What Women Want or how to be a pimp without slapping the shit out of them (1456 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.78 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mario (View user info) at 2005-04-20 09:37:39 EDT
What DO women want? I, for one, couldn't tell you. If someone claims to know, I'd like to hear it. But I do know what they don't want. I read something by Fat Tony the other day on how to "control" women and such, and while a lot of it makes sense, it doesn't mean it's right. I believe there are other ways to keep a woman's attention besides giving her a "fresh one" across the face. A man much wiser and much more experienced than me said it best, and I've taken what he taught me and made a list. He is a very classy guy and women adore him, and since I started adopting his beliefs a couple of years ago I've seen a marked difference in how women respond to me. Ladies (notice I said ladies, not slores)of Uber, I invite you to chime in. Think back to a guy who automatically attracted you and see if he displayed any of the traits below. That average guy that just bore the hell out of you on that first date probably did everything completely opposite to what I've listed here. I've read some of Belle's posts and they also make a lot of sense, but unless you want to wait a long time for a woman to start thinking of settling down and seeing a "nice guy", think about the advice below.
1. Never give a woman a direct answer unless it's "no".
2. Answer questions with questions that implicate her or make her commit to something.
Ie. Her: What are you doing Friday night? Me: Why, what did you have in mind?
3. If she complains or doesn't like something, turn it up and give it back to her.
4. Never give a woman exactly what she asks for.
5. Always send mixed signals. Physically generous and giving, but verbally challenging, making fun.
6. If you have a woman "on", say "you'll make a good friend". Important: she must attracted to you first.
7. Don't be predictable.
8. Don't be boring.
9. Be distinctive. Be unique in a preferential way.
10. Never act apologetic.
11. If you are doing something a woman likes, stop and make her want more. Slowly start doing it again. Timing is crucial here, something you have to pick up through experience.
12. Never let sexual tension go slack, or too tense.
13. Always raise and call her bluff.
14. Once you find a role that's working, stick with it. Ex. Playing the role that she just sees you as a piece of meat etc etc
15. Lead and move forward confidently...be decisive, decide what's going to happen.
16. Don't be a wuss.
These qualities also keep things very interesting in a relationship. And now, here's something for you ladies to flick your bean to, God knows you see enough breasts on here. I'm part of the problem, but won't apologize for it...you know you like them too.
User Reviews
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-05-08 19:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hmmmm
no pimps for me please
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-25 20:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1. Never give a woman a direct answer unless it's "no".
2. Answer questions with questions that implicate her or make her commit to something.
Ie. Her: What are you doing Friday night? Me: Why, what did you have in mind?
3. If she complains or doesn't like something, turn it up and give it back to her.
4. Never give a woman exactly what she asks for.
7. Don't be predictable.
8. Don't be boring.
9. Be distinctive. Be unique in a preferential way.
10. Never act apologetic.
13. Always raise and call her bluff.
15. Lead and move forward confidently...be decisive, decide what's going to happen.
16. Don't be a wuss.
----------------
These describe my father. He must think I'm a woman; I knowif I asked him, he wouldn't give a straight answer.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-25 19:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"that gorgeous women are just people too"
That statement ringed several times in my head during the following events: http://www.ubersite.com/m/64977
This post may have been useful after all :-)
Submitted by TheRocketeer (user info) at 2005-04-20 11:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't know David DeAngelo was a member here.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-04-20 11:15:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
these posts make me happy I'm not in play
that and watching how shitty people treat each other on The Amazing Race show
(is shitty an adverb or should I say shittily?)
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's deep. good shit, man.
GLAL's comment was also good. haha.
hey, it pertains to the situation at hand: http://www.ubersite.com/m/64290
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
from what I know women want only one thing all the time:
purses and other assorted bags to hold things in.
That's how I meet girls. I hold out purses on the street and they take them in exchange for their phone numbers. Works like a charm.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No you SHOULD slap the shit out of them. I just got back from a pimps and hoes party and it was the most socially accepted blatant sexism ive ever had. AWESOME!!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mario, my fellow plumber, I completly understand your point. But these little hints tends to make guys (and that includes me at times) believe that all women are the same and that there is some kind of receipe. So instead of being themselves they end up being insecure dipshits with an attitude.
