The Bitch Had It Coming! (19650 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.24 on 101 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bart Cilfone <uberuser.at.cilfone.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-16 15:42:03 EDT
I was just sitting here at the computer after having written a comment on my last post (http://www.ubersite.com/m/64399#1271867) and there was a buzz at the door. I live on the second floor of a three story building, so we have a security door downstairs that has buzzers outside.
I hit the button to let whoever in and then was waiting inside by my door to see who came in. Nobody showed up at my door, but I heard some knocking downstairs and was concerned that I had let in one of the kids who accosts people, trying to sell them M&M's to sponsor his basketball team.
So, I figure I should go kick this person out of the building. I put on some jeans and shoes to go downstairs. No socks. No shirt. Very classy.
I get downstairs and through the glass on the door, I see two Chicago police officers outside. I thought to myself, "Holy shit, they know about the money!" and for no good reason considered turning and running. Bart Cilfone: escaped fugitive. I picture an episode of COPS with these two dragging me into the street with no shirt and going to town with a night stick while I swing back and yell about how "The Bitch Had It Coming!".
As it turns out they were trying to get to the place downstairs.
The bitch still has it coming.
User Reviews
Submitted by Tanatic (user info) at 2008-01-14 09:42:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-25 22:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-29 23:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sepsis (user info) at 2006-08-29 19:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this post got alot of hits
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-05-27 10:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Underdog (user info) at 2006-05-10 03:59:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you ever like.... just.... think maybe... people like you and so give you good reviews no matter wtf it is you've written.....? maybe......?
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Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2006-01-22 03:49:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
gayer than john mayers cock.
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Doesn't really look like it does it Underdog?
Submitted by The_Underdog (user info) at 2006-05-10 03:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you ever like.... just.... think maybe... people like you and so give you good reviews no matter wtf it is you've written.....? maybe......?
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2006-01-22 03:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
gayer than john mayers cock.
Submitted by HighFructoseCornSyrup (user info) at 2005-10-24 19:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-09-26 10:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, this bitch had it coming >>>> http://www.ubersite.com/m/75879
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2005-09-17 12:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart After Dark
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-09-15 14:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for removing CookieLass' post with my info on it.
I didn't think you'd actually take it down.
mad props, yo.
Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2005-09-06 20:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, I just felt left out...
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-09-03 00:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ass-licking, dick-sucking +2.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-08-31 14:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
UNBAN RANDOM JOE!!!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-27 15:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations on your 800 000th hit!
You better do a celebration post when you get to 1 000 000.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-08-22 14:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What???? Two posts in one day!!! STFU N00b!
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2005-08-22 14:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"So, I figure I should go kick this person out of the building. I put on some jeans and shoes to go downstairs. No socks. No shirt. Very classy. "
So from what I can gather you were just kicking in your skivies or were you commando?
From where I come from, we where clothes unless we are sleeping.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-14 23:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for the post
+1 for generating this hilarious comment http://www.ubersite.com/m/64414#1271881
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-08-11 16:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I can not figure out why this post has a positive rating. I just can't. I don't know. Hmm.
Submitted by fallenangel (user info) at 2005-08-03 04:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-08-03 03:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why don't you post more often Bart Bart?
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-08-01 11:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
punk
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-08-01 10:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not sure if I ever rated this, so I will now...
I miss you BartBart, March was such a long time ago...
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-07-15 22:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you need to post more
i like your writing
Submitted by madsam31 (user info) at 2005-07-14 06:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im gonna break the 0 rating :)
Submitted by ScoobyDont (user info) at 2005-07-10 00:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh Bart, you will always be my sweet little guy.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-06-29 00:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can you make an official statement on how HEAT is calculated already? It's been 10 months and I still don't know.
Submitted by Darth_Adwain (user info) at 2005-06-28 12:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by aprilfools (user info) at 2005-04-17 02:02:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
Gee...I wonder why this is positively rated?
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-06-28 02:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what an accomplishment to hold a nice 0 rating (it is zero at the time of this post) with 73 reviews!
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2005-06-26 20:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Right on par with my work on ubersite!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-06-25 22:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What did you ever do for Ubersite?
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-06-13 07:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ouch.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-06-09 02:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-02 20:42:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
can't believe I missed this masterpiece
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-09 02:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for taking away the ratings of that fella who nuked me.
You're a good man Bortbort. A good man.
Here's my sacrificial offering of a +2, and I'll see if I can find a virgin covered in goat's blood while I'm at it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-02 20:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
can't believe I missed this masterpiece
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-02 20:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I evolve a vagina, let's get married.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-06-02 19:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, just wow. The asskissing here is the best I've ever seen.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-27 08:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for changing my Ubermadness entry post.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-05-24 00:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"The bitch still has it coming."
Dude, seriously, keep it to yourself.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-24 00:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-05-21 02:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good to know that the police need to get buzzed in by some random resident or else they can't respond to an emergency.
Submitted by Gnat (user info) at 2005-05-21 02:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're funny :)
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-18 14:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks. And again, sorry.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-05-08 13:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you feeling OK lately? Can't help it, it made me +1 smile to picture you topless.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-05-08 02:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-05-07 16:40:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Nobody cares what you think.
Thanks for playing.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-05-08 02:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-05-07 16:40:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Nobody cares what you think.
Thanks for playing.
*****
There's a recipe for suicide on the shelf behind you, cleverly labeled as a hack-saw.
