oh a storm! (561 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fiction
Rating: 0.62 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2005-05-03 20:28:03 EDT
The wind blew across the lake, gently lapping aganst the water, teasing it up, inch by inch.
We sat on the porch in silence, watching nature unfurl before us. Sean absently reached out for me, gently resting his hand atop my own. The instant our hands made contact we both snapped out of our reverie.
I forced myself not to draw away from him, tried ignoring the pain in his touch. The lack of love in our physical touch made the loss of emotion between our hearts seem an even greater void.
As the clouds darkened and settled down closer to the restless water, my own heart hunkered down within my restless body. When the rain suddenly started falling along the opposite shore, transforming the glassy surface of the lake into a textured page, I excused myself, using my fear of storms as an excuse to hide from the even more real fear of Sean.
I retreated into the bowels of our house, slowly slinking down against the cold concrete floor. I could hear the rain and wind picking up, tapping against the roof and knocking against the side of the house, but the floor beneath me stayed steady.
After the noises subsided, I made my way back up the stairs, taking care to move quietly, so as to escape Seans notice. To escape his presence. To escape us.
I needn't worry, though. Sean had taken his leave while I was hidden away in the basement.
He left a note behind,
"The storm was quite amazing. I will never forget it. I wish you would allow yourself the pleasure of one day seeing all that life has to show you. Although you will never be hurt by a storm, you will also never realize the beauty of watching it pass."
User Reviews
Submitted by picow (user info) at 2005-05-12 14:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked this
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-04 11:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I forced myself not to draw away from him, tried ignoring the pain in his touch. The lack of love in our physical touch made the loss of emotion between our hearts seem an even greater void."
Now I know how my ex-wife felt when our marriage was breaking up.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Touching. i liked the last line also.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-05-04 01:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-04 01:07:15 (#)
Ranking: -1
... must... be... average... 0
We need another -1 and two more -2s.
I'll let somebody else do the -2s.
***
That cracked me up for no real reason.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-04 01:07:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah screw it - there are closer ones to 0 than this.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-04 01:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
... must... be... average... 0
We need another -1 and two more -2s.
I'll let somebody else do the -2s.
Submitted by Hands_Rambone (user info) at 2005-05-04 00:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-03 22:12:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
oh a -2!
-----------------
Fuck him.
Good story, the last line really did make it.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-03 23:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
short yet wholesome.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-05-03 22:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice, short little story. I liked the last line, it made the whole thing.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-05-03 22:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Very good last line.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-03 22:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the coolest things that I had ever seen was sitting at a lake and watching a downpour come toward us. The water went from calm to turbulent in a line that headed toward us.
Does that make sense? (been drinking)
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-03 22:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh a -2!
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-05-03 22:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bandwagon zero at this point.
I think this is a record for straight zeros.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-03 21:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-05-03 21:10:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
when was the last time you had a good root?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-05-03 21:10:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when was the last time you had a good root?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Nothing personal. i.e. I'd still probably do you.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice title?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Marvellously mediocre.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you should've overcome your fear of both storms and boys by banging him under a tree in the rain.
Hey, fear of getting caught, fear of lightning, fear of getting knocked up... all conquered at once!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
woah woah, calm down. You know how the label on the canister says so many pills per day? yeah, they mean that.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh lord jackass almighty.
This post does not relate to anything personal.
I was just writing.
But now that I read it I'm thinking "fuck all, this sounds very whiney and poor me'ish, and a little eliteist, and..." well, and a bunch of things.
What a silly thing.
Okay, I feel better now that I cleared that up.
Well, I was just writing about a storm, because I wanted to... and then it went and diverted to all this emotional relationship crap stuff, and I really liked how it tied in.
And ARGH I hate this post.
And don't yell at me for putting myself down.
Okay, I like it.
Perhaps not.
No. It's too typical.
It's cliche! Argh I did it again!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.jackinworld.com/qa/qagirls.html
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-05-03 20:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh noess!!! get in the rain shed!!!!