Not giving a shit about women or what they want or think is a usually a good show of confidence.
It's been working for me recently anyway.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, since you asked, here's the married version:
1. Never give a woman a direct answer unless it's "no".
--Depends on the question. You say no to them, remember to pick up dinner on the way home then because it won't be waiting for you. You say no, forget sex, get used to the sofa. Laundry? Do it yourself.
2. Answer questions with questions that implicate her or make her commit to something.
Ie. Her: What are you doing Friday night? Me: Why, what did you have in mind?
--Don't give her the choice, or you'll be spending a wonderful evening at Aunt Alice's with her.
3. If she complains or doesn't like something, turn it up and give it back to her.
--See #1.
4. Never give a woman exactly what she asks for.
--True. She'll want more the next time - but give her enough to keep her happy.
5. Always send mixed signals. Physically generous and giving, but verbally challenging, making fun.
--Make fun of her in a non-lighthearted way and you can refer yourself to #1.
6. If you have a woman "on", say "you'll make a good friend". Important: she must attracted to you first.
--Doesn't (well, shouldn't) apply if you're married.
7. Don't be predictable.
--True to a point. But if you're unaccounted for for a period of time, you will get accused of doing the worst thing that crosses her mind at that given minute.
8. Don't be boring.
--Only around her. If you're interesting around other people, she'll get jealous - or worse yet, accuse you of flirting.
9. Be distinctive. Be unique in a preferential way.
--Yeah ok. That applies with anything though, not just women.
10. Never act apologetic.
--See #1. If you don't apolpgise, extend the prison sentance. Usually you have to figure out what it is that you did that you need to apologise for.
11. If you are doing something a woman likes, stop and make her want more. Slowly start doing it again. Timing is crucial here, something you have to pick up through experience.
--Chances are that if she likes something that you're doing, you don't. Don't make it a habit, or it will become expected of you to do whatever.
12. Never let sexual tension go slack, or too tense.
--Okay, but it isn't just physical now, like it was back in the old days of bachelorhood.
13. Always raise and call her bluff.
--Agreed. This applies to any situation, not just dealing with women.
14. Once you find a role that's working, stick with it. Ex. Playing the role that she just sees you as a piece of meat etc etc
--Good luck with that.
15. Lead and move forward confidently...be decisive, decide what's going to happen.
--Usually, this is the way to be, but you aren't going to change her mind if she has it made up. If you cause her to not do what she wants, see #1.
16. Don't be a wuss.
--Yep.
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul, fellow frog, I completely hear what you're saying. But these little tidbits that were passed onto me are there to help a guy start acting more like himself. A lot of men are complete spazzes when it comes to women, their approval seeking is deplorable. These are beliefs that help de-program a lot of the dumb crap guys do. Once you "get it", and understand that gorgeous women are just people too, you can feel truly comfortable with yourself...but until then, these help figure that out.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:05:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:55:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yet another "What women want" post.
I think guys should stop trying to figure out what women want, be themselves and deal with rejection when it occurs instead of coming up with lame theories about women to explain their failures to have their penises wrapped up in a vagina.
It really doesn't have to be complicated.
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Amen
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:05:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:55:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yet another "What women want" post.
I think guys should stop trying to figure out what women want, be themselves and deal with rejection when it occurs instead of coming up with lame theories about women to explain their failures to have their penises wrapped up in a vagina.
It really doesn't have to be complicated.
-------------------------
Thank you!!
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-20 10:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51257
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yet another "What women want" post.
I think guys should stop trying to figure out what women want, be themselves and deal with rejection when it occurs instead of coming up with lame theories about women to explain their failures to have their penises wrapped up in a vagina.
It really doesn't have to be complicated.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always found GHB to be a pretty affective tool.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Or, you could save yourself all that trouble and just slap the shit out of them.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well this solves everything.
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob: That's horrible....how so? Or don't I want to hear this?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pffft. Once you get married, the rules change again.
I found that a healthy daily allowance of Pimp Juice keeps me pimpin' along. http://www.letitloose.com/ (check out the PIMP scholarship, it had me laughing)
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-04-20 09:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm going to preempt a response here:
"Hang yourself with that rope around Don Juan's neck....-2 DIE!!!!!"