I believe in fairytales (800 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.67 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lojope <lojope.at.juno.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-27 22:03:14 EDT
"I believe that one second of romance is worth the hours of crying that may come later."
My own words. Do I believe that? Really believe it?
"I do not know if love can truly last. I do not know if you will never leave me.
But I know that if you do, I will have loved you with all I am, with all I have, until that very moment. That I have absorbed every bit of you that I possibly could before you went away. That I have made every goodbye all I could make it, until it is the last goodbye.
And above all, I know this.
No matter what happens to us in the future. This night, as I left you in the distance, I loved you.
And this moment, as I write these words, I love you still.
And that makes every ache worth it, every moment that I feel them. "
Also my own words. Written about a boy I am no longer with. Do I mean them? Really. Do I live like I do? I meant them when I wrote them, what seems like a lifetime ago. Do I mean them now, that the prophesy has been fullfilled? Or was it all just something I said in the heat of romance?
It's easy to be flowery and romantic and noble when your love life is going well.
It's not so easy when the curtain falls and reality and pain hit you in the face like a steel pipe.
But pain and pleasure come from the same place. In fact, there is little difference between the two as far as brainwaves and chemicals are involved. It is the same with fear and love. They are the same emotion, just to different extremes.
You cannot have one without the other.
Things hurt. Everything hurts. Everything good comes with bad. Every time you love it comes with fear. Every pleasure carries hurt.
You cannot live life and come out unscathed. You cannot make all the right choices and never be injured.
Because even the right choices involve pain and loss of some kind.
The moment you lose your virginity, you open yourself up to a whole new kind of beautiful and wonderful intimacy. But you also set yourself up for betrayal and hurt unmatched by any you had before.
So what do you do? Choose to never have sex so you'll never know that kind of pain? If you do that, you will be losing out on one of the most beautiful things you can share with another human being. And missing out on that is a pain all of its own.
You cannot find the choice that doesn't hurt.
All you can do, is make the choice that makes the pain bearable. Make the choice that is worth the pain.
I DO believe one second of romance is worth the hours of crying that may come later.
And I DID love that boy with everything I was, with everything I had. Nothing that has happened since can take that away from me. No pain can make that night on the plane where I wrote that post go away.
Nothing can take away the fact that I know what it felt like that night in the graveyard, that night in his room with the wine, that night in the driveway.....
Nothing can hurt so much now that can invalidate what we had in those moments. I had love in my hand, even if I don't have it now.
You may think it's silly. You may think I am naive. You may think I'm stupid to believe in fairytales.
But I don't care.
I believe in fairytales, because I have lived in fairytales. They have never lasted forever like I'd hoped, but that doesn't matter. That's not the point of them anyway.
Maybe the "happily ever after" never comes true. But the magic moments between there and "once upon a time" is where the value lies anyway. It is the kisses on rooftops with the city lights below, and the catching fireflies in the moonlight, and the rolling in the sand as the waves crash around you... they are the things that hold value.
They are the things that make the pain, all that inevidable pain, totally worth it. They are the supports that get you through the storm. They are the reason you get back up when you've been knocked down.
I have lived all of those moments.
And they are the reason that I am not giving up.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-02 17:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
all this post needs is a unicorn, and we're set!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-04-28 12:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its an old saying but it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. I believe this myself.
Lovely post
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-28 09:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-28 03:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have to agree with god chicken.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-04-28 02:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.
-Mother Teresa
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-04-27 23:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-04-27 23:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, I take it you are one of those "the glass is ahalf full" people?
Seriously, I'm impressed that someone has the strength to be so positive and optimistic in the face of obvious pain. I believe that everyone gets what they deserve (either good or bad, depending on what they are), but when they get it is another story. I hope your happiness comes soon.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what?
You need to give yourself a big pat on the back.
It is commendable for a person to be able to look at a painful situation in the way that you are now. It's definitely not an easy thing to do, and you should be proud of yourself.
Most people clam up and vow never to be vulnerable again, (which, as you pointed out, would cheat them of the flip side of the coin.....happiness).
Anyway, I hope that while you are accepting whatever has happened in the past, you are also taking the time to notice and appreciate your strength and resilience. Sometimes it takes trying experiences for us to notice these things about ourselves.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Posts like this make me feel less weird for having posted similar things in the past.
So, uh, thanks for that.
;)
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this part:
"Maybe the 'happily ever after' never comes true. But the magic moments between there and 'once upon a time' is where the value lies anyway."
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful Lojope.. from one fairy princess to another..
And Loki, you're right, Diet coke with lime IS better....
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I will not pretend that I know a lot on the subject of love. I have loved and I certainly have learned. But I have no real advice (not that you were asking) or anything much to say, except:
Things change.
And friends (and boyfriends) leave.
And life doesn't stop for anybody.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We never killed the fireflies. We let them all go after a few minutes.
Submitted by thehauntfest (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"catching fireflies in the moonlight"
Killing bugs is so romantic *SOB* Now I'm going to cry myself to sleep.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this too shall pass
life is too short for regrets
diet coke with lime is better than diet coke with vanilla
I should really go to bed now.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Said cherry is a fairytale
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-27 22:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel a certain kinship with you lojo. I will dream about your cherry tonight.