Vatic (560 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.84 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by icepigs (View user info) at 2005-04-25 14:50:43 EDT
"How do you do it, Vance?" Mark asked.
Vance smiled "Do what?"
"You know. On the football field, you always know where the quarterback is throwing the ball - even before he lets go. In baseball, you're standing exactly where the ball is hit." Mark shook his head. He had barely touched the cheeseburger sitting on his plate. "I haven't seen anyone lay a hand on you in karate in almost a year."
Vance's smile disappeared. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"For 3 years I've watched you do things that are absolutely amazing." Mark explained. "I thought - hell, everyone thinks that you're just an amazing athlete. But what I saw today makes me wonder if it's something more."
"What are you talking about? " Vance asked quietly, his eyes downcast.
"What happened with Mary in lab today." Mark accused. "You know, when I think about it, I've seen a thousand little coincidences that involved you, but catching that beaker before it landed on her head - that was just too perfect."
Vance sat motionless, his eyes locked in a distant stare.
Mark continued. "Dude, we've been best friends since kindergarten. What's going on? Talk to me!"
"You'd laugh if I told you." Vance whispered.
"Try me."
Vance took a deep breath and looked at his best friend. Maybe it was time for his secret to come out. His mind churned, trying to find a way to explain it. Mark sat patiently waiting for Vance to speak.
"The best way to explain it," Vance started, "is to just be blunt." He paused as if trying to convince himself to speak. "I can see the future."
"What?" Mark laughed. "You think you're Nostradamus or something? Why haven't you won the lotto?"
"No. Nothing like that." Vance replied. "I only see what will happen in the next couple of seconds."
Mark looked confused. "I don't understand."
Vance looked at Mark. "I only see things just seconds before they happen. The more important they seem to be, the more time I get. I can see a phone ringing maybe a second before it happens. On the football field, I get two or three. Sometimes, when there's danger, I get four or five seconds. Never more than that."
Mark looked at Vance and asked, "How long...? I know I'm not the most observant person, but..."
"I think it started in Junior High, but it was so sporadic I didn't know what was happening. But each year, I get better at it. Lately I've been able to actually focus it on something. Like with Mary. I was trying to foresee what she would say if I asked her to the prom. That's when I saw the beaker fall. Two seconds later, I reached over and caught it."
After a moment of silence, Vance stood up. "Let's go home."
They stood up, put on their coats to ward off the chill outside, and walked out the door in silence. Both lost in their own thoughts as they walked past the stores in the strip mall.
"So, are you some kind of Prophet?" Asked Mark.
"I dunno." Vance pulled his knit cap over his ears. "I've looked everywhere for information; the Internet, the library, the church. I don't think there's really a word for what I am. It's just vatic visions pop into my..." Vance stopped suddenly, his eyes darting to the left then right. "Get down!" he screamed as he dragged Mark to the ground.
As Mark went down, the window to the jewelry store exploded. The chair used to shatter the glass sailed where he stood a split second before. He froze as two masked gunmen came through the now nonexistent window.
Vance quickly rolled onto the balls of his feet. Like lightning, he leaped in the air, spun backwards and extended his leg. The heel of his boot met firmly with the temple of the first man. The robber crumpled in to a heap.
This placed the second man behind Vance. He raised his pistol, pointed it at Vance, and pulled the trigger.
Vance dropped into a crouch, the bullet flying harmlessly over his head. He kicked back, crushing the bandit's kneecap. The gun fell to the ground as the robber collapsed in pain.
Vance looked at Mark, in shock, but unhurt on the ground inches away from the carnage. "Mark, don't let them know it was me!" Vance ran around the corner of the building and quickly disappeared.
Mark mumbled, still amazed by what happened, "You're no Prophet, you're a Superhero."
Sirens pierced the air and in moments police had the gunmen in handcuffs and were questioning witnesses.
"You were closest to the action," the cop asked Mark. "Did you see who that guy was?"
"It was Va...um..." Mark stammered. "His name is Vatic"
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-26 04:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-25 19:31:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
I forsee a series.
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That is very funny, Rad.
Good one!
Submitted by algermetiphist (user info) at 2005-04-25 23:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-25 19:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forsee a series.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-25 19:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice... more please
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-04-25 17:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice 1st post.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-04-25 17:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent. A nice addition to Uber, if you're not someone's alter.
I had to look up vatic. I like that.
I would definitely read more.
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-04-25 17:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff, hence good rating. the people below who criticized were right, though. it started out strong and lost a little of its depth in the action. i can't wait to see where this is going.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-04-25 16:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-04-25 16:21:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
This was getting a +2 all the way up to the "Get down!" scream.
You needed to develop the idea a litte, not hop in with a cheesy life-saver and a superhero name.
I would encourage you to read the 1st half again and write a series like that.
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Still a cool premise with tons of potential. I agree you might have jumped the gun a bit but at the same time look at the reader interest you created. good stuff, keep em coming.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-04-25 16:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was getting a +2 all the way up to the "Get down!" scream.
You needed to develop the idea a litte, not hop in with a cheesy life-saver and a superhero name.
I would encourage you to read the 1st half again and write a series like that.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-25 16:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good show.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me like.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this. Nicely written as well.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cool
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nifty. nice first post.
reminded of that skit on SNL where Christpher Walken plays a prophet who can only see unimportant events in the immediate future. HAHAHAH...Great skit.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
potential credentials...
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apu: You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something?
Homer: Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone.
Homer's Night Out
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If you continued this story, I'd read it.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice, very nice.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-04-25 15:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking sweet. I'd like to see more of this.
I actually started a superhero story with a guy that could see a few seconds into the future a few years ago, but school got in the way and I haven't touched it since.... i KNEW it could be cool.
rock, rock on!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-25 14:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty cool.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-25 14:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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