I am Shlongys Alter (560 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.08 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dr. Shabazz (View user info) at 2005-04-29 16:57:07 EDT
no, not me. Hidden101 is.
okay okay, actually i have a few suspects to name.
first off, if you actually think shlongy is a real person, then you are fucking crazy. the comments, general attitude, no 50 year old man is this pathetic. i've seen crazier shit concocted, so i wouldnt put this beneath an uberite to be smart enought to totally construct an online persona. a background, picture, date of birth, you dont need much to convince people. set up a new e-mail account, give out a fake one, or give them your work e-mail, it's simple really.
this is my top six suspected users that could possibly be a by-product of shlongy and i will explain my reasons within.
Habeeb Thomas
even though most people think that habeen is one of the most retarded people to ever grace a website, i can see that there is an intelligent person behind the name, but whoever habeeb is just has really, really shitty taste in comedy. the thing that i cannot explain is the complicated fact that Shlongy thinks habeeb is retarded, but what a better disguise? we also know habeeb spend a tremendous amount of time online, and Shlongy could be a just release for such a love/hate kind of person.
Method
do i even have to explain myself on this one? i'm pretty sure that method was on ubersite.com before bart even registered it. he has approx. 198 alters, and he's had a sort of "hiatus" lately. I think that this would be another way to kill some time when you run out of juice such as method has. Shlongy's low-brow, sexually demeaning humor is just the sort of thing that i could see being the sort of "crown jewel" of alters, since he is pretty much the all-knowing king. even though people joke about this one a lot, i still think that this is one of the top culprits that we should investigate.
Adamdidit2u
This one is another no-brainer. Mostly shitty jokes with a slight twist that I hear a million times with a flash of brilliance now and then. they both have id numbers around relatively the same time, and even the way that they comment on people's post is eerily similiar. granted, shlongy has never rated adam well at all, but then again adam only cares about hits and we all know that by now. we also know that adam spend a tremendous amount of time rating and makind posts for ubersite, so i'm not sure if he would have enough time to maintain shlongy. but then again, shlongy has never posted anything more than a few paragraphs i'd say.
Godlovesalittlelovin
These next three are going to be absolute shots in the dark. i'm picking glall on a different sort of thinking. overall, they have rated each other respectively well, but this conflicts with the whole shlongy "i don't give a fuck" attitude. another large reason i chose glall is because that they both pretty muched slowed down their account activity around the same time. maybe it is coincidence, maybe it's not. anyways, the negative in this scenario is that glall has stated a few times he doesn't use alters and never will. perfect guise to set one up? wouldn't glall come up with something a bit more clever and outrageous anyways than shlongys more deadpan humor?
Youarsoghey
another shot in the dark. Youarsoghey kind of left the uber scene around the time that shlongy hit, and I remember reading quite a few comments where he was very unhappy with how the ratings had gone from honest to ass-kiss. shlongy is known for being brutally honest in his reviews, but i don't know if youarsoghey ever really cared that much about his social status, so why wouldn't he just start being honest with his account? Like I said, another long shot but still something to think about.
Circe
You cannot rule out women for this. I wouldn't put it beneath FilthyAssistant either. Intelligent, crass, and very knowing of how a man thinks and acts. People don't expect a women to have a male alter, but what more of a genius idea? Circe just seems to fit the shlongytude more than any other, but she's from australia while shlongy claims the united states, and has knowledge of many us landmarks. another way to get the dogs off your heels? probably the least likely, but if it was circe that would be pretty awesome.
i leave you with shlongy sucking some breast milk from an ethiopean.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-07 18:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Musta missed this masterpiece.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-30 12:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I kind of wish that fatass Shabazz would do ANOTHER post, with brief synopsis' of OTHER posters who "could be Shlongy". This is pretty well thought out.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-04-30 09:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ever notice BartBart stopped posting when I showed up?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-30 08:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Apologies to Tigre.
I have only been referring to Shabazz as "piggy" because he is a fuckwit.
Not because you look like a pig.
Submitted by Santa_Claus_ (user info) at 2005-04-30 08:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate you.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-30 07:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58564
Loser
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-30 07:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
TigrePaper on AOL i think
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-30 07:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I haven't seen tigre around much.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-30 07:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:53:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
i wouldnt be suprised if tigre has committed suicide over all you guys bashing his camwhore. i feel bad
there it goes. back to good old evil
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I'm gonna find out if this is true.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-04-30 06:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:38:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
Clearly you have no idea what you're talking about. Habeeb has been on Uber a lot longer than Shlongy. Shlongy has no known alters. You also listed 3 MVA's. There's no way ONE person would spend their time getting two accounts to MVA status. Habeeb is 12 on the MVA, Youarsoghey used to be in the 20's, and Adamdidit2u might as well be an MVA, he has over 110k. You sir, are a retard for even thinking so
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You got him backwards. The post was saying Shlongy is the alter of one of those six people.
