Necrosiac - Endgame and Epilogue (1203 hits)
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Rating: 1.87 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2005-05-01 00:29:24 EDT
NECROSIAC 43 ENDGAME
The Dead had him.
Their cold fingers dug deep into his exposed flesh. Their hands pulled his hair and wrapped around him, holding him tight and completely immobile.
Their rancid breath filled his nostrils as he struggled and grunted in vain to fight back with every ounce of his new strength, but it was useless and he knew it.
He could feel the contagion writhing on them try to force its way through his wounds then pull back quickly as if his blood were boiling.
He swore and fought and then finally gave up as Spivey's fearful voice filled his ear.
"Oh Shit, he's coming. You couldn't follow the fucking plan could you?"
Then another voice, this one dry and aged like a desert wind sliding over baked stone sounded out.
"Mattaius Pitt."
The hand holding him by the hair on the back of his head pulled back and he found himself face-to-face with a red skinned, emotionless, Luis Penance.
"I know your face."
He made to answer with a gob of spit but a hand tightened around his throat and he found himself gagging instead.
"The last Twistcaster" Penance continued "Hero, murderer and fool. Your power will be the glue that holds it all together"
Penance turned from him and strode to the throne as the horde carried him behind, stopping wordlessly so that he was held before the Necrosiac where he sat on his flesh bound seat.
"You hate me as you hated my daughter. You despise me for what I am, even though I am a creature such as you. A man out of place in the world"
The hand at his throat relaxed its grip and Mattaius hoarsely barked his response through swollen vocal chords.
"You aren't a man Penance. You're much less. You twisted your children then left them to carry on your depraved work while you festered inside of them like fucking parasite!"
"I did no such thing" Luis replied softly "I did what any good father would do. I guided them then let them do as they pleased. I gave them the tools to find their way and then the freedom to use them. I love them in a way your kind could never understand and I ensured they would go on, as they do now..."
Penance placed one clawed red hand over his thin chest.
"... in here. Inside of me"
"Bullshit"
"That's it Boss. Piss him off even more" Spivey interjected.
Penance leaned forward and looked at him sadly for a moment then spoke again.
"A familiar... how quaint. You know Pitt, it pains me to honor someone as blind as yourself, to gift you with being a part of what is to come. It is not an easy thing to sit before your enemy and give of yourself. I don't believe it is something you could do were our situations reversed, so before I bind that which makes you what you are, to what I will become... a story. A fable so that you might understand the way of things."
Penance glanced quickly at the undead surrounding him and suddenly Mattaius felt himself forced hard to his knees on the unforgiving asphalt of the street.
"At the dawning of the world when Hell was fresh, therein lived a Demon, a creature of immense power, highly regarded by his brethren and favorite of the Lord of the Pit himself. He was the strongest of his kind and followed his master's wishes without fail for a millennia, gaining power and status amongst the horde, until one day the Dark Lord realized that his favorite minion had become his equal and shattered him into two thousand pieces before casting him up from Hell and into the world."
"The Demon wandered the land of the living for many years, bereft of his strength, powerless to influence the living or dead. He wandered from tribe to tribe until one day, within the city of Gadarenes, he found a man of dark bloodlines. He entered the man and found himself renewed of his strength. He found himself a living creature of Hell once again but his power was weak. It needed time to grow within its flesh cage and so he took the man to live in the tombs in the wilderness and taught him many dark things, away from the fear and persecution of the ignorant townsfolk."
"Then one day, as he was nearing the peak of his becoming, when he was almost at his ascension to Godhood, a new being, free of the whims of Jehova and Beelzebub, he found himself in the company of the first Cleric."
"The Cleric sat with him awhile and then asked the man his name, and the Demon replied, with a title most fitting"
Mattaius glanced up at the winged figures darting in and out of the black cloud overhead then muttered the name in inadvertent unison with his captor.
"Legion."
Penance smiled then moved to sit cross legged on the ground in front of him.
"Yes. Legion was the name he gave himself, for he had spent many years wandering the land - splintered and lost - before becoming whole again within his host"
Mattaius tried to pull his good arm free, to rip the face off the madman in front of him, but the Dead still had him firmly in their icy grip, and his effort was as futile as everything he'd tried since they'd fallen on him.
