the real relationship question.... how do i kill her? (978 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.26 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <sendmehatemail.at.trigun.com> (View user info) at 2003-04-18 01:35:22 EDT
today i came back from a day of friends and fun only to pull into my garage to find it had been toilet papered, yes tee-peed if you will. among the terrible wasteland of paper i found a note from my last girlfriend. saying the equvilant of "im not as mean and evil as you think" and "why dont you even say hi to me in the halls?". ill put down some backround about my last girlfriend here for the story. when we broke up it was cause she has become so parinoid that i was cheating on her that for three months she said nothing about it watched every move i made and still after no evidence what so ever she dumped me. anyway long story short we had had alot of fun togather and i neaver cheated on her. we loved to play pranks on eatchother and i feel its my dutie to pay her back for the terrible monstrosity she has made of my garage. here is my question..what do i do in return, so far on the list we have simply returning her toilet paper. and since shes does newspaper delivery in the morning i figured ide relocate her bundles of newspaper to her roof for her to find in the morning. included in all of this will be a note from me to her cause well we had alot of fun and its been awhile, it was somewhat my fault in the end of our relationship it wouldent hurt to be friends with the crazy girl..well that can wait, right now i need a ladder and a few dead animals.. but what else ..what else
User Reviews
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-04-18 13:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
chipolatte, you're such a bitch. And *I'm* the one that's called a bitch... go figure.
Sendmehatemail - Sounds like "you's in LOVE," honey... when do you fall to your knees and propose? :)
Loren
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-04-18 13:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
my advice would be to use periods when writing. see? it's not that hard.
Submitted by Brioski (user info) at 2003-04-18 13:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Get into her house under the guise of a truce, ask to use her bathroom. Remove shower head, if it is possible to remove it and place a boullion cube of your choice (chicken, beef, either is good). When she gets in the shower the water will seem find at first but after about a minute she gets a chicken or beef shower... classic.
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-04-18 12:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I used to love her but I had to kill her
I had to put her, six feet under
and I can still hear her complain
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-04-18 10:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Even better:
Invite her out for drinks, spike hers with Roofies, then when she passes out bring her back to your house, shave her head, write "I HATE SPICKS AND NIGGERS" all over her face in black Magnum marker, then leave her at the entrance to the nearest ghetto subway station.
Submitted by jjgoreha (user info) at 2003-04-18 09:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get a maxi pad, use a red magic marker on it, and stick it over the liscense plate of her car. Then, do the same thing to EVERYTHING in her house, so when she opens the fridge, what does she see? Maxi pad. Open the blinds? Pad on the window. etc, etc... we did this to our teacher in grade 9. It was funny then...
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-04-18 09:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Sneak into her bedroom while she's sleeping, and piss on her face. Golden showers are the bomb diggedy."
I agree with DDT.
Submitted by heatherm (user info) at 2003-04-18 05:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
kill her pet and leave a note that says "its ok, im as bad of a guy as you always thought i was. bitch. who's the boss?"
hahahahaa
Submitted by tpx187 (user info) at 2003-04-18 04:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Super Soaker full of gasoline. Spray it on her front lawn, write a note if you want. But either way its gonna be there for a long, long time.
Sneak in her room and kill her.
Burn her house down.
Eggs to the house are always easy and effective.
Paintball her when she delivering her papers.
Piss on her newspaper stacks. Or shit.
Take a garbage bag of shit and spread it on her driveway (you need a lotta shit though)
Slashing of the tires.
Bolgna on her car. (never been used by me, but I heard it takes the paint off)
You and a few guys go up to her car and tip it over, its a lot easier than you think. And its fuckin halrious.
OR Just call the cops on her ass for pulling that shit.
Bobbs
Submitted by Queen (user info) at 2003-04-18 03:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you were looking for something mean, you could always buy some super glue and glitter, and on the hood of her car (or sidewalk for the less illegal way) leave your note to her in glitter. Just say what you feel, write it in superglue then pick a glitter of your choice and sprinkle it over the glue. Wa-laa- a masterpeice sure to piss anyone off. And the old peanut butter under the door handle (or i've seen dog shit used) on the car.......gross but effective.
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-04-18 02:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tee pee her house, then hose it down. then hose it down with kerosene. then light the kerosene...
OR
kill her pet and leave a note that says "its ok, im as bad of a guy as you always thought i was. bitch. who's the boss?"
Submitted by HeavensWalls (user info) at 2003-04-18 01:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Does she have any pets she keeps outside?
Submitted by fireflab (user info) at 2003-04-18 01:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
exgirlfriends are cool to keep contact with...
i have a girl...but i'm getting touch with three of my ex'es.
you just never know..
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-04-18 01:42:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sneak into her bedroom while she's sleeping, and piss on her face. Golden showers are the bomb diggedy.
Submitted by HeavensWalls (user info) at 2003-04-18 01:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The flaming Bag-O-Shit on the front porch always made me laugh, but you need to resort to more original measures here. Indeed...