a functioning biological creature on this planet. I have procreated, passed on my genetic material to further our species. Woo fucking Hoo. Now I can struggle to teach my girls about how beautiful the world is and how horrific humanity is becoming.
Most of you are so far from this point you'll sit here and read this and give me a "boo hoo, quit your bitching if you can't keep your legs closed" Yeah, I can almost see the review now, created by some young punk sitting in front of the computer mommy and daddy gave HIM ( and of course it will be a guy) as he tries to ward off the hangover from the mass quantities of liquor he injested before he stummbled back to his dorm. Keeping your legs closed, HA. The guys can have whatever fun they want but god forbid a WOMAN actually enjoys sex and is keen to have it with a MAN who knows what he's doing. God forbid they do it regularly over a 9 year period and end up with two kids, despite the use of varying contraceptives. It happens and then you you learn that you're not so young anymore.
I have made the realization that having children DOES make you old for what ever age you may actually be at that time. The party is over. It starts with sleep deprivation as you get up 2, 3, or even 4 times a night to feed the little chowhounds. It moves on to your care of them over the days, schedules for appointments, feedings, social time, nap time. You couple it with housework when you can; laundry, vacuuming, general cleaning, yard work. Just what ever you can fit in when you're not helping your precious child learn to speak, walk and learn about life. Some women go back to work right away and have the stress of "Am I spending enough time with them? Will they call the daycare worker mommy?" on top of the listed actions above.
After awhile, you may have another. Differing schedules, foods, needs. The older one soon hits preschool. BONUS a whole 2 hours to yourself where the younger one sleeps and you tackle the jobs you've been putting off, scrubbing down all the walls, the endless laundry, the seasonal changing of the dressers. Oh yeah that's a fun one. The winter clothes come out of the 18 month old's dresser and the clothes from the previous summer from the older one go in. Older one's clothes come out, sorted for the younger one next year, and the new ones go in. This process takes anywhere from 3 days with a concerted effort, to a week or more with the lovely " well it's still kind of cool, so some sweaters stay, but it's getting hotter during the day so the shorts and t-shirts have to come out" as you filter each piece of clothing for their uses in wonderful Great Lakes area Springs.
Nobody wants to here this, nobody cares. Take it as a warning of what's to come, a rant, or a reason not to have kids, whatever. They are fulfilling in some ways. They are adorable. They do and say cute things. You try not to let the world make them as jaded towards life as it has made you. You wake up one morning and realize you don't exist as a person anymore. There is no personal time. The friends fade away because their still in search of MR. or MS. right and the bar scene is calling them. They ask you out for a while but you repeatedly turn them down because who wants to get up at 7am with the kids when you closed the bar last night at 2. Soon you're by yourself with your overworked spouse, hyperactive kids and have lost everything about you that made you who you were. Your parents? Forget about it, they take them when it's convient for them. Unless you have GREAT parents they tell you this is the way it is and go off on a tangent about how much worse it was for them.
So what do you do when the snows piled high? The kids are still too young to spend more than a half an hour in it and it takes that long to get them ready for it. What do you do when the only adults you speak to are your mother, his mother and HIM when he get's home from a 13 hour day.
You get bored and you start to fish around on the internet for something to do in the few spare seconds you've got between children and laundry. You find a site where you can almost be yourself again, although posting is a problem because you like to try and write more than total and utter bullshit which takes time. < on a side note I have found that posting crap is therapedic sometimes> You go on and listen to the stories of kids still in the prime of their parting years. The stories of convention parties you'll never get to, weekend trips, road trips, general debautchery that will never again come calling at your door. You feel comfortable with these people that you'll never know.....
But, inside, you KNOW none of it will never happen to you again in the suburban hell of domestication. THAT is what makes you feel OLD ,my friends. The knowledge that your years of freedom are dead and gone. You see it in the ashes of your dreams, unfullfilled because you don't have time. You hear it in the cold shrill screams of two children fighting over the same damn toy. You know it in your heart as it's eaten away by the guilt for wanting one last adventure when you're supposed to have everything you've needed HERE with THEM. This is why I feel older than my 28 years. This is why I sit here and read of the adventures of the young and utterly reckless.
Because maybe, just maybe, I can see myself, in what seems like a hundred years ago, doing the same things.
Redwoods are about as old as you can get. I'll bet they've seen some REAL parties.
User Reviews
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-01-05 14:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some day your children will read this.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2007-01-05 14:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
boo hoo, quit your bitching if you can't keep your legs closed
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2007-01-02 21:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is pretty depressing, yet spot on the money. Personally I just allow myself to do anything i want to. Of course, I can't do it as often, but if I want to go out and get drunk or some other youthful endeavour, I just do. Having an open relationship also helps this a bit, you should try it.
Submitted by Obscured_by_Clouds (user info) at 2005-08-25 23:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmm...incapacitating.