Penance continued, oblivious to Pitt's effort.
"The Cleric was a false prophet but a man of power. He understood the origin of the entity before him so he marshaled his magic - in twisted righteousness - and cast Legion from his host and into a herd of swine. He denied Legion his rightful destiny then told the man to take his place among the multitude and proclaim him a prophet. The man feared the Cleric and did as he was told and the Demon was left shattered again and awash in the sea into which the swine had fled"
"I love a happy endings" Mattaius grunted.
"Indeed?" Penance replied "But that is the beginning Mr. Pitt. For you see, the man's soul had been forever marked by Legion. He was touched and his bloodline bound to the power of that which had been cast from him, but each child also held the tainted touch of the Cleric. Generations went by, cut off from their rightful place with the lost champion of Hell, unaware of the bond they held in the Demon's dark fate, until a man of touched blood joined the ranks of the Necromancer and discovered the Trinity. He discovered the unholy means with which to open himself to Legion again, and so was born the first Necrosiac"
Luis sat and watched him for a moment in contemplation, his face a mask of anticipation, and Mattaius guessed he was waiting for some sign of acknowledgement.
"Listen Penance, I've been shot at, bitten, beat up, infected and worse. I've seen good men die at the hands of your twisted children. I've seen innocence torn apart and madness creep out of every festering hole in the city. I'm tired and beat and sick of all the bullshit. You're going to do what you're going to do and we both know it. I could care less about your fucking stories and you don't need my understanding. You've come to end me, so do it. I'd rather cease to exist than listen to your pompous fuckwittery one more second"
Penance's face turned into a snarl and Mattaius closed his eyes in anticipation of his end, but to his surprise, his final judgment didn't come, as the dimming twilight surrounding him filled with the dry cackle of the Necrosiac.
"Soon enough" the madman chuckled. "You will have your end and I will have my Destiny and the world will go on forever changed, but first, we play. It would be callous of me to give my daughter's murderer a quick death after all."
Penance stood and smiled and the gloom surrounding him filled with the sound of cracking bone as the throne began to grow and change, until it wasn't a throne any longer but an inverted cross, dripping with gore and covered in spikes.
"Suffer"
No sooner had the command left the Necrosiacs lips than Mattaius found himself being flipped and carried backwards towards the cross, firmly held by the horde and completely helpless to save himself.
The spikes were sharp, jagged and long and he screamed as they pierced through his back, ankles and wrist, binding him firmly to the cross and filling him with biblical agony.
"GOD!"
The cry shot out of him, borne on his failed will, and he opened his eyes to beg for it to end, to find himself staring at the amused inverted face of his tormentor.
"Don't bother Mr. Pitt" Penance hissed "From what I understand, he didn't help the Cleric either"
Mattaius screamed again as the bones jutting through his wrists and ankles curled at the ends to further hold him in place.
He watched through tear filled eyes as the Necrosiac turned from him then gestured towards a tall Native woman, still held in thrall by the pink haze of the seductress magic.
She blinked then took a step forward, her long straight black hair lying limply around the soft features of her face, her hands held unconsciously beneath her round pregnant belly, where it stood out against the plain white shirt under her open parka.
"Come child"
She smiled as if her greatest dream had come true, then took the Necrosiac's hand and stood beside him, to face Mattaius.
"There are worse things than leaving this life Mr. Pitt" Penance growled "There are things far worse than traveling from here to Heaven or Hell"
Penance turned towards the woman then put his hand on her ripe belly, closed it into a fist and pulled it back as if ripping something out of her.
She stood still for a moment and then the smile disappeared from her face and she screamed then dropped lifelessly to the ground.
Penance walked forward and held out his hand to show Mattaius twin orbs of white light, where they lay in his hand, beautiful and pure and awash in the brown, yellow, and green magic that seemed to ooze from Penance, as if he were made of everything foul in the world.
"This is what you call innocence. This is why you weep and smile and give yourselves to false love. These are the paltry souls of a Mother and her unborn Daughter. These are the things your kind claims to covet. You speak of them in your poetry and kill them in your wars and you dare to judge me AS EVIL!?"
