Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Work is the scourge of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. Fuck the Right
  2. Top 20 List Of Intelligent...
  3. Attitude
  4. How I Found My ZEN....No D...
  5. You Can Take Your Virgin J...
  6. Random...extem- p...or somet...
  7. lesson number one: no one ...
  8. Thanksgiving foot-whore, j...
  9. Update!!
  10. Tell me my hoodie is fabulous
more...
Most Heated
  1. Crazy is as crazy does, or... (49 heat)
  2. ATTN: Frank Caliendo (36 heat)
  3. You Can Take Your Virgin J... (33 heat)
  4. You Can Take Your Virgin J... (32 heat)
  5. Bring Back America: Part 1 (30 heat)
  6. What India (and Pakistan, ... (29 heat)
  7. How I Found My ZEN....No D... (29 heat)
  8. Tell me my hoodie is fabulous (28 heat)
  9. Thanksgiving foot-whore, j... (24 heat)
  10. Random...extem- p...or somet... (23 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1151415 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (710121 hits)
  3. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (388634 hits)
  4. How To Pick Up Chicks (329539 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (311320 hits)
  6. Knockoff porn movie titles (304778 hits)
  7. My J-Date Misadventure (288847 hits)
  8. Licking A Bum's Ass (253172 hits)
  9. Badass Australian Cows (249021 hits)
  10. Totally Useless Facts (234153 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1476091 hits)
  2. Stanley Moore (1454083 hits)
  3. Razor (1418635 hits)
  4. JMG114 (1395612 hits)
  5. MickGinny (1300233 hits)
  6. loki (1072862 hits)
  7. Jonukah (990006 hits)
  8. Most Hated (938736 hits)
  9. weeeeep (936959 hits)
  10. Cat Crooner Extraordinaire (897498 hits)
  11. Ubersite needs me! (891898 hits)
  12. Abortions Tickle (889166 hits)
  13. Tom (841066 hits)
  14. Sideburns, MUHFUCKA (820112 hits)
  15. Liar Below (778212 hits)
  16. T+I+G+E+R (766770 hits)
  17. oy vey (765879 hits)
  18. Sorrell (753788 hits)
  19. Quitter™ (698838 hits)
  20. Satan is my Motor (698282 hits)
  21. RON PAUL 2008! (694394 hits)
  22. HIDDEN101 (693343 hits)
  23. User Blocked (652770 hits)
  24. Phil Phone (650453 hits)
  25. TTOM88 (639669 hits)
  26. iddqd (629751 hits)
  27. comicbookguy (614518 hits)
  28. kaos-king (614186 hits)
  29. ♥ (591033 hits)
  30. O (586220 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

Tripping out on the Edge of Death! (607 hits)

Category: Humor

Rating: 1.33 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (View user info) at 2005-04-21 12:02:15 EDT


I was traveling in a convoy of cars to a hotel in Devon UK. We arrived and parked next to each other, the car park was situated at the top of a steep drop into either the North Sea or sharp pointy rocks. "Wouldn't want to fall into that" were my thoughts from the night before.

I am stone cold sober and alert as I drove to the edge and stopped. "Funny, I'm still moving" I think and I give the foot brake a good stamping.

I'm still moving, brakes failed, move onto Plan B: two hands grab the hand break and wrench it hard.

I'm still moving, front wheels over the edge and I'm sliding, move onto Plan C: abandon car, open door.

"SHIT IT'S LOCKED AND I'M STRAPPED IN", "IT'S TOO LATE, I'M GOING TO DIE" my mind screams, I never wanted to die falling of a cliff in a car. Sweat rips out of my body as I sense the car starting to tip, calm before I'm now in a frenzy mauling my restraints.

"GNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I moan, eyes rolling body taut in panic.












Then the car next to me stops reversing, removing the illusion of moving forward, I sit there panting in relief as another car parks next to me.

What can I say? I have no excuse, I wasn't even on drugs.


Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-26 01:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I've had both happen.

I recommend yours.

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-04-21 16:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

hahahahaha

Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-21 16:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Sounds like something I would do.

Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

justjoe21, I also consider locations to be the most boring/ not necessary parts of a story.

I seriously considered writing "to a hotel, by the sea" .

Did this really spoil the story for you? Or have you had too much caffeine?


Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by justjoe21 (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

it is quite clear to me that you failed geography,
that was the only important thing in this muddle of shit.

not sure why you had to tell uber this...........useless.

go and lie down.

Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0


Oh crumbs, I did fail Geography at school because I thought I would try and focus on important things. Will check.

Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0


Sun and Tooth,that's the problem with a true story, I should have photoshopped a green me in a falling car.

Submitted by justjoe21 (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

your no-where near the north sea there are ya,

if your gonna make something up think about it first.

thick shit

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

heheheheh


It would have been classic if you looked in the other direction and saw an entire family watching you go muts in your car.

Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

only a moderately funny story, but i can relate. every time i look up at a tall building or tower standing alone, i get the illusion that it's falling over because of the clouds blowing by. every time it happens i have to check it two or three times to make sure it's not really leaning.

i also count stairs as i climb/descend them and step over every crack in the sidewalk. and spell out threatening messages in my alpha-bits cereal.

Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Seriously though, I was wide awake. I glided into the spot with the clutch down, he must have moved just as I stopped, the illusion was perfect.

Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:13:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You reminded me of a time I was on acid and it was really windy out and I'm in my truck getting ready to go into a pool hall when I look over at the truck parked next to me and see that the wind is pulling the paint off the truck in huge chips. I tried to divert my attention to the grass in front of me, then decided against it when it seemed imminent that it would eat me.

This is probably why I am insane

Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Get more sleep


Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just
have to read the manual and press the right button.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined