Religious Zealots Getting You Down? (890 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.35 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Beep! Beep! I'm A Jeep (View user info) at 2005-04-30 12:33:33 EDT
Is it me, or does there seem to be an unusual amount of negative religious activity going on today? All of a sudden, there's a group of those religious doom harbingers preaching that the world is coming to an end - this time, for real! - because of some medieval saint called Malachy.
Supposedly St. Malachy had a vision or something that told him the apocalypse would come in the time of 112 popes. Ratzinger, a.k.a. Benedict XVI, is #111. The name Benedict, according to Malachy, is important because the 111th pope would be Benedictine. That Ratzinger is not a Benedictine, people say, is not important; that he chose the name Benedict is important. Sounds like rock-solid proof to me; isn't this riveting?
"The parable of the fig tree in Matt 24:32 seems to say that the tribulation will start sometime between 2007 and 2018 AD," one of these doom-websites is saying. Here's what Matthew 24:30-32 says, in the New International Bible:
"At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other. Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near."
I couldn't find ANY reference, figurative or literal, to any range of time, much less a specific year. Sure, it talks about Judgment Day, but were does it say anything about the range of 2007-2018? "2012 AD is the ancient Mayan year for doomsday," they say.
Oh, yeah. That's bulletproof.
Another important piece of information is that "Ratzinger has a nasty past as he was part of Hitler's Nazi party and served as a prison guard." Where the fuck are these people getting this information? Except for references to Bible verses, there are NO CITATIONS of sources on this page.
Maybe I'm skeptical because these idiots weren't right the last billion times they said the end was near; I don't know.
But I have a solution to this problem of people forcing doomsday propaganda on us: I am forming a religion, which is centered on this rule: the one and only way to get into heaven is to sacrifice these force-feeding pests to Satan.
User Reviews
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-24 03:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
reclac for cock-sucker reviews #10/11+16 and a quid pro quo
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-10-12 13:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
orange crush
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-04 01:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Our planet won't be free of this filth until we wipe out Christianity. I'll lead the way...
Submitted by celine (user info) at 2005-10-04 01:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You can't talk to religious people, because they will just tell you that you are wrong because god said so.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-10-04 01:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
To be honest, 2012 is in the back of my mind...
You don't create a civilisation out of nothing, build pyramids, planetariums and advanced mathematics and calendars, just so you can specifically choose a date millenia in the future for nothing.
Plus, the Bible Code said shit about 2012. And this is the last Buddha, isn't it?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2005-10-04 00:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
interesting
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-30 19:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now THIS is a retalitory -2.
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2005-07-29 20:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All these "prophets" say that it will happen within a few years to gain interest from people that scare easily.
I remember seeing an informercial about a "psychic" that predicted the end of the world would come in 1999 at the hands of three nations. I'm still waiting on that one.
Submitted by entrophize (user info) at 2005-07-28 08:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yaaaawn.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-23 19:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by bulldog (user info) at 2005-05-22 01:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go to shitfucks favorite website.
http://www.jackinworld.com
Then fuck off and die.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-07 23:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Beep, beep. Minus 2, you suck!
Thanks for the hits, dipshit.
Played like a virtuoso.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-07 14:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't like to retalitory -2 because I'm not a 17 year old dipshit but this one "feels so right".
I particularly like how you picked up on the "joke" in my last post that you rated.
Admit you didn't even read it, motherfucker, and maybe , the next time I run into you somewhere, you'll escape with your face intact.
Submitted by stevetherugbyman (user info) at 2005-04-30 18:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In short, YES! I used to identify with the Republican party, but it has been relegated to a bunch of bible thumping nut jobs. :(
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-30 15:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2005-04-30 12:41:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember growing up in a small town rural educational system. Some days tens, if not hundreds of students didn't show up because they were praying to the lord. The world was supposed to end that day.
Then they came to school the next day.
======================
And then when anybody confronted them about the end not occuring, they simply stated that their prayers worked, right?
Fuckers. The lord works in mysterious ways, my ass.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-04-30 14:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-04-30 14:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have thought the screen name 'Lucifer Sam' ideal for this kinda post. I liked this.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-04-30 14:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it needs to be said that nearly all religions that sucker their followers with a "2nd coming" say it will occur in their own lifetime.
The mormons are the most wack fools of the bunch... They even claim Joseph Smith to be a 'prophet' because he predicted the civil war around 1832... Nevermind that the Missouri Compromise was made in 1820 and people back then commonly knew that the war was coming in due time.... these decisions made simply delayed civil war, over and over....
And then there are people who lie and make up excuses to defend the church in the face of simple, factual information by going to lengths that would make the most extreme conspiracy theorist proud.
Submitted by Omaha (user info) at 2005-04-30 13:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All true believers are fools. The ones that read the bible and believe it word for word, too near sighted to look up and find the inconsistencies. You get enough of those crack pots to pervade society..you get the middle east. One gigantic shit hole. You go too far the other way and you get China, both a shit hole of death and poverty.
We are being pulled both ways, stay in the middle.
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-04-30 13:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The world has already ended. They just don't know it yet.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-30 12:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Always good to see people exercise a little critical thinking.
Though your username is so retarded I checked to see if you were Electro.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2005-04-30 12:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember growing up in a small town rural educational system. Some days tens, if not hundreds of students didn't show up because they were praying to the lord. The world was supposed to end that day.
Then they came to school the next day.