Penance grabbed Mattaius by the hair with his free hand and pulled his face close.
"Fools' he spat "You destroy the world for this... this... shit!"
Mattaius cried out again, this time in rage, while Penance spit into his palm and held it up for him to watch, as the twin points of light slowly turned a sickly brown before fading to nothing.
"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I'M GONNA RIP YOU APART"
He strained against his bonds despite the pain, and the weakness that was growing within his, as the fluid animating him drained onto the ground beneath. He screamed and fought while Spivey begged him not to move, and then gave up as the night filled with the Necrosiacs cackle once again.
Penance stooped then ran one bony long nailed finger through the blood pooling beneath the cross and placed it in his mouth. He closed his eyes, and then stood up quickly, his face a mask of disgust as if his mouth were full of shit, and spat onto the ground.
"What are you..."
His question was cut short as something large and fleshy smashed into him and Mattaius realized that Madeline Pasteur had finally found her prey.
The impact of their collision carried them beyond Mattaius' view and almost immediately Spivey's pained voice sounded in his ear.
"This is it Boss. Get us out of here!"
He tried to free himself again but he'd lost too much blood and lacked the strength to do anything but increase his agony, and suddenly he knew that he didn't care. All at once, he understood that the weakness in him wasn't just blood loss. It was the fading of his will to live. It was the inability to envision an existence as a dead man, an eternity of un-life, plagued by the memories of what it was to be warm and alive.
"Boss?"
"Forget it Spivey. We're done"
"Fuck that and fuck you and all this bullshit!" his familiar shouted "I had faith in you, you bastard!"
"Even if I wanted too I couldn't Spive. I don't have the strength"
He felt Spivey slide from one Spike to another and the corner of his fading eyes lit up with bright flashes as his tattoo tried to free him with its own magic.
Somewhere to his left came the sound of a scream that was not human and not Penance and he realized the battle was coming to an end.
"I can't budge them!" Spivey shouted "C'mon Chief HELP ME!"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Idunno! Something, anything, give me a Miracle!"
Mattaius found the strength to raise his head as the agony in his body faded to a dull throb, much like his wounded hand had, then caught something out of his eye and let his head drop as Penance made his way towards him.
"Fuck it Spive"
A rough hand grabbed him by the hair again and he let his eyelids go to half mast, then opened them wide, face to face with something other than the Necrosiac.
A man with a shattered face knelt before him. His old eyes sad and yellowed in the way he knew only a Necromancer's could be.
The grey haired man brought his blasted face close and tried his best to speak through torn lips and shattered teeth. He sputtered something that sounded like "Forever" or "For Trevor" and then he was pulling on the bone that pinned Mattaius' wrist to the cross.
A moment later the bone gave way with a loud snap and the old Necromancer turned towards his other hand then stopped, shuddered and fell lifeless to the ground, his head nothing more than oozing grey pulp.
"Boss! C'mon. Don't you see? You've changed! You're not a Twistcaster but you're..."
Spivey's panicked voice filled him with enough strength to raise his head again and he found himself looking at Louis Penance badly mangled body.
The Red Man stood before him in gory glory. His stomach was torn open and one long ropy chord of intestine hung down to his knees. A large gash ran the length of his left shoulder and it hung askew as if it might fall away from his body at any moment. His face was cut deep, the flesh of one cheek hanging loosely, exposing the wet bone beneath and part of his jaw.
He took a step forward then smiled despite his wounds and held up the pulped remains of the Necromancer's brain in one hand, and the severed head of Madeline Pasteur in the other.
"I'm done playing"
Penance raised his hands into the air and turned his head skyward.
Mattaius watched in horror as the vortex at the center of the cloud began to turn faster and a strong pungent wind kicked up, jostling him agonizingly against the cross. The wind grew stronger then focused on its master and Penance lifted slowly in the air, stopped a few feet from the ground, and began to turn in unison with it.
The night sky filled with the howls of the clouds inhabitants and suddenly they were streaming towards the Necrosiac en masse, entering his body as it shook and added its own howl to theirs.
"BOSS!"
