What You Did To Me... (934 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.38 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by moneyshot (View user info) at 2005-04-23 04:09:09 EDT
I wanted you ever since I first saw you outside looking so sad. I wanted to go over and give you a hug but I didn't even know you then. You seemed to look up at me as if someone had said "Look up or never look again" and I smiled as you finally noticed me and smiled back.
I've tried a couple of times before to describe this... us, you. But nothing ever came. For the first time in my life I felt like my words weren't good enough. Whenever I tried to write about us, it just came out wrong or cheap. Like the simplicity of it undermined it's true depth. It, of course, being what you did to me since I first saw you: My heart beating a million miles a minute threatening to rip out of my chest, My lungs feeling like there isn't enough air in the world to fill them, My pregnant mixed up mind longing to find the right thing to say to you, And suddenly becoming aware of everything that was wrong with me and that could turn you away.
I wanted to be your shining diamond, but I'm still rough, uncut and flawed.
Our short but amazing affair was the stuff that twelve year old girls daydream of and thirty-somethings strive to find. You may not of believed me when I said you made me change the way I thought about the universe or how you made every other woman unattractive but I will never stop telling you that. See? Words never do justice.
I'm listening to that song right now and it made me think of you. I know it's been a little while but I felt like I needed some closure and tonight seemed as good as any. Time and time again I would dissect it. Picking it apart and putting it back together differently every time. I've been in many relationships but I can't think of one that affected me as much. I hate thinking about all the times I told you how I would love you unconditionally until the end of time. But I don't hate thinking about it because what I said was false. I hate it because what I said was completely true and for whatever reason you still faded into nothingness. Perhaps I've been thinking too much and I need to go to bed.
In conclusion, I guess what I'm trying to say in this little essay is that you were a big part of my life and it's been hard moving on but I think I'm ready. I'll probably still think of you from time to time and that's okay. Hopefully, you'll think of me and smile. I don't know what else to say. Goodnight.
User Reviews
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-25 12:54:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:39:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautifully written. Heart renchingly painful.
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I must be pretty cold because I have no idea what mrwolf is talking about. I hate this post.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-04-25 12:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2005-04-24 00:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you all for the kind words. What can I say? I love you Uber.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-04-23 20:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanted to be your shining diamond, but I'm still rough, uncut and flawed.
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No your not mate, your bang on, perfect. Don't ever change.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-23 18:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-04-23 17:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Something similar happened to my OBGYN friend, only the blood was alive.
Heart renching indeed; superb riting!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-04-23 15:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can never give you less than a +2. Why?
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2004-12-19 07:01:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
I had a friend who was training to be an OBGYN. One day a girl came in who hadn't had her period in 3 months. After alot of testing they examined her and found a tampon shoved so far deep into her during sex that it blocked the flow of all fluid. After the doctor removed it a vile 3 month old ooze of dead blood and raunchiness drained out from her. They then called the janitor in to dispose of the medical bucket they used to collect the dead blood and upon entering the room he quit on the spot.
The point? Your post stinks worst.
-the moneyshot
Submitted by Darshiscool (user info) at 2005-04-23 15:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it sucks.
Submitted by Darshiscool (user info) at 2005-04-23 15:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i concur
Submitted by Darshiscool (user info) at 2005-04-23 15:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i agree
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-23 13:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Punch her across the mouth and rape her.
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-04-23 10:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gorgeous description of the feeling most guys have at least once when they're younger. As I was reading it, I thought to myself "he's setting himself up for a nasty fall". I find that you just can't ever let yourself get like that unless the woman you're with is very mature emotionally (the reason I prefer women in their mid to late 20s). Even then, you have to restrain yourself or you'll find yourself magically dumped for no apparent reason...emotions are powerful chemicals, and if you keep it sweet like this 24/7 it loses its effect and you're fucked...mix some bitter in to make the sweet look like what it is and not an everyday occurance. You can't be falling all over her constantly. That's my two cents on this.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-23 10:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-23 05:18:50 (#)
Ranking: 1
This was pretty good emo stuff, but one thing killed it for me.
"In conclusion"
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-23 05:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was pretty good emo stuff, but one thing killed it for me.
"In conclusion"
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-23 05:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's wierd how one person (no matter how short the relationship) always seems to stand out among the rest.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-23 05:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In every rendez vou there is a lesson for each and every one.
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Socialist Joe is as tough as nails
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautifully written. Heart renchingly painful.
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seems like there's been a lot of depressing relationship shit popping up lately. Makes me feel a little better about my own fuck ups. But not much...