Living and dying (899 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by pantsarestupid (View user info) at 2005-05-02 15:14:05 EDT
I've been stuck in this bed for weeks now. Too tired to move. Too tired to die.
I'm not finished yet. But, it's not in my hands. I can't talk. There's no one to hear.
It's not like there's anything anyone can do anyway. I'm not in any pain. Not that I could even
tell if I were. The white dress tells me that's what the needle and the tube are for.
The glasses man tells me i'm not going to get better anyway.
I haven't seen a familiar face in a while now. I think they've all given up hope.
Once you can't focus anymore, once you start to forget the names that match the faces,
everyone seems to think that it doesn't matter if they come or not. "She doesn't even recognize me." they say. "Why should I go?"
It's not my fault. I know that I don't look my best. The lesions on my legs and face. The
sores from where the medicine burns. So I've got dark pits where my eyes should be...so i'm dying.
Since when is that an excuse? I didn't choose this. Accidents happen.
The little girl that visits me. Such a sweet girl. She sits with such patience. It's like
she's waiting for me...
So who says death is bad? I would have chosen the easy way out when they told me what it was.
Where's the death guy when you really need him? Why does the law say that I can't die quickly...
before the real death sets in...and holds on...and shrinks me to nothing. Both physically
and mentally. Strips me of my dignity...and my family. Why is this how it has to be?
20 and living too fast.
21 and dying too slow.
I thought that there would be so much more to this living/dying thing. I wouldn't have minded
giving it a long shot. Going to college. Having kids. Outliving my parents. But, the money was easy
and I made my own mistakes. The only joy I get is that they're not only my mistakes now.
It's funny the things you think towards the end. Should you regret what you did? Or,say fuck it
and laugh. With so many things that brought me to where I am...who's not to blame.
I smoked a cigarette in middle school.
I drank a little.
I argued with my parents.
I took drugs.
I slept around.
I ran away.
I ran back.
They wouldn't take me.
They let go.
I let go.
So...why can't this let go of me. I have nothing left to give.
User Reviews
Submitted by highersound (user info) at 2005-05-03 08:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice writing, although it did not make me smile, I give it 1+
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-05-02 19:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's up with the good stuff not getting enough reviews?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-02 16:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoyed this. good emotion-conveyance.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-05-02 15:54:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-05-02 15:29:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
So glad you're still here WTH.
But, they're really not all that impressive.
------------
Let ME be the judge of that, ok?
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-05-02 15:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So glad you're still here WTH.
But, they're really not all that impressive.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-05-02 15:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-05-02 15:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was good, sad but good.
Any chance of seeing your tits now?
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-05-02 15:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Family member.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-05-02 15:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Truth in this?