Mattaius yelled in pain as he ripped the arm the Necromancer had freed from the remaining spikes that pinned it to the cross, then tried to reach over to work on the bone in his other wrist. He strained against the bones running through his muscles and organs, holding him in place, but try as he might, he couldn't bring his good hand far enough along his extended arm.
"Can't Spive..."
"He's almost finished!"
He tried again and yelled out in agony then stopped as a sudden flash of blinding insight filled his head, brought on by the echoes of his familiar's words.
<"Were a Twistcaster. You don't die and come back to the way things were Chief. You don't ever come back the same. There's always a price to pay.">
He saw himself standing in front of the car on the highway above town. He watched in disjointed unreality as a flake of Mobian magic fell from the sky into his open palm then turned silver and blinked out.
He closed his hand and then the vision changed and he was sailing over the undead and through the Blazecaster flame towards Lillith's snarling face, unharmed by its raw power. He saw himself dragging her as she screamed and kicked and the he watched her sailing towards the open flame of the church - naked and scarred - the black glow surrounding her strangely dull, and then the vision changed again and he was standing over the man in the mechanics coveralls. He hovered above himself, looking down at the man's unconscious form and realizing for the first time, that the haze of Seductress magic wasn't there. The pink haze had been gone when he left the man as if it had been snuffed out.
As if it had been killed.
All at once the howling wind ceased and he looked up in time to see Luis Penance drop to the road in a heap as the horde looked stoically on.
"Boss"
Mattaius looked at the silver blob that was his free hand as if for the first time.
"I AM BECOME!"
Two thousand and one voices issued from the Necrosiacs mouth as he stood up on hoofed feet and extended his great red leathery wings.
"Spive." he grunted weakly
"Yeah?"
"Bring him here."
Almost immediately, a white cloud shot out from the vicinity of Spivey's perch on his neck and encircled the Necrosiac. It squeezed him tight then dragged his shocked body to the cross.
Mattaius reached out with his free hand and grabbed hold of the dripping, rotting magic oozing from the Demons center.
"Here's your destiny fucker"
The night sky filled with the howls of Demons again as Mattaius took hold of the hate that had been with him for as long as he could remember, then focused it and sent it out of him. He let it free and watched as it shot into the Demon, a silver glowing torrent of anti-magic, running deep and fast into the center of the evil in his grasp.
Penance screamed again then put one hand on Mattaius forehead and pushed hard, using his Hell leant strength to free himself from Pitts grasp and then all at once he was fee and standing on the road above him, naked and panting and devoid of the magic that had torn from him like a shroud.
The magic that lay in a pool beneath the cross, like a skin without a body, slowly turning silver in Mattaius Pitt's grasp.
Penance took a step forward and raised one hand to knock Mattaius' head from his body then stopped wide eyed, coughed wetly and dropped dead.
Mattaius watched as the corruption in his hand flashed a brilliant silver then blinked into nothingness. He raised his head to see the same thing happen to the undead in the square, as one-by-one, they lit up with the same brilliant glow then dropped motionless to the ground; finally, quietly, truly dead.
He let his head droop back down and wondered at how it was getting dark so fast and how Spivey's voice seemed a thousand miles away. He suddenly felt cold and tired and his eyes began to close of their own accord.
Somewhere above him the cry of a Night Hawk drifted to his ears and he smiled.
He smiled and reached his free hand towards the twin points of pure white light lying on top of the Necrosiac's lifeless red chest, cupping them in the palm of his hand.
He held them until the strength went out of him and he let himself go limp; determined to leave the hunger burning within him behind, to let it fade gently away, to spend his last moments holding something beautiful; Painlessly numb and strangely at peace for the first time in his life.
He smiled and let his eyes close again and then he was nothing.
He never saw the souls gently rise from his hand and float across the road to the dead body of the pregnant woman, nor did he hear Spivey mutter weakly into his ear.
"You done well Chief"
Epilogue:
Terri ran over the bodies cluttering the main street as fast as she could and ignored the shouts of the cautiously following strike teams behind her. She ran and then stopped and looked desperately at the woman standing between the carcass of a demon and a white blood streaked inverted cross.
"There was a man..."
The woman smiled warmly, held out one hand and nodded.
"I know you." she said.
"Did you see a man here? He..."