Submitted by ToxicNarcotic (user info) at 2005-05-08 00:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-05-07 17:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow bart bart, you're such a hard ass.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-05 02:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who keeps sending me E-mail from the 13th Floor?
oops,
wrong person
wrong place
sorry B man
<hangs head very low>
<and breaks fingers on both hands>
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-04-30 23:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I voted for Kerry..........
I am a Cubs Fan...........
I like Dave Matthews(s.p.?)..................
I am Bart!!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-04-29 04:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-04-29 00:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for 3 story building... That will eliminate many places to look for you when I hunt you down and kill you like a dog in the street.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-04-26 09:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MarthaStewart (user info) at 2005-04-18 01:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
adding a pastel scarf to your no shirt-no socks look will liven up
your outfit!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-18 01:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
what the shit is that?
http://hedgehogcentral.com/otherpets.shtml
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAAAA.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought it was funny
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mxc_jwebber (user info) at 2005-04-17 03:56:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:45:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
1 post a day noob
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Either this was a real bad attempt at a joke or this guys is a tard.
-----------------------
I found his joke amusing.
Submitted by notoriousbrett (user info) at 2005-04-17 18:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
my hangover kicks more ass than this post
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-17 18:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This site has now officially gone to shit
Submitted by mxc_jwebber (user info) at 2005-04-17 03:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:45:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
1 post a day noob
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Either this was a real bad attempt at a joke or this guys is a tard.
Submitted by aprilfools (user info) at 2005-04-17 02:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gee...I wonder why this is positively rated?
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-04-17 01:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*smirk* You may have set a very disturbing precedent here, what with posting twice in one day. Especially with the second post being one that could have easily been a comment on the first one.
I keed, I keed.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-04-17 00:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submit a message
Use the form below to post a new message that will show up on the front page. If you are trying to comment on an existing post (aka. reply or rate), go back to that post and click the link that says "Rate this item". Thanks. You rock.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-17 00:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There are a most dubious lot of super Brown noses.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-04-16 23:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gimme mah hits.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-16 23:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Where did that come from?
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-16 23:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
...
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-16 23:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:45:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
1 post a day noob
==================
You still owe me that blowjob you never finished. Get back over here.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-16 23:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Damn, look at all the "hits" already.
It's good to be King.......huh Bart.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-16 22:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, you neutralized your last post with this peice of shit.
Is this really bart, or did you kill him, stuff him in the freezer- a very large freezer- and hop on his computer to post this horseshit?
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-04-16 21:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S SO PERFECT!!!!!!
It's not that this is terribly interesting or informative. It's just that you didn't have a shirt on and you were about to turn tail and run from the cops!!!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-16 21:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Scatter! It's the Feds!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-16 21:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for shared misery. I too have a downstairs neighbor I despise.
+1 for a post inspiring that only funny comment I've seen from this douche.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64414#1271885
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-04-16 21:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried to put a cigarette out in my palm. I only got it half out, then I felt the pain through the booze induced invincibility. I now have a mark on my hand. And we all know chicks dig scars so I'm gonna go show it off and get laid.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who's Bart Cilfone?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy crap!
Bart actually posted.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fix my hits or I shall fixiate my wrath upon your eternally damned soul!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Bah, totally unclear, you could have at least linked to your last post so people who hadn't read it knew what you were on about.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-16 20:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, say no more.
I feel you on the dead hooker and cock.
I mean coke.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-16 19:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, it's a Saturday afternoon, the cops are knocking on the door outside, and I have three thousand dollars in cash sitting on the table.
Wouldn't that weird you out a bit?
Especially if you also had a dead hooker and a half used bag of cocaine on the living room floor?
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-04-16 19:42:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I just think it would be interested for Bart to get a negatively rated post now.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-16 19:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63765
SEE!? I was right! Bart Cilfone: Fugitive of Justice.
Tommy Lee Jones is on his way to Chicago as we speak, and he's bringing Joey Pants with him.
JOEY PANTS!!!!
You'd better run, El Barto.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-16 19:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is this?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-16 19:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So is this your way of coming clean and admitting that you really got the money by pimping out 9 year old boys to catholic priests? Cause otherwise why would you think of running?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-16 19:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and
musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called `City
Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about
`What's to be done with this Homer Simpson"'
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Rival
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-16 17:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:59:37 (#)
Ranking: 1
black bart, you are the lego i never played with.
you had a very incriminating mustache.
--------------------------------------------------
haha. this could've been better.
pffff...these crazy n00bs
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-04-16 17:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Guess you had to be there. You've done much better than this.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-04-16 17:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-04-16 17:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
umm...how would the cops be after you? everything was legal.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-16 17:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no comment.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-16 17:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"when I go to bed at night, its nice to know that cops make other people think they are a badass."
Stop it, you're making baby jesus cry.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is it on Cops, that every single guy the police end chasing and tackling, is wearing no shirt?
I sometimes think this show is being scripted or something...
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
w00!
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not bad, but I would still rather go cut my grass....with scissors.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
she had it coming! she had it coming! she only had herself to blame. if you coulda seen it, if you coulda been there, you tell me you wouldn't have done the same.
Submitted by gtz (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
when I go to bed at night, its nice to know that cops make other people think they are a badass.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-16 16:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate to tell you this, buddy, but if you post more than once per day, your first post gets knocked off the front page.
Just thought I'd let you know...
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
black bart, you are the lego i never played with.
you had a very incriminating mustache.
Submitted by madmadunic (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good to see I'm not the only one that reviews submissions naked with my penis and balls touching the chair.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1 post a day noob