How To: Make love to Judge Judy (1103 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.8 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by How To (View user info) at 2005-04-25 20:37:39 EDT
The following is a How To guide, and is to be used for educational purposes only. In this case, it could also be used as an informative explanation as to how somebody would go about raping Judge Judith Sheindlin.
1. Get involved in a civil dispute. Ask a neighbor to lend you a pedestal or step ladder, promising him you will return it within a week.
2. Keep the step ladder and when he complains: tell him to call the following number:
1-888-800-5839 (1-888-800-JUDY)
-or- direct him to this webpage:
http://www.judgejudy.com/submitcase/submitcase.asp
3. Now you have your foot in the door, show up to court in a pair of strippers' pants wearing no underwear. Bring the step ladder with you.
4. Halfway through the proceedings, request permission to approach the bench. Judge Judy will say some snappy zinger about how you can't because it is only a small claims court. While the audience is laughing, pick up the step ladder and charge the bench.
5. Drop the ladder at the base then frosby flop over the bench while simultaneously ripping the stripper pants off and allowing your unkempt pubic hairs to dust the bench top.
6. Keep an eye on Baliff Byrd. He is just an actor who's sole purpose on the show is to provide witty banter for Judge Judy to feed off, but he still is a black man so you never know with these people.
7. Knock Judge Judy to the floor and lift up her Judge robe. Take note of what kind of panties (if any) she wears: I want to know.
8. Give three short pumps in her rancid snatch before rednecks in the audience realize something has gone awfully wrong in the Court of Judge Judy.
9. Pull out and jerk off really hard to give her an A-grade money shot. If you can't cum before the rednecks get within a few feet of you, spit in her face instead then run.
10. You're on your own from here.
User Reviews
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2005-05-05 21:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
7. Knock Judge Judy to the floor and lift up her Judge robe. Take note of what kind of panties (if any) she wears: I want to know.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-05-05 17:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
While I didn't like all the others, this is hilarious
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-26 12:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I *heart* How To.
Submitted by spank (user info) at 2005-04-26 10:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-04-26 10:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-26 10:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-26 09:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And again.
HILARIOUS.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-26 09:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thankfully, these are getting better.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-26 09:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man that was funny.
Submitted by Warren (user info) at 2005-04-26 08:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice post, but i didnt really burst laughing..... not till i saw the name of the one that reviewed before me, at least
no offence dude but that shit sounds just like what a blitzkrieg bob would do
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-26 08:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unban WhatTheHell
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-26 08:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHA!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-26 08:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that was awfully funny stuff.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-26 07:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHY CAN'T I GET ON THE FRONT PAGE?!
Submitted by snarf (user info) at 2005-04-26 07:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
While the audience is laughing, pick up the step ladder and charge the bench.
Could completly picture this in my head!
fuckin hilarious
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-26 07:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no comment needed
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-04-26 01:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahha. fuck that whore.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-04-26 00:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
While the audience is laughing, pick up the step ladder and charge the bench.
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2005-04-25 23:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-04-25 23:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAH...OHHH man...that was some funny shit, dude!
I laughed out loud with that one...'just spit on her and run away.' gold.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-04-25 23:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, this is top-quality shit. straight from cuba, homes.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-04-25 22:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-25 22:46:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny - but I don't know why anyone would feel they needed to know how to do this.
______________________________
Hey, you never know. Stranger things have happened. I can't think of where, when, or to whom, but they've happened.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-25 22:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pwnsome
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-25 22:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flanders:
They're not perfect, but the Lord says love they neighbor --
Homer: Shut up, Flanders.
Flanders:
Okely-dokely-do.
Hurricane Neddy
Best "How To:" guide I'VE ever read...
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-04-25 22:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny - but I don't know why anyone would feel they needed to know how to do this.
Submitted by Mr.Brightside (user info) at 2005-04-25 21:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-04-25 21:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just...wow...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-04-25 21:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It didn't work.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-04-25 21:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The thing i cant understand is how do you get an erection looking at a naked Judge Judy?
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-04-25 21:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but strippers don't wear pants
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-25 20:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hilarious.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-04-25 20:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't stop laughing at this bullshit.
You better not turn this alter into something crappy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-25 20:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was good.
I'd fuck Judge Judy...again.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-04-25 20:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're so romantic.
Submitted by MegaPotato (user info) at 2005-04-25 20:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
They're pink with different colored stars.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-04-25 20:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This reeks of College Guy.
Submitted by TheDrizzle (user info) at 2005-04-25 20:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that
girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and
foxy boxing and such and such.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa on Ice