"I think you used to know me as well" interrupted the woman.
Something about the familiar way the woman looked at her tore Terri from her panic and she searched her mind for some recollection of who she might be.
"I'm sorry, I think you're mistaken"
The woman smiled again then took another step forward and embraced her gently.
"It's OK" She whispered "It doesn't matter. You are Percival and I am Taela." then she stood back, smiled again, put her hands on her swollen belly and said "And this is Lilly."
Terri nodded slowly, unsure as to whether or not she was speaking to a madwoman, and repeated her question.
"There was a man, he's an agent... my partner"
"Yes."
"His name was Mattaius."
"There was a man on the cross. I pulled him down. I don't know why. It just seemed the thing to do... I put him over there."
Terri glanced at the empty patch of bloodstained road the woman pointed to.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes" Taela replied "He was there... I'm sure I dragged him there"
The only thing Burt Gaines hated more than conference trips were the flights to them.
He didn't have a fear of flying so much as an innate loathing of cramped spaces. He hated the way the seat in front of him pressed against his skinny knees, and the feeling that his eyes were going to pop out of his head during takeoff and landing.
He hated the fake smiles on the stewardesses faces and the crap they tried to pass off as food, but most of all he hated the passengers.
He'd always had bad luck where the people who sat beside him were concerned.
If they weren't too chatty they were too fidgety. If they weren't so fat they were overflowing into his chair then he could be damned sure they would stink.
He'd been on at least a hundred flights in the last few years, by his count, and not once had he sat beside someone that didn't annoy him.
One hundred flights filled with the dregs of humanity and this one was by far the worse.
It figured it was bad enough that they'd stuck him next to a junky but he was pretty sure the guy was insane as well. His skin was pale and he wore a filthy bandage over one hand. He squirmed in his seat as if ants were crawling over his body and every once in awhile he would mumble something over the shoulder opposite him, then turn to look at Burt with a smile that made him want to crawl under his seat.
It was the kind of smile that reeked of need and dark secrets, the kind of smile that made him want to go home and crawl under the covers of his bed.
Burt shot a sideways glance towards the man beside him to find he was staring at him with the eerie grin again so he turned towards him and did his best to look unafraid.
"What?"
The Junky put one hand firmly on Burt's shoulder and deepened his grin then asked
"Do you think we'll be in the air much longer?"
Burt winced and opened his mouth to respond but the man's grip on him tightened painfully and no words would come out, and then the mans face was less than an inch away, his mouth half open and leaking a thin line of drool down the side of his jaw.
"I'm sorry" said Mattaius "I'm hungry. I need to eat."
Author's Note:
At the time I posted "The death of Mattaius Pitt" I had no intentions of taking the story as far as I have. It was never meant to be more than a couple of quick posts about a man who died, because he lived in a world in which he didn't belong.
It was the fourth story that I posted on Uber (August of 2004) and the first time I had really written anything in about 15 years.
Since then I have posted over 100 times on Uber.
Some of it I'm proud of and some of it is complete shit, but so rolls the die.
Regardless, the whole Uber experience has been one of value in my life and I have you to thank for it.
Those few of you that have followed Mattaius, Terri and Spivey, have helped to give them as much life as I have, with your kick ass reviews and kind words.
If not for you, this story - for better or worse - would never have existed.
So THANK YOU all, from the bottom of my heart and the nasty spots in my soul.
Maryjane, The Lone Stranger, AshK, Gigs, Malificent, Cryopaul, Philst82, Filthy Assistant, Wazzawazzayo - the first people to review the first story and one of the biggest reasons it continued.
Cowstastegood, ETS, Coyote, MyNameIsTim, Rad1101, IRW, WQP, OneCheapGeek, Engine 13, Timmah, Kre8rix, DonkeyOnTheEdge, Nathan_S, Thorpe, DeadSurfer, Falconer, Wookie, LuckyStar, JMG114, Rainer, Fr057m0urn3, Jogging_Monkey, Benny, Bob, FixerMixer, Rocktsrgn, Jo_of_the_golden_P, CoreaPeekay, GK, NoahsArk, StarSplinter, Adamdidit2u, Remission, Adjomack, RunWithScissors, Professional_Peon, knucklesnelson, Wazza, Saxon, Dannie, Chinaski and more people than my tired eyes can find. - Alot of you will never read this but, regardles of whether or not you read a few, or followed the series from the start... THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
Charred: I can't believe you reviewed all those posts. You rock.