-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
35, feel very young (and like to date young), in the best shape of my life...almost.
Age is just a number that will be forgotten...as soon as my alzhimers kicks in
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-27 17:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't really offer you all that much advice as none of this is really applicable to me.
All I can say is that it appears that you need to find a healthy balance between family life and social life. I understand that having little munchkins running around must be extremely time consuming and energy absorbing, but if you really wanted to do the things you say you do, then you would be taking steps to make that happen.
Keep a positive outlook, make sure that you don't turn around when you get older and regret all the things that you wanted to do but never got around to.
Good luck and feel free to email me sphagnum.at.antisocial.com as I don't think I'll be hanging around AS much, now that I have seen how the system here really works. No WTH = No fun.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-04-20 04:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
But hey, I'm 33 and I feel young.. I haven't got children though so differing situation. I work hard, play hard and generally enjoy myself.
The benefits of of being older than the people younger than you is that you are the same. Just you have more experience. The odd laughter line... hey life just gets better as you understnad it and yourself.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-04-20 04:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I woke up last week and realised that the last ten years has finally caught up with my face. I've got slight wrinkles showing on my eyes and my hair is going grey.
I'd like to say it makes me look distinguished, but I know it doesn't.
Although this depressed me a little, I completely understand why you wrote it.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-20 04:29:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit Babe iv'e had eight mid life crisis allready,want a bit of wisdom to help you along ,you think too much! stop it and just be thankfull for what you have and have not.
Submitted by magic_flounder (user info) at 2005-04-20 04:13:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think you've confused age with freedom-to-be-me. I'm 32 with two kids and it's never stopped me from being me. Sure I can't just dash out to a party or stay up until 4am getting wasted every night but there are nights when I can.
Like me you chose to have children and with having children comes less freedom. You're not old and when they're grown enough to be left with a sitter you'll still not be too old to go out and have fun.
I think you just reached the resentment stage, it goes away eventually. You're still being YOU, you found time to have a few beers and a good old rant about it all (which is a "good thing"). It means you're finding the time to have a vent to people who do understand and not at your time-stealers who don't. I'd say you're just being a normal parent. We all feel like this sometimes.
(And thanks, I was waiting for a good opportunity to make a first post, I'm glad you inspired me to do so.)
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-20 03:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
28 isn't old.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-20 03:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I am also 28, although I don't have kids.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-19 19:16:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 to piss off EscapeArtist
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-04-19 01:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im 44 and ill be damned before i get old.
Good post id like to meet you and get bent with you.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-04-18 19:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:23:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
You get old when you look at a bottle of absolute and say "Nah, It will take three fucking days to recover"
================
Shit....
But in all seriousness - you need to get laid more often. Good sex can cure anything. Make it happen often enough, there's nothing to cure. Voila!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-18 18:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-04-16 14:38:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your age doesn't matter in the least to whether you're old or not. The worst thing you can do is start acting geriatric just because you think you've filled your biological edicts in this world. It really is true that you're only as old as you feel.
I'm prone to crack jokes around my friends about my being old, but only because most all of them are younger than me. I'm not thrilled that I can remember Ronald Reagan being elected in 1980, but I can watch 80's music videos and laugh my ass off because I was stupid enough to buy into the atrocious trends and fads that went on then.
____
dude, I can remember Richard Nixon getting elected in 1972...and I don't feel old. My body doesn't do all it used to, and I can't stay up all night anymore and hit the the bricks in the a.m., but you gotta keep it real mentally
Manic, use your intellect to keep you young, forget about the physical constraints you have to deal with, journey with your mind....
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-04-18 13:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow man
that was really really good
wow
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post kiddo... cheer up though, it will get better!
and this post needed more tits, yours preferably.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-04-18 02:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When do you become old? Well when you become grey of course.
*sigh...*
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-18 02:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-18 02:01:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
let it fly, sista. Vent on!
Submitted by PoloboiGC (user info) at 2005-04-17 20:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yep kids are a bitch.
They will age you faster than working in a smoke mine and getting the black lung.
I would rather have the black lung over kids.. fuckkkkk that.....
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2005-04-17 17:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
" If you're under the mid 20's in age just give me the damn -2 DIE and go do something else."
i'm in that group, and old, but i'm not reading this
still,
0 - LIVE!
Submitted by J4M3S (user info) at 2005-04-17 00:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The main thing is to not loose sight
of yourself as an individual.
Sometimes you just have to say enough,
and take some time out for you.
Oh, and give the kids chores as
young as possible. It lightens your
work load, allows you more time,
and teaches them how to fend for
themselves. The worst thing a
parent can do is "do everything" for their
kids to the point that they can't look after
themselves.
You are not a slave, don't act
like one.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-16 22:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy hits the nail on the head.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-16 22:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm 45 and still cooler than fucking Hollywood.
Age is a number. You're just depressed about how your life has turned out.
