My Theological Question (728 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by That Guy <habitat115.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-04-19 11:47:18 EDT
Okay, so lets say you're hungry. Not like STARVING or anything, but you're pretty hungry, you know? Like you could really use something to eat.
You have no car, and the nearest place to eat is, say, 10 miles away. And you're getting pretty damn hungry. You eye a piece of dog shit.
All of the sudden, Jesus appears. And Jesus is all, "I'm gonna turn that piece of shit into a pizza," so he does his magic thing or whatever and BOOM, the shit has turned into a delicious looking pizza pie.
Would you eat the pizza?
User Reviews
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-07-19 21:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no...may be.
Submitted by theoutstander (user info) at 2003-04-19 21:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would eat Jesus, just like I always do. Every Sunday. I am Catholic.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-04-19 20:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would kick Jesus' ass for ruining a perfectly good meal. Body of Christ.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-04-19 17:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just out of curiosity, were you stoned when you wrote this? Because it reads like you are. Funny though. Why would Jesus turn dogshit into pizza when he could just pull one out of thin air?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-04-19 16:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i would just eat the turd. i don't believe in Jesus.
Submitted by jjgoreha (user info) at 2003-04-19 14:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think I could eat the whole thing, but I'd definately take a bite or two. You don't want to offend Jesus, after all. His dad is GOD.
Submitted by nemo (user info) at 2003-04-19 13:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, but heatherm-
Assuming you were having auditory and visual hallucinations to the extent that you actually thought that Jesus was telling you to eat shit, chances are that your other senses are fucked up too, and when you ate the shit, you'd think it tasted like pizza. And gustatory hallucinations rock.
Submitted by heatherm (user info) at 2003-04-19 13:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*I* wouldn't eat it, myself. Mainly because if I thought I saw Jesus.. it will
more than likely be a hallucination. I did a lot of drugs back in the day.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-04-19 13:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The bible says that Jesus loves us...
If so, why would he offer us shitty food? (Pun intended)
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2003-04-19 13:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When the Lord above offers you food that he has transformed via a divine miracle you better eat it...I wouldn't want to see what would happen if you refused.
Submitted by BlueDuck (user info) at 2003-04-19 13:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I dunno... Some guy just appears and turns some dog shit into pizza, then says its edible? I wouldn't eat it. I'm not eating anything some weird ass magician conjured up. Jesus knows better than to offer me shit anyway.
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-04-19 12:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd eat it. I'd eat it like it was hot.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-04-19 12:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oddzandendz gets a +1 for that comment.
I could see Jesus eating shit-pizza! Hah!
Submitted by nemo (user info) at 2003-04-19 12:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd probably think I was hallucinating from hunger. But I'd probably eat it anyway. mmmm... pizza
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-04-19 12:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also if jesus showed up i'd probably shit my own pants. Maybe then I'd have 2 slices. I'd of course offer J.C. to join he and have a slice. I'd give him the dog shit one though.
Submitted by HotDog (user info) at 2003-04-19 12:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would eat it. Milk comes from a cow's utters, and we drink milk. Everything has pretty much been everywhere. If you eat a bag of chips with a friend, you have a 30% chance of eating a small amount of his feces. The world's nasty.
Submitted by Quirkster (user info) at 2003-04-19 12:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If he can turn dog shit into pizza, then with a little persuasion and intimidation, you can get him to wash your car as well.
Submitted by oddzandendz (user info) at 2003-04-19 11:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if Jesus offers you something to eat, you bloody well better eat it.