Let's spin The Wheel Of Death (part 2) (1395 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.42 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by joedaddy <zippadeedoodaa.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-21 22:33:01 EDT
Like I said before, I knew every inch of my city.
On the side street, in the last house before the corner Shell Station, a very enterprising citizen had made
his residence. For years he had parked a 1976 Cadillac Sedan De Ville on the street in front of his house.
It was insured for $8500 for any and all incidents and would always be parked right at the edge of the
exit from the gas station. He, nor his family, ever drove the car. They didn't need to.
Since the station sold alcohol and had a large clientele of teenagers, including "side-show" types,
his car was always being either clipped or outright smashed into, by these people.
It became, over the years, quite a supplemental income for him and his family.
He was able to play the "72hour" limit game with us for years: moving the car 1" forward, 2" backward,
take the penny off the top of the tire, scrub the caulk mark off, cover the dash odometer with a rag and
many other tricks. It was quite a game for the daytime parking patrol units, and "they" were relentless.
But he was not going to give up his income so he was able to convince the city to "handi-cap" the
space for him, complete with blue curb and sign. The creep had actually beaten us at our own game.
(A real Fat Tony move)
This "Caddi" was the reason I had entered the station. It was my target, my backstop.
My 1 Ton "tank" against his "Caddi". Just out the exit and a slight angle to the right, a done deal.
I felt it was going to be a win-win situation for everyone involved in the neighborhood, and maybe,
in a best-case scenario, I'd "take that bitch car out" for good. Like I said, he never drove it.
I knew it would stop my van in any case with no injuries to any bystanders.
But there was that God Damn tanker truck and trailer in my way so I was fucked.... big time.
Two guys (we'll call them: Gas Man 1 and Gas Man 2) were working next to the truck.
Each man was individually handling a 5" gas hose with the 45 degree nozzle inserted into 2
different tanks on the concrete slab. The station was receiving its monthly infusion of gas.
Gas Man 2, and his "nozzle" were between the rear tank trailer and me.
Since the concrete was slick with gas and oil, as I knew it would be, the parking mechanism
had finally locked up the rear wheels.
If I had placed the shift in reverse, I would have killed the engine, and being an automatic, I would
have just "free-wheeled" the rest of my journey with no hope of any braking.
Gas Man 2 must have been paying attention to all of the screeching and sliding of my tires because
he was already on the move before the rear wheels finally locked up next to the "pump-island".
He had "broke-left", and was already out of the lot, on the sidewalk, and past the parked Cadillac.
I'm talking Kenyon on steroids type speed. He was moving fast and not looking back.
Gas Man 1 was frozen. His mind and feet had failed him. I had seen it before in Southeast Asia.
When I struck the first "nozzle", for some reason, I looked left.
Gas Man 1 had still, not moved one inch.
And there are no words to describe the look on his face.
As my van bumped and then passed over the nozzle, the scraping noise was tremendous,
but no explosion occurred.
I then ran over the coiled hose with the van and had 5' feet left to the side of the tanker.
I was still traveling about 5-7mph...................
I hit the side of the tank; just enough to put a hairline crack the very center of my windshield.
My entire view was that of a highly brushed aluminum oval with the propensity to expand quite rapidly
if provoked. If it had been one of those milk truck tankers, I could have easily seen my reflection
I had created a small dent, but no explosion.......yet.
The fumes from the broken nozzle were unmistakable, even in the open space of the lot, and
since I had killed my engine I could feel the gas still pulsating thru the line under my floorboard.
I rolled down my window and yelled to Gas Man 1 "TURN THE GODDAMN FLOW OFF!"
Nothing............
I yelled at him again.............still nothing.
I got out of the van, walked over to him, and repeated myself,
"TURN THE GODDAMN FLOW OFF, OR SHOW ME HOW TO DO IT!"
Finally he speaks, or I should say stutters:
"I...I...I thought you were a terrorist."
I said: "Right, and you're a man of action" "Can you help me here?"
Nothing....... He is absolutely frozen in place, mute, like a statue less the one sentence.
But when he said that one word, I got scarred. I saw images of the FBI, DOD, Homeland Security,
County Sheriffs, HASMAT, and members of my previous employer on the scene
And what they would think of, or do with me, when they arrived? And come... they would.
I was an ex-cop. I knew how to fuck up a crime scene (on orders), and there was no way I was
going to suffer the humiliation of what could or would happen next.
As I turned my head, back towards my van, I noticed Gas Man 2 was now 5 blocks away.
So yeah, be it selfish or incredibly stupid, I decided it was time to spin the wheel of death again.
Fuck the fumes; fuck the non-functioning Gas Man 1. Fuck them all, because I felt lucky!
So I walked back to my van, started the engine, and proceeded to back up and back over, the
hose and the leaking nozzle, and clear my vehicle away from the scene. A quite insane move.
The smell from the gasoline fumes in the air was almost overpowering, and all around me,
people were fleeing the area.
Except Gas Man 1......
User Reviews
Submitted by rodyarask (user info) at 2008-03-24 19:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think .. I love you.
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-07-01 09:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's why I would never drive an automatic!
Submitted by Rads_wife (user info) at 2005-06-14 00:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68315
WINNER!!!
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-04 15:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm very glad I finally got around to reading these...they're great, and now I'm on to installment 3!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked this
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-25 10:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This account is under new management.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Submitted by ChronicMasturbator (user info) at 2005-04-22 01:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Faggot why don't you shut the fuck up.
It's content not format of the content that matters.
Man, Hitler should have killed of your kind instead.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-21 23:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry to give you a -2 but you must understand that I really hate having to read posts
written like this. Double-spacing pisses me off. You need to learn to paragraph or you will
find yourself crucified.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-21 23:47:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't feel like reading all that but find that it scrolls quite smoothly.