A Brain at Idle (614 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rawrgy McRawrgerson <uber.rawrg.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-26 01:06:33 EDT
I'm sitting here in my old office, where I used to work and it's become so apparent how I'm changing as a person. All of this work and accomplishment driving away the victim mentality that I loathed but secretly embraced underneath the whole facade of my independence. I now know what it means to be responsible. It feels completing.
I wish that I had a higher power to answer to. If I did, it would be my personal ideal. But who am I to create a theology? I answer only to what I should do.
The Spring and all the couples are a constant reminder of how dysfunctional I truly am. Can I be fixed? Should I try? I should. I should aspire to put the blinders on and enjoy life while I have it. There's no need to be concerned with the trivial or that which I can't change. Or is there? I don't know. Rebel without a cause? Or the guy who can see the aliens in "They Live!" I've come here to chew bubble gum and ponder life for an eternity until I'm dead... and I'm all out of bubble gum.
I've lost concern. This passion was a plagiarism (and so was this quote, credit goes to Amanda Palmer) I can't fix my past, only try and realign my future.
Isn't it fun reading someone's mind for a few minutes?
I have a feeling our mutual idealogies stem from our mutual dysfunctionalities, but as I grow, I still understand what I am and where I came from. That's good enough I think.
"You're attracted to dysfunctional women." That's what a dysfunctional girl once told me. But what is dysfunction? Simply something that doesn't function as predicted or desired. Desired or predicted by whom? By other people. Who the fuck are they?
I am attracted to dysfunctional women though. It's all because I can relate and because we're similar people.
Another friend once told me that common interests are less important than basic idealogies. I mean, why do people who love each other necessarily have to enjoy the same activities of leisure and hobby? Is it not possible to relate in beliefs and not in specific types of recreation? Wives need a girl's night out and husband's need poker night. People need time apart. People need to think on a similar basis to understand each other.
Republicans and Democrats aren't idealogists, they all want the same thing: to feel like the situation is under control. It never is though. Your political affiliation is as arbitrary in your choice of underwear on a Monday. It's possible for different politicos to enjoy each other's company.
I've spent months wishing I was in love again, wishing that some girl would take interest in me. My biological clock is telling me to reproduce before I cut my own head off in a freak accident with my table saw. I have been overlooking the fact that all my money and time are mine. My choices are mine to make and not "ours" The girls of my deepest fantasies will do whatever I want them to without imposing guilt or shame. Existing within the safety of my mind is the only way to be sometimes. Denial, while a guilty pleasure, is painless.
...
Good night.
User Reviews
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-04-26 11:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You may love me from afar.
Submitted by GreenRiver (user info) at 2005-04-26 09:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-04-26 09:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Denial, while a guilty pleasure, is painless."
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Is it? You may not be in pain but you sure as hell are in conflict. And what I am going to say next is probably not going to help much but it may open things up for discussion or debate; In my experience, the level of happiness does not necessarily increase when you find someone and start into a relationship. It does not necessarily decrease either. I was single for a looooooong time. There were pros and cons to that lifestyle. I am married now. There are pros and cons to being married. To me, there is no direct correlation between ones level of happiness and whether he/she is in a relationship or not.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-04-26 09:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GRRRRRRRRRR!
Where the hell have you been?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-04-26 07:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish that I had a higher power to answer to. If I did, it would be my personal ideal. But who am I to create a theology?
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You can answer to me if you want, I'v always wanted my own human plaything.
Seriously though I agree with what you say about 'dysfunctional' women. Only someone who's been truly alone can appreciate what it is to have someone.
Submitted by ze_poodle (user info) at 2005-04-26 07:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't really know if it deserves a +2, but I like to see a guy with a perfect winning streak.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-04-26 04:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-26 04:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
This sucked but I didn't want to ruin your streak.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-26 02:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Co ordination is out of sight within this sphere of me ,
the mind and heart so all confused ,the eyes are behind ,they cannot see." wazza.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-26 01:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was just thinking about you today.
Good to see a submission.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-26 01:36:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Spring and all the couples are a constant reminder of how dysfunctional I truly am.
+2 for this line (even plaigerized, because you admitted it) because I feel that way too!
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-04-26 01:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome back!