Don't disrespect a Mexican's boots (957 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.11 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GroundHogSlayer (View user info) at 2005-04-21 12:25:52 EDT
Working at a lumberyard, I get to meet a lot of common laborers. Most of them are just masses of muscles that have nothing else to do. The others are like me, and just work there part time because of school. Antonio was one of those guys.
Antonio is a wetback from southern Mexico. His family came up here illegally of course, and somehow managed to get all tangled up in the mountains. Being a Spic, he has to find a good manual labor job to make money to buy beans. So, he's my colleague. Antonio doesn't have a lot to brag about in America other than two things. His boots and his muscles. He claims his boots are made by the decedents of the people who furnished Santa Anna with his fine footwear. And his muscles...oh baby his muscles. He's got a lot of meat on his belly for a spic, but other than his abs, you can see in great detail almost every other fucking muscle he has. It's insane. He isn't much older than me and this dude can crush a beer can with his pecks. Very intimidating.
Now I'm not a big guy. Kinda shrimpy in build really. But working almost all your life does wonders for muscles, so for what I am...I'm built. Being like this, I know the difference in muscle strength vs. muscle size. They're hardly ever synonymous. I've beat guys arm wrestling, out lifted, and out pushed guys who appeared to have more muscles, but lacked strength. Of course, it swings both ways. I've gotten into fights where I thought there was no way I could lose, and just got completely monkey stomped. I still like this hidden attribute. It has come in handy in all the underdog fights I've been engaged in. Especially the one with Antonio.
I hated Antonio. He was a loud, arrogant beaner who took every chance he got to try and prove that you should suck his dick. Complete asshole, but I tried not to fuck with him. I'd had some bad experiences with fighting Mexicans, and I wasn't about to try again with Antonio cause I've seen him do some wicked shit.
I had to park next to him at school and he got into a dick-waving contest with some big-man-white-boys. I had to watch. It's quite a thrill seeing guys try to compensate for having little dicks through physical means. The idea of what they were doing was performing the most complicated action that showed your strength. They showed Antonio some shit, then he showed them the shitiest of the shit. Taking a cigar out of his truck, he lit it, let it burn a little while, let out a massive amount of smoke, then did a handstand. It was truly amazing. That ox of a wetback had the most solid handstand I've ever seen, the dude didn't budge or wobble, and he didn't right-himself up until he'd smoke the rest of the cigar which took a good 2 minutes. I made a mental not never to fuck with this guy.
In a stack of other mental notes, I covered up and forgot that one.
I came to work one day to find Antonio showing off his "luxurious" cowboy boots to some new hired hands that didn't know anything about everything. How they were made by this great cobbler family, how they'll last so long, and why they should suck his dick for it is the majority of what he told them. I'd heard it all before so I just walked on by his little orgy of admirers. But one of them happened to know me and asked me to come join them.
Not thinking of an excuse fast enough so that I wouldn't have to, I resentfully walked over.
Asshole Friend: Have you seen this guy's footwear?
Me: Hard not to.
Asshole Friend: Nice aren't they?
Me: psh...yeah, whatever.
I should of agreed with him and just walked away because Antonio took a little offense to my lack of enthusiasm.
Antonio: (thick greasy accent) What!?!
Me: What?
Antonio: You do not like my boots?
Me: eh...I've seen better.
Antonio: These boots kick ass. Lot more than yours.
Me: (blank look) ...and?
Antonio: and what?
Me: And you having good boots makes you so much hot shit?
Antonio: Dat's right.
Me: (chuckle) ok.
Antonio: Dat's right. I show you who you messing with.
Me: No thanks Spicy Boy. I've got enough acne as it is. Don't need your grease to stimulate it.
I didn't expect Antonio to put two and two together on what I told him, but he either did or figured it was something he should get offended by because the next thing I knew, I was staring at his greasy little snout that was two inches from my face. Luckily, my boss came out then and put us to work. I decided to accept God's intervention of me getting my ass kicked and just forget about the whole thing.
You know, it's amazing how well a Catholic can hold a grudge. Antonio didn't forget. And he made damn sure that I didn't.
We were loading some fairly long stacks of wood on the back of this guy's pick-up. As I bent down to pick up a stack there was an excruciatingly quick pain in the back of my head. I jerked up ready to castrate one of the nOObies who was dumb enough to hit me with there stack only to see Antonio. The little fucker had whacked we upside the head with his stack and now had a smirk on his face that clearly said, "what you gonna do white boy?"
Being so pissed off from the cheap shot, I took a few steps toward him, and raised my balled-up fists, ready for combat. Antonio seemed a little taken back (most people didn't challenge him), but he soon followed the same suit, and got in the most macho fighting stance he could muster. In my rage, I had a moment of clarity...I knew I was fucked. So I did the one thing you can do when you're fucked...take a cheap shot.
I bluffed a swing to his head with my left arm, then without hesitation, plowed into his nuts with my right foot. It was glorious. The steel-toes in my boots have so many advantages. Not expecting such a hit, Antonio fell to the ground in immense pain. I never like to pass up the exploitation of my opponent's disadvantage, so while he was sprawled out on the ground, I jumped on his stomach with my knees, and began pounding his face with my fists.
Antonio was a tough shit. I mean I'd already kicked him in the nads, kneed his stomach, and had put well placed punches in his face, and he still had the brass to flip me off him. I don't remember how, all I know is one minute his face is turning into a pulp, the next I'm flipped on my back, the wind is knocked out of me, and the bull is revving up to give me a pounding. And what a pounding he gave me. His first shot hit my right eye, the next impounded my nose. A shower of blood flew into his face from my nose, and he stopped the beating momentarily. I decided this was time for me to act.
I brought my knee squarely into his crotch once again.
It wasn't much of a hit, but it was enough to get the big galloot off of me. He rolled over on the ground in pain, and I did my best to stand up. When I cleared my eyes of blood from my nose, I was expecting to see Antonio charging for me but was surprised to find my boss standing in between us.
"...what...the FUCK...IS GOING ON HERE?"
Needless to say, my boss didn't dig his workers fighting, so me and Antonio were fired. The guys at worked loved it though. Thought it resembled Elias fighting Barnes in Platoon.
I went back the next day, explained the situation to my boss, and being an understanding fellow, he gave me my job back.
Me: What about Antonio sir? He still fired?
Boss: You think I want that greasy spic back? I needed an excuse to fire him. I had always wondered why I hired him to begin with.
User Reviews
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-21 21:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mexicans are worth hating
Submitted by rdn4 (user info) at 2005-04-21 21:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahahhahah
Submitted by stevetherugbyman (user info) at 2005-04-21 20:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bluffed a swing to his head with my left arm, then without hesitation, plowed into his nuts with my right foot. It was glorious.
hahahaha
Submitted by GroundHogSlayer (user info) at 2005-04-21 20:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where did i once mention that i hate Mexicans? i love mexicans. hard working honest people. the only ones i don't like are Antonio and his dad
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-21 16:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
chinga mexico chinga mexico chinga mexico chinga mexico chinga mexico chinga mexico!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-21 13:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the way you tell stories.
Submitted by HillBoyJr (user info) at 2005-04-21 13:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
racistt and you meantioned dicks about 12 times.in many ways....racist and gay.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-04-21 13:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by the_mysterious_stranger (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-04-21 12:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Good story, but you automatically get a -2 for being a racist fuck. Hate the man, not his nationality.