Tom Allows a Friend to Voice his Thoughts on Ubersite (1626 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: BlackPantherRay
Rating: 1.16 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom Sorrell - sorrelltr.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2005-04-29 09:50:44 EDT
Hello good people of Ubersite. Tom Sorrell has been kind enough to allow me to use his account to post my dilemma. You see, my name is Ray, and I am an educated African American Man who would like to teach you White Folk (Honkies, if you will) about the lifestyle and beliefs of my urban brethren. As I said before, I am an educated man, not some hooligan who will rob you or say things such as: "You be my homie, yo homie, yo homie, it's ya birfday, yo homie. I gone get da liquor and get krunked in da club, yo homie, yo." Come now, that's silly. Who actually talks like that? Certainly not me.
As you can see, you people have nothing to be scared of. I am a very nice person. I also happen to be a Black Panther. But you know something, you all need a Black Panther on Ubersite so we can have Black Panther parties. Now I know what you Whities are thinking, Black Panther parties consist of a bunch of dudes with afros and military uniforms sitting around a smoke-filled basement sipping OE from a 40 while passing a blunt and talking about how evil the White Man is and how He has been holding us down for over 200 years, but it's not like that... not at all. In actuality, we all sit around a room and eat cake and ice cream while telling stories of first loves, unicorns, and how much we love you people. We're very friendly people, we Black Panthers.
Now, the reason I am using Tom's account, is because the leader (or Grand Dragon, if you will) of Ubersite has refused to allow me entry into the fraternity that is Ubersite. Apparently he's afraid I'll cause problems and scare all you White People. It's not like I'm going to come on here saying things like "I didn't land on Ubersite! Ubersite landed on me!" As I mentioned before, this is nonsense. I have requested membership several times and have been ignored each time. I even have a user name already created: "BlackPantherRay," but it's in the corner collecting dust like my Earth Wind and Fire records.
You see, I really want to post here. In fact, my first post was to be called "Black Panther Ray is Sitting on Top of the World," but since Mr. Cilfone has refused to communicate with me, I'm going to rename it: "Black Panther Ray is Sitting on Top of the World, but He Can't Register at Ubersite Because they Don't Allow Niggers in There."
Please allow me access, Mister Cilfone. I promise to behave.
User Reviews
Submitted by howto (user info) at 2005-05-02 11:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-02 07:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
meh
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-05-01 22:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-05-01 18:37:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
That was awesome.
===
I must admit that Eddie Murphy in his prime was one of the funniest people on the planet. The scene I referenced (from Beverly Hills Cop) is one of the funniest damned things I've ever seen.
They finally say he can have the hotel room and they tell him how much it costs. His reaction to that is freaking priceless. Just a blank stare...
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-05-01 18:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In fact, my first post was to be called "Black Panther Ray is Sitting on Top of the World," but since Mr. Cilfone has refused to communicate with me, I'm going to rename it: "Black Panther Ray is Sitting on Top of the World, but He Can't Register at Ubersite Because they Don't Allow Niggers in There."
That was awesome.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-05-01 17:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU'RE NOT REAL!!!!
Submitted by Wyellbee (user info) at 2005-04-30 20:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehe
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-04-30 20:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF I JUST NOTICED YOU PASSED BEEB ON THE MVA WHEN DID YOU LEAVE THE 30 SPOT?!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-30 10:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves a much better rating.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-04-30 10:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-30 04:35:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-30 04:02:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
There really aren't too many black people on Ubersite, eh?
And by "aren't too many", I mean I can not think of a single one.
===================================================
I am black.
---------------------------------------------
so am i... but i "pass"
don't you try talking shit to a sistah *head roll* you don't know me nigga!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-30 04:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-30 04:02:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
There really aren't too many black people on Ubersite, eh?
And by "aren't too many", I mean I can not think of a single one.
===================================================
I am black.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-30 04:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interestingly funny ha ha ,but if it isn't then it's interestingly sad.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-30 04:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There really aren't too many black people on Ubersite, eh?
And by "aren't too many", I mean I can not think of a single one.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-04-30 01:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was friggin' hilarious.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Matlock was a lawyer...
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-04-29 16:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:25:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-fuckinangans!
--
Well no kidding.