HadtoBeDone: I'm not sure if you and OneCheapGeek are the same or not but thanks for the constant
great reviews and the awesome advice when my system went down.
Malificent: My thank you came in the form of Terri's middle name.
MonkeyPants: You are such a sweetheart. You make me want to move to Boston.
GLALL: Stay gold Ponyboy.
ShitFuck: Ubersites resident rebel genius. You're head is a Bong and I love you for it.
LadyPlural: You are the Unholy Queen of Kickassery... and... Nerp.
AshK: The only person I ever wrote a Birthday Necro present for, your awesomeness is built into the first 9/10ths of this story.
Circe: Circe, Circe, Circe. God I wish there was a way to relay how utterly fucking incredible you are, I just don't have the words. You're husband is one hell of a lucky man.
And lastly, Xena: My best friend and the inspiration for Terri. In many ways, this story is as much yours as it is mine. I can't wait till we're 80...
I wish I had the means with which to get you all drunk, in the same room, at the same time.
Thanks Again...
Peace.
Snark
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-08 11:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-11-30 17:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow,
I can't believe people are still reading this series.
Nahnofit,
I find your review strangely gratifying.
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2005-11-29 02:01:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
couldnt read it all
little too descriptive
Submitted by Blackhailfire (user info) at 2005-11-29 01:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Outstanding. my eyes hurt now from reading this thing straight through.
Submitted by nathan_s (user info) at 2005-07-08 20:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved the whole series. Every month or so I have come back and searched for this series just to read them all. I loved it.
-Nathan
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damage Control
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2005-06-17 21:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-05-01 04:51:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, I'm the first to admit I've been exceptionally remiss in not finding enough time devote the attention this series deserves-- although believe me, I've been meaning to for a long time-- but it's only fitting to go ahead and give this last installment a +2 in recognition of all the work you put into it and the way it's influenced so many others.
And I promise to read the whole thing from beginning to end when I can give it my undivided attention.
Nicely done, man!
-------------
I have to echo this. I started reading the series way back when, and I realised I couldn't wait around for the next installments. I always forget what I've already read if I do that. I will read this soon.
Congratulations dude. You finished.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-06-17 18:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice read
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-06-17 18:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aweosme.
thank YOU.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-17 12:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow,
Thanks for reading and rating all those posts Zak.
I would be interested in knowing what questions you felt were left unanswered.
I know I left some things out in prep for the sequel but I'm sure I missed something here and there.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-16 22:01:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So many questions, and yet this is still a satisfying ending. Well done.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-05-10 23:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was amazing. You are amazing. I will miss Necro.
Submitted by Revolutionman (user info) at 2005-05-07 01:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And so it ends, when does it come out in hardcover? better yet, when does the movie come out?
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-05-04 11:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the few things that kept me coming back to Uber.
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-05-02 23:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would really like to thank you Snark for writing such an awesome series. This entire story has been constistently excellent. At your calibre of writing you should definately be published (something that has been said many times before, and rightly so).
After such hard work I think that you deserve a holiday but my wife has started to notice the missing socks that I've been converting into zombies in the effort to continue Necrosiac. So please don't take too long away from writing (even if it isn't Necrosiac related) otherwise she'll hide my moonshine. I think we can all agree that zombie sock puppets look rather silly without moonshine coarsing through the veins.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2005-05-02 17:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So sad that it must end. But this series was fabulous. I'm sorry I've been lazy and haven't rated/commented on the last few. But, you know I loved this and you did a fantastic job with all of it.
If I come to Vancouver I am totally buying you the largest glass of absinthe they sell in honor of your great stories.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-02 13:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm rating again....I can't help it. I printed this and jerked off all over it.
Of course, my boss was looking at me funny.
I was too excited to take the printout off the printer, ok?
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-02 13:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I predict you to be the next winner of UberMadness.
