America. Fuck yeah! (1023 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.48 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by B. Badger (View user info) at 2005-04-20 15:41:17 EDT
Inspired by the heated discussion in the "If you don't speak English"-thread...
I live in Sweden.
For the geographically challenged Uberites it's a penis-shaped country
situated in the north of Europe, sandwiched between Norway and Finland.
We have very little crime, almost no private gun ownership, draconian
drug laws, horrendous fuel prices and very few jobs.
The country is fucking cold all the time, imagine a freezer and there
you go. Sure the summers are the best in the entire world, but like an orgasm
they are all too brief and when it's over you do everything (read: sit out the winter)
to experience it again.
The nature is fantastic, agreed but I can't stand the Swedish Mentality,
but to make a long story short; I've done extensive research on the
living/working conditions in many other countries on this green globe
and I've discovered, like my mercenary ancestor,
that the United States Of America is officially the shit.
so, Dear Americans of Uber:
How do I go about immigrating to this Land Of Hope And Glory you call home?
And before you ask I'm a Cacuasaian Male of the Heterosexual persuation with
a solid work ethic, and my intentions are to become "fucking rich" on your soil,
not screw around and leech welfare while refusing to learn English.
I speak (in addition to my native "language") English, German and basic Spanish.
Is immigration, for willing workers, impossible in the post 9/11 world?
Oh Uber, can you give the answers to my pleas?
-Badger
User Reviews
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-04-21 13:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We can trade. You be me, and I'll be you.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-21 08:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:37:57 (#)
Ranking: 1
P.S. Thanks for creating the campaign slogan for the 2020 election campaign when Jenna and Barbara Bush run for President and Vice President.
America. Fuck yeah!
===================
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-21 00:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your women.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-04-21 00:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-20 21:04:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
I cannot believe anybody living in the socialist paradise wants to move to the land of the Americunts :)
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Fuck yeah.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61266
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-20 23:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Borta bra, men hemma best.
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-04-20 22:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-04-20 18:17:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
America. Fuck Yeah! Comin' again to save the mother fuckin' day, YEAH! Freedom is the only way, yeah! Terrorists, your game is through, 'cause now you have to answer to... America, fuck yeah! So lick my butt and suck on my balls! America, fuck yeah! What you gonna do when we come for you now!
__________________________
Yeah! +2 for the title alone...
but if you seriously want to immigrate you should get yourself an American wife, 3 years later, boom! GREEN CARD BABY! Then you can divorce and do whatever the !*#! you want.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-20 22:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck would want to do that to themselves.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-20 21:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I cannot believe anybody living in the socialist paradise wants to move to the land of the Americunts :)
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-04-20 18:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
America. Fuck Yeah! Comin' again to save the mother fuckin' day, YEAH! Freedom is the only way, yeah! Terrorists, your game is through, 'cause now you have to answer to... America, fuck yeah! So lick my butt and suck on my balls! America, fuck yeah! What you gonna do when we come for you now!
Submitted by Hotpocket4you (user info) at 2005-04-20 18:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Because America Kicks Ass
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-20 18:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Or marry someone.....
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Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:31:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
If you can't find a job, find a relative, ANY relative, who will sponsor you and give you a place to stay until you are on your feet. Then you'll be on your way.
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-04-20 17:52:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Meatballs.
Submitted by MrMantis (user info) at 2005-04-20 17:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will sell you my green card for 5 English pounds or the current equivalant in Euros. I accept Paypal. Please send to:
Mr Mantis,
51 Sherwood Forest,
Hull,
Yorkshire,
PRN 714
England.
Submitted by b_badger (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the replies so far; aboot Canada, believe me I've consider it but I'm thinking of something a bit warmer. My great (x6?) was actually mercenarying in the Yankee Army, he even got as far as Brigadier General, eventually I think he scampered off home, but his mail and some of his other shit is still in the Museum of something something in Minnesota.
Also, I believe hard work pays off better in a place where the income tax isn't 35% ................ -2 Die to RSV (the Swedish equivalent of IRS).
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 because the title was in the song from Team America.
"America! Fuck yea!"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
P.S. Thanks for creating the campaign slogan for the 2020 election campaign when Jenna and Barbara Bush run for President and Vice President.
America. Fuck yeah!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Education is the key to social mobility in the Americas (US and Canada).
However, we tend to not really trust the credentials of foreign schools, so getting a post secondary education over here would be a good place to start. Or get your masters if you already have a bachelor's... you get the idea.
Canada would probably remind you a lot of your home.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you can't find a job, find a relative, ANY relative, who will sponsor you and give you a place to stay until you are on your feet. Then you'll be on your way.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
America is a cool place to go on holiday to. There are loads nicer places to live in Europe, where you have the added bonus of noone getting shot.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The attitude that you express is exactly the kind of people that founded/immigarted to America.
We would welcome you with open arms. I am only the second generation to live in America in my family.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmm sucking up to americans for positive ratings...maybe that would have been a better idea.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can crash at my place. bring some swedish chicks and we'll be good friends.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lethron (user info) at 2005-04-20 15:56:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
The American dream is a lie... or soon to be. But I admire your tenacity.
College Education is a plus. But dont expect to get rich working hard. In fact, working hard is the best way to be exploited. Come with a mindset of perhaps not leeching off the system but rather twisting it to your advantage.
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Its a lucky thing most people dont share you views of hard work or nothing would get done. I be Bill Gates would disagree that the 80 hour weeks that he put in didnt lead to him being a little bit wealthy.
He is pretty right right, I think hes worth at least a couple of million now or something like that. Anyways, come to Canada, we have free health care and GREAT pot.
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lethron (user info) at 2005-04-20 15:56:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
The American dream is a lie... or soon to be. But I admire your tenacity.
College Education is a plus. But dont expect to get rich working hard. In fact, working hard is the best way to be exploited. Come with a mindset of perhaps not leeching off the system but rather twisting it to your advantage.
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I second that!
Good luck!
Submitted by Adjomak (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because of outdated immigration laws, you have to apply for a green card to live here, or attempt to get a worker visa, which is a lot harder to get. Although, since you're from Europe, your number could pop up within a year, as opposed to 12 years if you're from the Mid or Far East. So, just flaunt your Europeanism, after all, American Immigration loves white people.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-04-20 16:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bring over some heavy metal. The best metal comes from Sweden.
Submitted by lethron (user info) at 2005-04-20 15:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The American dream is a lie... or soon to be. But I admire your tenacity.
College Education is a plus. But dont expect to get rich working hard. In fact, working hard is the best way to be exploited. Come with a mindset of perhaps not leeching off the system but rather twisting it to your advantage.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-04-20 15:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Walking across the border seems to work for el mexicanos that are here. You could always call the guy Thomas on "American Hotrod." Or am I the only person who watches that show?
Submitted by sharwei (user info) at 2005-04-20 15:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey...I'l trade you. I want to go and bang some Swedish women. Oh yeah, that Ikea idea was pretty good. Americans, especially the ones that think they are very 'classy' but have little money to back it up, love ikea! We need more European immigrants here....bring your whole family. I don't care if they don't speak English.....here in Southern California no one does. Swedish would be a nice change of pace!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-20 15:44:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, since you appear to be fluent in English, I don't think anyone on Uber will have a problem with you moving here.
Just be sure to empty ALL the recycling bins, or McCallum won't hesitate to call La Migra on your ass.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-20 15:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
try to get a job lined up in the States - I would try getting in with Saab or IKEA there, then try to get yourself sent here.