Seriously, you're deductive skills are unmatched. You're the David Caruso of Ubersite. Now just stand there, glare into the camera, put your hands on your hips, and mumble something like: "Tom SorrEEEELL... miiiiight be making this up."
Oh, and this is for you: ... ... ... ... ellipse ellipse ellipse ellipse
--------------------------------------------
DON'T YOU EVER COMPARE ME TO DAVID CARUSO. HE'S IN THE NO TALENT ASSCLOWN CATEGORY. IF YOU ARE GOING TO COMPARE MY DEDUCTIVE SKILLS TO A TRUE DETECTIVE, LIKE ANGELA LANSBURY OR MATLOCK.
Thank you.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-29 14:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed...very good.
Satire and ellipses can never be used enough.
Carry on!
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 12:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Herpes, doN't bE making fun oF the waY we AfriCan AmericaNs type... that'S racisT.
Submitted by Smoothe (user info) at 2005-04-29 12:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know, but I found this pretty freaking funny.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-04-29 12:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its true.....Bart the "bleeding heart liberal" keeps the doors shut on blacks.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-04-29 12:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I use ellipses... it's second nature to tap that button three times...
I don't remember how I picked up that nasty habit... but I can't stop if I try. I manaGed to kiCk this habit, whiCh I picked up fRom chattinG with someone who useD to do it all the tiMe, but the elliPses will stAy foreVer...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-29 12:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm Uber's token intellectual and all around babe magnet.
Did you get the order to cut my lawn yet, boy?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fartman, your hubcaps are on Goldie Hawn's van, and anyone who gets that reference gets a +2 from me.
Shlongy, hi. Who are yoU?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, jungle bunny.
Tell Tommy "Shlongy" says "fuck off"! I bet you think he's an idiot, too, right? You can tell me. It's not like it's a great big secret.
And have a great day!
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Where are my hubcaps?
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bart needs to start a black only ubersite, maybe blackersite. Otherwise he's no better than
republicans, who we all know continue to keep da black mans down.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*your deductive skills
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-fuckinangans!
--
Well no kidding.
Seriously, you're deductive skills are unmatched. You're the David Caruso of Ubersite. Now just stand there, glare into the camera, put your hands on your hips, and mumble something like: "Tom SorrEEEELL... miiiiight be making this up."
Oh, and this is for you: ... ... ... ... ellipse ellipse ellipse ellipse
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, Mr. Black. You and Tom must spend quite some time together.
Your use of punctuation such as the dreaded '...' is strikingly like what Tom uses in all of his posts. Especially the use of a single space right afterwards with the next word following.
Niger, Please.
Actually, to be correct geographically, it's Please, Niger.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-fuckinangans!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HONKEY!!
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-04-29 11:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sha-zam!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell mothafuckin yes!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"...has refused to allow me entry into the fraternity that is Ubersite."
i wish somebody would stop all these new alters from popping up. it's getting old.
but hoo-ray for the black panthers. i attend meetings regularly. they let me ride this thing called a "train." i always black out and forget what happened the night before, but they tell me i liked it. such good fellas.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:08:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
So you got like any car steros that you "found"?
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Yea, Tom gave me his. He doesn't know it yet, but he's going to "give" me his Platstation and car pretty soon. He's so generous... and scared of knives.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Asalaam alaikum
And that's the way we take 'em
And if we got to frisk you down
Then that's the way we shake 'em
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you got like any car steros that you "found"?
Submitted by TheEastman (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Thanks for lettin' a brother roll, Ray.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:01:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Aasalaam alaikum, brotha.
------------
Good morning, whitey.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-04-29 10:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aasalaam alaikum, brotha.
Submitted by Morlock (user info) at 2005-04-29 09:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, we had a black out on here once...
we caught him though.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-04-29 09:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I call shenanigans, though I wish I where wrong. Uber needs a bigger black representation to combat the bigotry around here.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-04-29 09:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not Tom. Tom is busy at work. My name is Ray, but I can't tell you my last name because I may or may not be on a government watch list. Tom lives in the same apartment complex as me, and he's the one who told me about this wonderful website.
I told him what was happnening, and asked if I could use his user name to post my dilemma. he agreed, because I held a knife to his throat... er, I mean, because he's very nice.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-29 09:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's a good thing we don't allow blacks on Ubersite or else we'd be just like those liberal colleges.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-04-29 09:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice try, Tom
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-04-29 09:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a special friend?