One 20 minute session with Shlongy and I'll have you swinging from the chandeliers, whistling a happy tune, and adding some color to your crystal meth-ridden looking cheeks in no time.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My dad's 55 and still hasn't had his mid-life crisis yet.
I just hope it happens soon, so I can have his old car, dammit.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
George Costanza:
"God, I'd love a kid."
<pause>
"Of course, you gotta have a date first."
And this was interesting. Great to know there's so much left in life to look forward to...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Early mid-life crisis?
I'm older than you are.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You get old when you look at a bottle of absolute and say "Nah, It will take three fucking days to recover"
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grow a garden.
Submitted by Vanni_Fresco (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, one more thing. My father, who is awesome, always said, "The day you stop learning things is the day you grow old."
I quite like that.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I have been given shit lately about some of my reviews stating that I miss my youth. How could I be old at 28?"
Hey, you talking about me? I wasn't giving you shit exactly...but you talk sometimes like your youthful days are long behind you, and they're not. Sure, you're kind of handicapped by needing to provide care for your kids, but that doesn't mean you'd be out of place at a bar or say, in a paintball game.
I don't really want kids. I got no time for that. All my friends are starting to spurt out babies. It disconcerts me. "I remember when you came home drunk and put one of your girlfriend's (now wifes) tampons in your ass. That was only five years ago and now you have a child." That's not right.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-04-16 14:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amazing picture, by the way.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-04-16 14:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your age doesn't matter in the least to whether you're old or not. The worst thing you can do is start acting geriatric just because you think you've filled your biological edicts in this world. It really is true that you're only as old as you feel.
I'm prone to crack jokes around my friends about my being old, but only because most all of them are younger than me. I'm not thrilled that I can remember Ronald Reagan being elected in 1980, but I can watch 80's music videos and laugh my ass off because I was stupid enough to buy into the atrocious trends and fads that went on then.
You just need some of that good "you" time. I'm sure it's not easy to find, but if you really want it, you'll find a way. Reading your posts sometimes makes me wonder what's at the root of this dark cloud that creeps over you from time to time. Keep your head high, dear.
(Hmm... Long-winded, friendly and had an 80's reference. Maybe I AM getting old.) ;)
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-04-16 13:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no inspirational pearls of wisdom. I can, however, tell you that I am in desperate need of a haircut.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-16 13:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, i'd like to cut you in half and count your rings, if you know what i mean.
wait...
Submitted by choc_bongo (user info) at 2005-04-16 13:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and +2 for Ethan being the 'tard that he is
Submitted by choc_bongo (user info) at 2005-04-16 13:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry - that was meant to be a +2 - hang in there
Submitted by choc_bongo (user info) at 2005-04-16 12:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Manic
OK, I've sort of accepted that fact that I became old(ish) - didn't see it coming - one day I just kinda woke up and had two kids and a mortgage. I love my two girls to death and enjoy every waking moment I can spend with them. Yeah I miss the times when I could go to parties/clubs/concerts/anything-not-related-to-parenthood, but I accept the fact I have to pick my moments. Kids were bathed/hair brushed/teeth brushed/in bed/asleep at 8 pm. - I'm posting this at 2:05 am on a Saturday night which kind of says a lot. I did lots of domestic stuff (ironing, washing,dishes) for the last three hours, and I'll probably go to bed in an hour or so. Yeah, I'm drinking beer as I write this - again, picking my moments.
I recently went through a major MIDLIFE-CRISIS. Stopped the car on the way home from work and thought to myself - if I don't go home, what's the worst that would happen. 45 minutes of really serious thinking later, I went home.
My opinion (and it is just mine: YOU have to make up your own mind), was that I could really live without the crap I'd been missing - the crap I dealt with at home on a daily basis was better.
Hey - My just two cents worth
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-04-16 12:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good rant. It's really made me think and reconsider things.
I've been getting to know a girl I went to HS with in recent months. She's a single mom with a 4 yr. old and an 18 month old. I've toyed with starting a relationship with her. I've thought "Even though they're not my kids it wouldn't be so bad..." But what you've made me realize is that there would be no possibility of me traveling like I want to with my wife until they're both grown up.
Thanks for the unintentional reality check.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-04-16 12:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
boo frickin' hoo, you shoulda kept your legs shut.
Submitted by madmadunic (user info) at 2005-04-16 12:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh yeah, I forgot: -2
Submitted by madmadunic (user info) at 2005-04-16 12:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes, lonely housewives need to fuck a whole lot of strange men instead of posting their problems on an internet forum to ease their boredom.
And by the way, the trees have the rings to correspond with the years from the growth seasons. You are defined in age by the amount of times the earth revolves around the sun like they are, so don't fucking act all cocky like you are only as old as you feel, because you are a stank bitch who needs to shut up.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-04-16 11:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes, posting brings you peace.