The World Is Mine! (985 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 2 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <tempeststorm.at.geocities.com> (View user info) at 2003-04-17 15:32:40 EDT
This made me laugh!
RUMSFELD SEEN HOLDING GLOBE IN HANDS, CACKLING MANIACALLY
Defense Secretary Questions Use of Word 'Cackling'
Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld was seen running through the streets of Washington late Saturday night carrying a globe and "cackling maniacally," according to witnesses who saw Mr. Rumsfeld's startling behavior.
The Defense Secretary was first spotted making his way down Pennsylvania Avenue, witnesses said, and was said to be performing "some kind of a crazy jig."
"He was shouting, 'The world is mine!' and just cackling his head off," said Jonah Braymer, a high school teacher from Duluth who was taking his history students on a tour of the nation's capital. "The kids were all pretty scared."
In an appearance Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press," Mr. Rumsfeld told host Tim Russert that he did in fact run down Pennsylvania Avenue carrying a globe, but denied that he was in any way "cackling."
"Cackling? Cackling? Goodness gracious be, all you have to do is laugh a little these days and every Gloomy Gus, Nervous Nelly and Henny Penny will say you're cackling like a maniac," Mr. Rumsfeld said, cackling.
Elsewhere, in what is being described as "a major step forward on Iraq's road to democracy," a team led by White House advisor Karl Rove arrived in Baghdad today to teach the Iraqi people how to make negative campaign ads.
Mr. Rove acknowledged that, since Saddam Hussein ran for President unopposed for twenty-four years, the Iraqis have no experience with the kind of below-the-belt attack ads that have been the hallmark of American democracy.
But Mr. Rove said that if negative campaign ads take hold in Iraq, the politics of personal destruction and character assassination could eventually blossom across the Middle East.
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(http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=570)
User Reviews
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-04-17 19:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha.
hahahahaha.
hahahahaha. . .
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-17 16:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh well, if I haven't gotten any work done so far today, why start now?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-04-17 15:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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