My Theological Question (603 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.61 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by That Guy <habitat115.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-04-19 11:47:18 EDT
Okay, so lets say you're hungry. Not like STARVING or anything, but you're pretty hungry, you know? Like you could really use something to eat.
You have no car, and the nearest place to eat is, say, 10 miles away. And you're getting pretty damn hungry. You eye a piece of dog shit.
All of the sudden, Jesus appears. And Jesus is all, "I'm gonna turn that piece of shit into a pizza," so he does his magic thing or whatever and BOOM, the shit has turned into a delicious looking pizza pie.
Would you eat the pizza?
User Reviews
Submitted by Khanrad (user info) at 2003-09-06 23:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
NO way in hell, I dont believe in Jesus. Therefore, that may just be an optical illusion, you know, like a mirage. Besides, pizza is only good for so long. I'd rather eat grass, natural shrooms, or even resort to eating bugs, not shit/pizza. Very interesting thought though.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2003-09-06 23:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, the important question is this:
Is it Dominoes or Pizza Hut?
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2003-09-06 23:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell, I'd eat it even if I wasn't hungry. I fucking love pizza!
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2003-09-06 23:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would eat Jesus.
Submitted by Mynameisdavid (user info) at 2003-09-06 23:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well... if there was dog shit their you would have to infer a dog is nearbye... so simple solution is eat the dog
Submitted by Partholon (user info) at 2003-04-21 16:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jadler:
You seem pretty confident that there is no God, Deveil, heaven, or hell.
I've been trying to sort this out for many years myself, and still all I know is that I don't know.
I'm pretty certain there's no Devil or hell, and heaven as it's generally understood sounds kind of boring, but God is a whole other story.
What's your evidence? What forms your opinions?
Submitted by Partholon (user info) at 2003-04-21 16:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay, theology! One of my specialities!
No, I would not eat the pizza. My reasoning is as follows:
My first question, of course, would be "Is this really Yeshuah?" The Hebrew Scriptures contain a lot of stories about YHVH testing people's faith by making them do wacked-out shit (like sacrifice their only son, build a big-ass boat, etc.). Also, the Gospels have stories about Yeshuah testing faith, like when Peter is supposed to have walked out on the water to meet him, only to sink when he became afraid.
These stories exist, but to me they are just stories. What was Yeshuah all about, what was his message? His message was the Kingdom of God, a radical vision of a new world and how that would could be achieved: by loving each other totally, completely, and without reservation--or at least doing our best to progress toward that goal.
So, if this is what Yeshuah lived and died and rose again for, why would he appear for a purpose so trivial? A vision is one thing, but an actual apparition? Let's pretend then that it IS a vision, because an actual apparition of Christ raises too many other problems (it would mean that it was the end of the world, for one thing).
So, if it was a vision, then, we are left with two choices: either a legitimate message from the Divine, or a psychological delusion. How would we tell the difference? Reason, common sense, and faith. If I received a vision from Yeshuah and he told me to do something like knife-rape a blind, retarded nun, I would not do it, because that is obviously contrary to his message. Eating a pizza supposedly created out of dog shit just because he told me to is also not in keeping with his message.
So, the simple answer: if Yeshuah appeared to you, transformed dog shit into a pizza, and told you to eat it, don't eat it: it's not Yeshuah, and you need psychological help.
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-04-21 16:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pizza isn't that disgusting...
Submitted by Firefighter_Jim (user info) at 2003-04-21 16:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I would...
But I would have to seriously analyze the situation first. I would have to ask myself questions like, "Am I sure this isn't dog-shit? Could this be a hallucination? Why would jesus turn dog-shit into a pizza, instead of something less disgusting?"
Submitted by Jadier (user info) at 2003-04-21 15:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post, whether it was your intention or not kicks ass because, most religous people would do it and it shows just how blind religious people are.
There is no god.
There is no Devil.
There is no heaven.
There is no hell.
And if I suddenly found out with hard evidence that god really existed as defined by mainstream society and the bible, I would not worship god. So it doesn't matter. Religous people would still be illogical to me.
Submitted by lnknptheory (user info) at 2003-04-19 20:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm....well, I'd probably eat the piza/dog shit in a heartbeat. My theological question for you is "what the fuck compelled you to ask this question?" I'm not saying this question was a bad one (actually it was quite good, lol) I just wanna know ur motive and reasoning behind this SHITTY question (literally!).
Peace out,
-=lnknptheory=-
Submitted by DP (user info) at 2003-04-19 20:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I'm not starving, I don't eat dog shit. And I sure as hell don't eat things that were produced by dog shit.
Submitted by Laurenne (user info) at 2003-04-19 12:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
um...how do you know for sure it's really jesus? (if it were, however, i'd ask him if he could somehow teleport me to the food that's 10 miles away, claiming pizza could kill me, what with it's greasy nastiness and all.)