It's NOT my fault. (738 hits)
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Rating: 1.47 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cornnugget.at.gmail.com (hey hey!) (View user info) at 2005-04-28 00:12:21 EDT
"So tell me about your parents...?"
I did tell her. I told her how my mom had horrible mood swings, and how my dad was prone to bouts of irrational anger. She asked me to describe some of their interactions during these hectic times.
"Well," I said "Just normal fighting, I guess?"
"Give me an example?"
"Uh... well..." It's hard to think of examples of your parents fights, isn't it? People fight about stupid things after they've been married for years, but she requested an example, so I complied. "One time we were driving out west, along a mountain road. There were steep cliffs to our right and rocks towering over us on the left. My sister and I were in the back seat, and we were blowing into those candy boxes, you know the kind that squeak when you blow into them?"
"Hmm... no, I don't think I do?" She said.
"Well anyway, that's what we were doing. It stressed my mom out, and she began crying. Whenever my mom cried my dad liked to tease her about it. He'd lean in close, and laugh really loud. Once in a while he'd point, too. My sister and I thought it was funny, and we laughed with him. Of course this drove mom to more crying, and then she started screaming... and then my sister and I got scared and started crying... and then dad acted like he was going to swerve off the road which lead to more crying and screaming."
"I see."
"And then my parents started fighting, calling each other names and all that. My sister and I just retreated to our inner worlds, quite and safe in the back seat." When I finished my story I looked up at her to gauge her reaction.
She appeared sympathetic! Then she said, "Wow, sounds like you grew up in a very hostile environment... it's no wonder that you have a lot of issues to deal with now." She flipped through her notes and then asked another question, "So, tell me about your marriage?"
"Oh... well... it only lasted a year and a half... so, I don't think I even need to talk about that, do I?" It is a very insignificant thing in my life. Bad decision... nothing more nothing less. Her raised eyebrows signified that she didn't like my answer, and I was compelled to go on. "Well, I was having a hard time living at home, due to how often my dad and I argued... and then mom and I got in a fight right before I was supposed to go to Egypt. At that point I knew I needed to move out of my parents house, but I couldn't afford to live on my own. When he proposed to me, I knew I didn't love him, but I knew it would be easier to live with him than it would be to live with my parents, so I accepted."
"Hmmm... so you were seeking stability? Not surprising... go on...?"
"That's all."
"So, you had a rough childhood... lots of fighting and mood swings... you got married in order to find stability, and now... tell me about your relationships now?" She asked.
I furrowed my brows and thought about it. "I just want someone who's smart and funny and has nice lips, I guess."
"Hmmm..." It was beyond me what she could possibly get out of that sentence, but she seemed to get something from it. "Tell me about your last relationship?"
"Well, that depends on what you consider to be a relationship."
"The last guy you dated."
"Uh... "dated" dated, or...?"
"Or?"
"I don't date, generally. It's too uncomfortable."
"Not stable enough? I see... Hmm... So... you seem to be seeking the stability that you didn't have in your youth, this is interesting, isn't it?"
Yeah... That's how it went. Apparently I had such a horrible childhood that it made me moody, impulsive, irrational and picky.
Thanks a LOT mom and dad.
(I'm not sure therapy is for me. But I can see why some people do enjoy being a victim. It feels good to be able to blame everyone else for the problems in life.)
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-05 18:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it takes a long time to get fixed
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-28 23:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dunno.. sounds like a fairly normal childhood to me.
Happy Birthday!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-04-28 23:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your dad sounds like a pretty cool guy.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-28 22:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday, Nugget.
I don't think the point of therapy is to blame other people -- in fact, I know it's not. It's to find the reasons why you act the way you do so you can learn to work around them. It's about freeing yourself from self-destructive patterns. Also, it can feel pretty good to just talk to someone.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-04-28 12:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday!!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-28 12:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-04-28 12:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-28 12:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bummer
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-28 08:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do The Humpty Dance.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-04-28 07:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-04-28 07:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday Nugget
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-28 02:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where are my happy birthday wishes?
Oh I know... "you're too old".
I got it.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-28 02:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh you poor thing you--
Want my dick to suck on?
Ok.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-28 01:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You got it, it's easier to blame someone else than to face the problem.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-04-28 01:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Today is corn_nugget's birthday.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-28 01:32:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow Dave, that was pretty insightful. I was telling my friend all this, about how I thought my therapist (after one session) was just giving me things to "blame", and she said:
ahem
"Therapists aren't just listening to the stories you tell them, they are trying to see how you REACTED to these events that you tell them about. How did you react when your parents fought in the car? You turned inside and used your imagination to soothe you... is that what you do now?"
I think she should be a doctor. I'm biased though.
I have another apointment tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes. I could always make an uber-series of my therapy visits.
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-04-28 01:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There is a large difference between trying to find reasons for your actions and blaming others for your experiences. I tend to think good therapy (GOOD therapy) is all about understanding yourself.
People get programmed by those around them whether they like it or not. This is especially true of children. It's often true, though, that parents don't like to hear about the effects their actions have had on their children, and call this "blaming." It's not necessarily blaming, it's just looking for answers.
Why do we behave the way we do? Our behaviour patterns sure didn't fall out of the sky...
I'm also all for taking personal responsibility for your own actions. That's why I think it's important to understand the reasons for them. Once you have the answers, you can begin to take charge of your behaviour, which is the same thing as taking responsibility.
Unfortunately, once you begin to unravel the threads of causation in your behaviour, they can lead to some pretty awful things. Psychoses may get worse before they get better.
And then, there are always professional victims and shitty therapists who'll work the system for their own ends. That doesn't mean you can't use it to benefit you, though...
Good luck.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-04-28 01:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, it's your fault.
You're impossible to get along with for any extended period of time.
+1 to fuck the rating up.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-28 00:59:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm no math wizard... but shouldn't 0 ratings be neutral?
So a post with two 0's and one +2 should be +2?
No, that's not right.
These ratings confuse me, therefore, I'll go back to my old "Who cares" attitude about ratings. I can't figure it out enough to care about it.
Furthermore, this post isn't as good as it was IN MY MIND.
And I wonder if my previous stupid posts reflect on non-stupid posts? I may make up an alter just to see what my "true" rankings are.
Nah, too much trouble. Plus bart will spank me for being bad.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-04-28 00:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmm...incapacitating.
-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-28 00:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, Craigslist?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-04-28 00:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
quite quiet angels angles
same thing
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-04-28 00:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Deerrr Candy Bars!