I want to give this a -2 for being completely fucking worthless, but
I want to give this a +2 because you've obviously done a ridiculous amount of research and critical thinking, and taking into consideration the fact that nobody gives a fuck, you've done much more than anybody else could have, and IF Shlongy were an alter (he is not), you made such convincing arguments for a few of these I may actually believe you. But
I am going to give this a -1 for a collection of other reasons I dont feel like writing about.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-04-30 06:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-29 18:32:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
You are making remarkably little sense. Given that Shlongy has posted several pictures of himself and claims to have met other Uberusers it is safe to believe him real.
Scary as that idea may be.
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quite right.
Also I really wish people would stop thinking that is your picture.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-30 06:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For wazza not to +2 a post?
Wow, just wow.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-30 06:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is the definition of gay? does that mean ,faggot, poofter, arse fucker,.
Submitted by Santa_Claus_ (user info) at 2005-04-30 06:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I remember skipping your hous every Christmas. Is that why you're so sad?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-30 06:36:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-04-29 22:24:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
The only way to make up for being an ugly shit, is to be funny, original and have some personality.
See jpgreening
See fattony
See Shlongy
You fail at life.
==========================================
I take this to mean I am either not ugly; or I am unfunny, unoriginal, and have no personality.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-30 06:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus feckin' Christ.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-04-29 23:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How is it like having to wear a helmet 24/7?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-04-29 22:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-29 21:07:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking hell, I thought you'd have been made into Sweet & Sour by now but you're still here.
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That has got to be one of the more original zings I've heard in a while! I can't stop snickering.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-04-29 22:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The only way to make up for being an ugly shit, is to be funny, original and have some personality.
See jpgreening
See fattony
See Shlongy
You fail at life.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-29 21:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking hell, I thought you'd have been made into Sweet & Sour by now but you're still here.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-04-29 20:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
18,000 people my ass.
ubersite is made up of about 250 people, the rest are alters.
except for yours truly.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-04-29 18:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
God damnit...
25 days is how long your sad ass was gone.
The world was almost happy again.
But sadly, God no only let WhatTheHell back, he also failed to strike you down...
What a sad day.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-29 18:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are making remarkably little sense. Given that Shlongy has posted several pictures of himself and claims to have met other Uberusers it is safe to believe him real.
Scary as that idea may be.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-04-29 18:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"no 50 year old man is this pathetic"
------------------
Trust me. I've dated a few. They can definitely be "that pathetic."
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-29 18:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
In that case, maybe you should make an alt.
One that posts something worthwhile once in awhile, unlike your present account.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-29 18:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll neutralize my previous -2 with this +2 because, even though you couldn't be more wrong about Shlongy, and toss in the fact that you're a fatfuck assranger, I can't argue with your finely crafted argument and theorem, if you will.
But you're still wrong. And fat. And, most assuredly, gay.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
GAY!!!!
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:47:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
first off i am not a FUCKING ALTER. i hate them and i have no respect for people with them. second, lechuga, your fucking retarded. what does mva have to do with anything? so? like the wouldnt create an alter out of boredom? godamn idiots
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off.
An alt accusing someone of being an alt.
That's rich.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Clearly you have no idea what you're talking about. Habeeb has been on Uber a lot longer than Shlongy. Shlongy has no known alters. You also listed 3 MVA's. There's no way ONE person would spend their time getting two accounts to MVA status. Habeeb is 12 on the MVA, Youarsoghey used to be in the 20's, and Adamdidit2u might as well be an MVA, he has over 110k. You sir, are a retard for even thinking so.
Please go away, you stupid, fat, ugly, no-talent loser.
Submitted by clumeister (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Black Spage Goo...
sorry :P
Submitted by clumeister (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am a walking flesh bag full of alien balck space goo!!
Submitted by stevendurel (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There was a month not too long ago when I was suspected of being everyone's alter. From College-Guy to Shlongy, from Carrol Richards to Kai, I was supposedly them...Then people lost interest...I'm so lonely now.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I am naaive, but I actually believe Shlongy is.......... Shlongy.
You really need to get a new picture.
-Dave
Submitted by Mr.Brightside (user info) at 2005-04-29 17:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who cares? real or not, his stuff is usually funny.
and you are ugly