Quick: this is a peener emergency! (953 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.11 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Affinity (View user info) at 2005-04-21 13:55:41 EDT
I've just cut up a chilli and touched my prick!
IT BUURRRRRRRRRRNNNNSSSSSSSS
is there a cure?
quick quick
User Reviews
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-22 09:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-22 12:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who told you that!
Don't believe everything you hear. Ask Zoidburg.
Besides, i'm gunning for manicmother
she has a grumpy charm that makes me do handstands
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-22 11:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yaaaaaaayyy!
WHAT? I mean, NO! No! Because it's WRONG, that's why!
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-22 11:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I could be a chick for you thorpe!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-22 08:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA
By the way, I always thought you were a chick.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-04-22 08:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is somthing that you should have saved to tell your grandkids about.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-22 08:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One must wonder: "Why is Affinity cutting a chili without his pants on?"
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-22 05:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-22 01:02:57 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-21 19:11:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
One time I was eating jalepenos with my hands, then my girlfriend started making out with me.
Guess where I put my fingers.
--------------------------------------
What did your wife think of that?
======================================
When I told my wife what happened, she told me to wash my hands before I touched her.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-22 05:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yoghurt! bloody hell.
I think that I will verify this suggestion by experimenting
upon my girlfriend's beef curtains with a jalepeno
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-22 05:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yessssssssssss, as a great admirer of and consumer of copious quantities of chilli there is a cure,plain yogurt, rub it on eat it drink it whatever,but it works.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-04-22 01:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-21 19:11:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
One time I was eating jalepenos with my hands, then my girlfriend started making out with me.
Guess where I put my fingers.
--------------------------------------
What did your wife think of that?
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-22 00:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Take a knife and cut your chest like that Indian guy did in Predator.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-22 00:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you punch yourself in the face you'll forget all about yur peener
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-21 19:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One time I was eating jalepenos with my hands, then my girlfriend started making out with me.
Guess where I put my fingers.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-21 18:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you COULD always ask someone to kiss it and make it better....
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-21 18:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's all better now. Although it has gone
a different colour on one side. Looks a bit like
a grim lollipop
thanks for all your kind words........
..............................bastards
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-21 17:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you....you....you ....PIVOT YOU!!!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-21 17:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YEah! What she said..... wait, what DID she say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by caberetgirl (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:42:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
wyh wood you have yuor nayked penis axposed to chily ? aer you a pivot or sumfin ?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-04-21 16:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So one of my husband's friends is sitting at a Buffalo Wild Wings shootin' the shit with the bartender after work. Having a couple of beers and a couple more beers the man is bet by the bartender that he can't handle the extra hot, melt the tissue off your mouth wings. If he eats them all they're on the house. He pulls it off no problem and decides it's time to drain the lizard.
Dumbass doesn't wash his hands first. Apparently they could hear him screaming throughout the resturant.
Moral of the story: WASH YOUR HANDS FIRST, MORON.
The fix: Milk bath for MR. LIZARD.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-21 16:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i TOLD you not to rock with your cock out, peeney-boy
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-21 15:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:30:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
try cutting it off
-----
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:14:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Slap it down on the counter top and hit it with a hammer until you don't feel anything.
------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:07:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes, there is a cure.
Loaded gun to temple...pull trigger...presto.
------
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-04-21 13:56:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Chop off your penis.
------
what they said.
Submitted by The_Grammar_Nazi (user info) at 2005-04-21 15:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's just nature telling you not to be a dumbass, dumbass.
QUICK, GET SOME HELP! MY HAND AND PEENY ARE FIGHTING!! Go get some warm towels and a chicken burrito, we got us a battle royale!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:01:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ghonnorrea cha cha cha
oh i laughed so hard at that
Submitted by caberetgirl (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wyh wood you have yuor nayked penis axposed to chily ? aer you a pivot or sumfin ?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
try cutting it off
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeanneee don't worry. It's not as if you did it to me.
Anyway, milk seems to be the key, soooooooothing
This moment is not camwhore worthy
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey sorry man, I really thought soap and water would help.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sugar.
works in your mouth.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:17:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this glass of milk is helping a bit
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have your boyfriend chew up some ice and then suck on it.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Slap it down on the counter top and hit it with a hammer until you don't feel anything.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeanneee you mare!
soap and water! that just spead it about, now my bell and most of
the shaft is on fire
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
apply butter, rub it in vigorously (stop getting hard, perv), then wash off w/ soap and warm water.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Take a knife, size isn't important as long as the knife covers the width of the affected area. Place the burning section on the counter and cover with cold water for 30 seconds. A towel with ice would work but then the towel sticks to the skin and aggravates the shit out of you. Don't ask me how I know this, I don't care to discuss it.
After the 30 seconds of cold water bathing, take your free hand and grasp the head firmly. Stretching it out as far as possible. If you can't get to the desired length of 3 inches, don't worry, it isn't important as long as you have enough room for the knife between your hand and your body.
Once you have the peener extended across the counter, look away and slash down with the knife as hard as possible. Immediately wrap the remaining portion in bandages or the above referenced towel to minimize blood stains on the counter and floor.
Or call someone to suck out the poison.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yes, there is a cure.
Loaded gun to temple...pull trigger...presto.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nurse, bring me a hand saw and a martini.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HURRY!! PUT IT IN A BLENDER!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wash it off with soap and water, you tard.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-21 14:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ghonnorrea cha cha cha
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-21 13:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stick in your moms ass... that ought to help
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-04-21 13:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
first of all, ouch.
second of all, rub Icy Hot ALLLLL over your wing wang. You'll feel much better.
Submitted by Josephine (user info) at 2005-04-21 13:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Chop off your penis.