Don't fuck with me now, man, I am Ahab. (1012 hits)
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Submitted by Inquisitve Nugget (View user info) at 2005-04-17 22:25:14 EDT
No matter how close someone is to someone else, there are always barriers for privacy- both real and imagined.
Of course this is all coming at you from the American PERSPECTIVE, because it really isn't the same everywhere, but you knew that, and now I'm being redundant in clearing that up, right?
We all have personal space allotments. The average "comfortable" distance is from 1.5 feet to 4 feet. If someone we aren't intimate with stands closer than 1.5 feet from us our stress levels go up, and we get nervous and uncomfortable.
That's common knowledge though, right? It's been studied, documented, written about, blah blah blah...
But something new struck me today.
Can I start from the begining (of sorts)?
There are two fundemental types of homes. The first is the Family house. The door is always unlocked. The close family and friends walk into this house without knocking or calling ahead. Neighbors and aquaintences stop by without notice, but do polietly knock before entering.
Then there is the Offspring house. Usually inhabited by a single person or a young couple (maybe even with a few young children). Everyone calls before coming to the Offspring house. Everyone knocks before entering, and even if they didn't, they'd not be surprised to find the door locked nearly all the time.
I used to live in an Offspring house. It was mine. I could walk around naked if I so chose (which I often did!), leave it as messy as I desired, and do as I pleased. I knew I would never have unexpected guests.
Now I live in a Family house. To be specific- my moms house. Of course my mom has a key, and of course I have a key, as does my sister, as does her ex-husband, as does her fiancee. There are a handfull of close friends that will come over whenever they chose. As I've eluded to earlier, they don't knock, nor are they expected to knock. There are neighbors who'll tap on the door when they need sugar or dog-treats.
At any given time, there could (and often is) be people milling about this house.
Normally people will sit in the kitchen and chat over cold beers and hot-tipped cigarettes. Sometimes they wander into the office and check the weather or email on the computer. Once in a while they sit in the armchair and watch Oprah.
But they never go into the bedrooms.
Never.
The point of all of this is soon to come, don't worry your festering little minds.
After putzing around all day, painting more walls, doing laundry, and otherwise wasting time, I decided to lay in bed and read a bit of The Thurber Carnival (Shandy recommended it, and who DOESN'T jump when he says jump, etc??). It was still light out, and I had the shades drawn up, window open. I lay on top of my covers, leaning against the headboard of the bed.
I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
There were no bras or undies strewn about the room (as there usually is... but I did clean my room today).
I had my computer open and Napster was on... playing a bit of the good ole Johnny Cash stuff.
The door was wide open.
This is when I heard a car pull into the drive. I set my book down, and greeted my sister and her family. After socializing for 10 minutes, I retreated back to my book.
My sisters fiancee came to the door of my room. He teetered on the threshold, "Do you ever watch Best of the Week?"
I set my book down on my lap, "No?". He continued to tell me about a program he watched last night, the whole time standing precariously outside of the bedroom.
Then my sister came back, also making it a point not to actually come IN to the room. She shared bits of her day with me as I sat on my bed, ackward, not listening to either of them, just focused on how obsurd it is that they wouldnt come into my room.
Eventually they both walked away. Mom came down the hall a bit later.
"What's that?" she looked in my room and pointed just above the window.
"Oh, I painted a little". From her safe vantage point on the green hallway carpet she commented on my painting. (she doesn't like it, but that's not the point of this)
My nephew runs down the hallway, and comes to a screetching halt just outside of my room. He looks in, a bit quizically.
"Dude, you can come in here" I say. He runs into the room, hops on the bed, hugs me, and talks about his day.
Just a few months ago this room was my sisters old room. It was the room she occupied for the first 18 years of her life. After she moved out it became the "guest" room. A room totally impersonalized and sterile.
But now it's my room, and it feels as if it has become part of me.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
durae, you still have to give me your flight info.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-04-18 18:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't actually read this when I commented, but it's a really good point. It's like a territorial issue or something.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-04-18 12:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the title.
That's it.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ubergirl, if you count the two times I was there for three month stints, I HAVE lived in the middle east.
But I suppose it's not "lived" more like "Stayed too long".
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post!
Submitted by UberGirl (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahabs live in the middle east and ride camels.
Do you live in the middle east?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Durae... yay! I'll meet you there. We should probably just have lunch somewhere in the airport, right? The Detroit airport sucks, by the way. But it will be fun because it's you and me!!!
YAY YAY YAY
I LOVE DURAE
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shandy- I'm still near the begining. You see, I ordered a few books at once, and the first one I opened was "Slaughterhouse Five" by Vonugget. It was an interesting book.
TC is veryyyy amusing. I particularly like the story about the woman on 142... It is the first story in the book. I definatly identified with the dialogue.
But, the main point of THIS post... the fact that people will wander about this house as if it were there own, yet they are uncomfortable coming into my room, even though it is as welcoming as a bedroom can be.
WHY OH WHY? Maybe I should put some chairs and a coffee table in here instead of this uncomfortable bed.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-04-18 08:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting observation in a real world sort of way - it's cool how your mind works
We have an ancestral home. It's funny because I never lived there unless you count being shipped off to the farm for a few weeks every summer and yet even I call it "home". When we say, "are you going home for Thanksgiving" we don't mean my parent's house, we mean the farm. Hell we left Texas when I was three and yet it's still "home". They never lock the place either. The neighbors might need something or someone may show up unannounced and it would be just rude if the door was locked. It's kind of nice to think that no matter how badly I fuck up my life, there is still somewhere out there I can call home and people who will feed me. Sure, they'll put me to work mucking the stalls, but they would feed me.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-04-18 07:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(Shandy recommended it, and who DOESN'T jump when he says jump, etc??).
so very true. it's just a responsibility i have to shoulder
how is the TC going? did i tell you to find the short story about the night the bed fell on father?
or the one about rex the airedale?
or the drawing where the woman asks "have you got any bullets?"
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-04-18 06:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me and my girlfriend have conversations like that all the time, our minds are full of kinds of wierd. Good work :o)
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-18 06:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://hedgehogcentral.com/otherpets.shtml
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-18 04:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these little observations.
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-04-18 03:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-04-18 02:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your musings.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2005-04-18 01:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Between 11am and 1:30pm on Wednesday yo. WOOOOO!!!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-18 01:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe that bitch is here.
Submitted by MarthaStewart (user info) at 2005-04-18 00:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Putting some lace curtains around your window will create
a "comfotable home" effect.
I suggest a light blue.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-04-17 23:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
call me ishmael
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and check THIS out
http://www.dushkin.com/connectext/psy/ch15/asch.mhtml
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The point is this--
Find a dick and fuck it.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Growing up my house was a "family house". With four children there were
always friends coming in and out. Now that we are all older the friends
we still have still help themselves to our fridge and even bring
their kids and/or significant others. Someone always has
someone over.
My brother is still friends with kids he knew in elementary
school. I knew these kids since they were 6 or 7. Now they
friggin have kids.
I have no idea what the point to this is.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the HST quote in the title. rock on.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH, by the way, I made up that whole "family" house and "offspring" house terminology... I'm positive there is a REAL phrase for them, but fuck me, I'm not going to look it up.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-17 22:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shut up and fuck me.