Submitted by Rocktsrgn (user info) at 2005-05-02 12:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was an incredible ending. Damn, I'm sorry to see it end though.
I started reading these when you were at about 20 (I think?) and have followed it steadily, looking forward to each one. I always checked your user info first thing upon arriving at Uber to make sure I wouldn't miss an installment...
thanks.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-02 12:56:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In typical Snark fashion, I forgot to say thanks to one of the most important people of all.
"H" You know who you are.
Thank you for making Necro your guilty pleasure.
Submitted by Xena (user info) at 2005-05-02 12:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You fucking amaze me!!! I am extremely impressed at the ending you came up with...I can't convey how utterly impressed I am.
I'm all fucking teary right now, I'm not sure if it's because this is over, or because of the amazing comment you wrote to me...I will treasure this story always..oh, 80 will be fun!
You damn fucking right Bruce Campbell would be playing Matt...ohhhh....that would be sooo SWEET!!!!
Fuck Yeah!!!!
Submitted by Jogging_Monkey (user info) at 2005-05-02 11:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SNARK this is what got me started @ Uber, I'm no writer myself but from what i read here you are by FARR one of the most talented individuals here.
This series had me coming back every morning waiting for teh next installment.
AMAZING!
+1 BILLION
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-05-02 11:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark,
Excellent job, my friend. I've been impressed throughout the entire story. I'm sad to see it end, and to see you go. Don't stay gone too long, bro. We need people like you here.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-01 22:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<applauds>
well done!
thank you for the mention. the pleasure, though, was all mine.
Submitted by i_walk_alone (user info) at 2005-05-01 16:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
now i havent rated all of the parts of this series and you probably dont even know that i have read it all, but i have. It has been an awesome series and the ending was very fitting. well done. so from all those who have read it without before saying how good your writing is, i offer my congratulations to you and best of luck.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-01 14:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Everyone :)
This will be my last response to this post.
Cryo,
Hahaha Movie, well one can dream I guess. Dude if this were ever to become anything, Bruce Campbell is the man. Ironside would would work for Penance, so would Rutger Hauer (What can I say. I have a weakness for the B list)
GLALL,
I don't know how you did it, but I've graduated from peeing to crapping my pants when I read your reviews. Please use your powers for good.
Adjomak,
Not any time soon. I'm taking a break from Uber and probably won't do anything but UMIII, assuming I get in.
HadToBeDone,
It's I that owes you. Unfortunately I'm lazy and broke so you're going to have to put it on my tab.
Circe,
You have such a beautiful sense of Evil. I've missed you.
Thorpe,
Bro, thanks for the awesome words. Like I told Adjomak, nothing new from me for awhile.
Shitfuck,
If you're ever in Vancouver and don't go for beers with me... well lets just say I've dated Gypsies and I know things about curses.
Submitted by Adjomak (user info) at 2005-05-01 12:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sad to see the story end. It had much kick-assery in it. Also, dissapointed in these dumbasses who rated -2 because they're jealous. But seriously, when do you start the next series?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-05-01 12:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....
godamn that was a good ending. Does this mean you'll be dissapearing into the night and watching us all from high atop gotham city? That would be fucking gay.
I'm not too happy right now. This series is over, it's like, "fuck man", now who's gonna, you know, actually write something good?
Snark, I went to a strip club last night with 52 women. Cheeks Gentleman's Club is a sight to behold, mainly because half of the women are the most un-fuckable hags you have ever seen in your life.
I'm still thinking about it, and basically this is what i'm trying to get to, we need to open a strip club with: 607 women, 50,000 square feet of dancing room, and some GODAMN FREE WATER BECAUSE I'LL BE FUCK ALL IF THEY CHARGE YOU 5.00 DOLLARS!!!! 5 FUCKING DOLLARS SNARK!!! THAT'S, WHERE IS GOD???? WHERE IS GOD!?!?!??!!??!?!?! WHY!????????????????!!!?!?!?!?!/1?!??!?!?!?
Because of the godamn government. YOU KNOW.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2005-05-01 11:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll never tell, snark. I'll never tell.
Submitted by Cryopaul (user info) at 2005-05-01 10:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was an awesome ending. I especially liked (in a dark way) what became of Matt. I'm sure Spivey is enjoying his new life.
