Strange Men Who Have Tried To Get Into My Pants: Episode VI – Mr. S (1546 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.4 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Pentameter? (View user info) at 2005-04-18 09:29:20 EDT
Mr. S was your typical former professional athlete. We had an intimate affair for a while with crazy sex between him, his blonde wife, and some strange Jewish guy with ugly sunglasses. Some odd long-haired freaky guy that claimed to be the butler like to join in as well.
Although he was very violent, he was quite the gentleman about it. He would only give me bruises in places I could cover up with my clothing. He only stabbed me once, I think he was jealous of that Jewish guy and sometimes even the butler. When we weren't having sex, we were partying like mad. It was a rowdy good time with all kinds of kinky sex and bottles of booze. He would get drunk and try to drown his wife in the pool and club various things in the house with his football trophy. He sure knew how to have a good time!
One day he jumped in his white truck and drove away. Apparently, he like to get drunk, beat his wife, and fist young girls with leather gloves a little too much. I guess it tears apart a man's soul when you can't get enough fisting. I guess his wife and the Jewish guy had an accident with some knives when they were cooking dinner and ended up dead, they made fabulous pork roasts.
I remember Mr. S spent a lot of time in court trying to determine how his wife and friend died, but never found the answers. He still calls me every once in awhile, but I know it just wouldn't be the same without the whole gang. I guess he's still looking for the killers, and some more fisting.
User Reviews
Submitted by compEngineer0 (user info) at 2006-08-10 09:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-07-27 10:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA! FUCKING OJ!
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-05-28 03:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is Spooky.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-27 08:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67137#1348453
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-05-10 12:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-05-09 04:10:59 (#)
Ranking: +2
posting with other peoples name is fucking awesome/great/hysterical.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-10 10:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shit
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-10 10:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't ever +2 one of my posts unless you want a -2 from stupid.
She thinks this is some great war and a +2 for me is like killing a baby.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-09 04:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh boy, ya got me!
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-05-09 04:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
posting with other peoples name is fucking lame.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zing Mother Fucker, Zing...
Submitted by Hands_Rambone (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better ban him bart.
We don't want people using other peoples usernames.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very cute. Nice tribute post.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<giggle>
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-04-18 11:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
>>>
Chris's lost ass
PO box 000
Eastbumfucker, VT 55555
>>>
It's gotta be tough living in a town called "Eastbumfucker" but not having your ass. I hope someone sends it back soon so you can get back to fitting in with your neighbors.
Submitted by Shizae (user info) at 2005-04-18 10:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by localgov (user info) at 2005-04-18 10:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
blimey!
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did someone say "rowdy good time with all kinds of kinky sex and bottles of booze"? http://www.ubersite.com/m/64461
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA! Solid.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed my ass off too... I mean, it fell right the fuck off, and I'm white so I didn't have much of an ass to begin with.
If anyone finds my ass, please mail it back to me at :
Chris's lost ass
PO box 000
Eastbumfucker, VT 55555
PLEASE HURRY, I need to buy pants and that will be impossible without an ass.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahaha....Awesome tribute to one of the best writers on this site. I'm sure she'll love it.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Imitation is the greatest form of flattery.
Plus, I laughed my ass off.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA <breath> HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHA<cough-cough>BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA <gag> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
This was fucking hillari-ass!!
Good job nigga!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-18 09:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought for sure that Mr. S was going to be Shlongy, not OJ.