I can't wait to see what you come up with next.
So who do ya'll see playing Mattaius in the movie? I don't know either, but I do see Michael Ironside as Louis Penance.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-05-01 10:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A hundred years from now, there will be a few things Ubersite is remembered for. Your story will be one of them. Keep up the good work, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your projects.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2005-05-01 09:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant, a suitably awesome ending to a FUCKING AMAZING series.
Publish this!
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2005-05-01 08:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT.
Just kidding. Love you Snark. I'm sad that it's over but you bet your heiny I'll be looking out for the hardback version in my local bookstore. :)
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-05-01 04:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, I'm the first to admit I've been exceptionally remiss in not finding enough time devote the attention this series deserves-- although believe me, I've been meaning to for a long time-- but it's only fitting to go ahead and give this last installment a +2 in recognition of all the work you put into it and the way it's influenced so many others.
And I promise to read the whole thing from beginning to end when I can give it my undivided attention.
Nicely done, man!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-05-01 04:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah, I'm just fucking with you.
Nerp. Nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp! Nerp nerp nerp nerp, nerp nerp nerp nerp? Nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp; nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp. Nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp. Nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp nerp!!
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-05-01 04:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even 'nerp' does not convey the limitless depths of my happiness that you finally finished this story and posted it all. Neither does it convey how unspeakably saddened that I am that it could not just continue, for ever and ever, amen. But if it had to end, this was a *great* way to end it.
Circe, that was a beautiful song.
"I'd like to thank the academy..."
Yeah. Even nerp does not do this justice.
Bork.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-01 02:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bro, if my little bit of help with your computer had anything to do with how kickass this is, I'm a proud Geek, in my own right.
I haven't rated all of these, mostly because I have this really bad habit of forgetting to rate <checks for a rating on this one> and I don't want a stray 0 to reflect poorly on what I think of this series.
This fucking rocked. Seriously. Send me an autographed copy and I will be happy as a pig in shit - not to mention that I will owe you a bottle of whatever the hell you drink.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-05-01 01:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh fucking wow. You did it. I can't even tell you how thrilled I am that you did this. You started it, and you finished it, and you made it fucking sing and dance and juggle burning chainsaws the whole time.
You're way beyond awesome, Snark.
And now, to cleanse this place of the taint of my hepless adoration, a song for you. It's my special Snark-inspired version of "Wind beneath my Wings".
It must have been cold there, in that cellar
Chained to that wall like a rabid dog
I was content to watch you writhe
I can't believe you're still alive
I was the one with all the acid
While you were the one with all the scars
Only a mouth without a tongue
I cut it out when you were young
Did you ever know that I'm your Mama
I've been cutting you up since you were three
I can eat pretzels and watch Springer
'cause you're safely tied here next to me.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-05-01 01:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats. Job well done.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-01 01:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark, I'm only up to #19 or so, so I didn't read this. When I have more time, I'm going to go through and read them all.
All I can say is, this so far is the best non-professional fiction I have ever read. You're my favourite author on Uber, and for this series, you should be presented with some kind of award or something. You made Uber a much better place.
Now stop basking in the glory and hurry up and write something else.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-01 01:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM BECOME!
(I hit my third glass of a very 'oak' cab sauv on this line--somehow the cheeky little finish of this vintage rippled down my throat exactly as the line rippled through my brain.)
Seriously my man, congrats on starting something and finishing something.
That's impressive.
It's the journey, not the destination. And you made it.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-01 01:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-01 01:12:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
WTH? I am not reading all of that! -2
===================
Of course you won't. It's the last story in a series and you're illiterate.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-01 01:12:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by howto (user info) at 2005-05-01 00:43:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Thank god this stupid, pointless piece of shit series has finally finished.
=======================
As opposed to your incredibly intelligent shit posts?
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-01 01:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WTH? I am not reading all of that! -2
Submitted by howto (user info) at 2005-05-01 00:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thank god this stupid, pointless piece of shit series has finally finished.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-01 00:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SWEET FUCKING YES ALMIGHTY!
I got a bottle of red wine, a saturday night in and FINALLY something worth reading on Uber.
See you in about 20 mins.