SHLONGY LOSES RIP BATTLE TO FRAP IN TERRIBLE FASHION! Proof, highlights, commentary, and analysis of the actual rip battle inside! (1425 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.36 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sergio Giorgini (View user info) at 2005-05-04 19:12:23 EDT
*Added commentary by myself will be in parenthesis
THIS IS AN ACTUAL RIP BATTLE THAT TOOK PLACE ON APRIL 18TH
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:00:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
You make Charles Nelson Reilly look and sound like Charles Bronson.
(Shlongy starts the rip battle with this lame ass thing. Note: he has been ducking a rip battle for nearly a week at this point but I kept the pressure on)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:03:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
you make Darwin a liar
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:09:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
You raid Rupaul's wardrobe.
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:12:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
You rub RuPauls trannie dick on your face, then cook her dinner
(I had a lot of extra time to bust more rips because SHlongy can't think of comebacks)
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:15:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your moms nipples overlap
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:15:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
You buy dildos at yard sales
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:18:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
You're getting shutout again tonight, dipshit. You're not very good at this.
Why don't you just throw up the white flag.
Altjough yours seems to be whiter than most...wiping the semen off of your hand onto the surreneder flag is NOT good etiquette, shitforbrains.
(note misplaced confidence: this wont last)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:21:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your dad spits that shit back into my hand cause swallowing it makes him feel gay
How about you quit, you already want to
(Shlongy got killed here)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:26:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy takes longer with comebacks than Mandella
(this is where I kill shlongy on his lack of comeback ability)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:31:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just except your 3rd straight rip battle loss
at least you tried this time
instead of straight backing down like the last 2 times
(this is when I rub it in that SHlongy ran from 2 other rip battles)
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:34:31 (#)
Ranking: -2
I read the reviews and ratings in your last couple of posts, even if you cannot.
You're 0 and 2, going on 0 and 3.
Or do you not believe the public when they "speak"?
Speaking of speaking, shut your fucking mouth. Your stupidity even embarrasses mongoloids.
(he is getting mad here)
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:37:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
It wouldn't surprise me if someone is on the phone with Carrot Top right now, telling him that some fairy named "frap" seems to be stealing his material. For no reason.
Unless you're actually trying NOT to be funny.
(Shlongy snuck in another attack while I was fighting with someone else)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:40:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
frustration the first sign of losing....
It will be alright sleepyhead, i will tuck you in with a blanket of rips
Do you wanna take a break while you get a thesaurus?
(he needed egging on here)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:43:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Carrot Top uses props not rips
maybe you could borrow one of his rubber dicks with Saddams head on it to massage your asshole
(quick revert back to Carrot Top)
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:41:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
You type pretty fast with one hand.
(Shlongy thinks he scores a blow with this one)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:44:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your mom needed something to block her head from hitting the computer desk
(of coarse I am right there with the comeback zinger)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:44:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Feel the pain lame
(Here I literally tell him to feel the pain)
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:51:59 (#)
Ranking: -2
You know you've reached total desperation when you try to toss a dildo "joke" out there for the fourth time in 60 minutes. To total silence.
You're a retard, sonny. Stick to insulting the other autistic kids on the playground, shitforbrains.
(Here Shlongy tries to divert attention away from my constant rip attack)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:54:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for the narration do you wanna actually try to rip or.......
stay focused loser
(obviously I striaghten him out)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 22:59:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongys rip skills are limited to tellimg me what I said to him with no comeback
then saying either shithead or mongoloid
I am not seeing the all the wit you say you have?
(this is me flipping the script on Shlongys rip attack: pointing out his game plan. A major blow against some one of Shlongys ripping style which is limited to spell checking and a child like grasp of entry level psych courses)
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:03:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
And I'm not seeing any spelling, punctuation or grammatical skills from you, Mr. Wizard.
(for example)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:04:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I see you can comeback quick when it comes to spelling errors
Now I know who to come to if I need to get a paper graded
or If I need someone to lose a rip battle real bad
(I'm trying to get this thing back in the right direction)
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Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:16:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you're getting pwned by a fucking alter, man. Pathetic.
(Here a third party jumps in to tell SHlong is losing)
(PS, I am not an Alter)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:23:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Does someone want to note the time Shlongy lost this rip battle?
(Shlongy runs and hides for a long time; he is good at that)
(it is an easy out when your in over head in a rip battle)
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Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:57:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hearing people try to argue that Shlongy won this rip battle is exactly like listening to Shawn Hannity try to say Bush won the debates
(this is just a fact)
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Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-04-19 00:10:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Shlongy. You lost again. Here's a highlight list of your "comebacks":
"And I'm not seeing any spelling, punctuation or grammatical skills from you, Mr. Wizard."
Wizard!!!Wow!!!
"You're a retard, sonny. Stick to insulting the other autistic kids on the playground, shitforbrains."
Shitforbrains and retard!!! I bet he never saw that one coming!!!
"Speaking of speaking, shut your fucking mouth. Your stupidity even embarrasses mongoloids."
Mongoloids....zing!!!
"Altjough yours seems to be whiter than most...wiping the semen off of your hand onto the surreneder flag is NOT good etiquette, shitforbrains."
Shitforbrains!!! Again!!! Man you're good.
"Christ, you're a bigger homo than Will. Or Grace."
Grace is a homo?
(here a third party recaps Shlongy's feeble attempts at rips)
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And that was the End! Shlongy couldn't take any more abuse and left. He obviously lost. It was his 3rd total loss. Two were by disqualification because he refused to rip. I kept the pressure on though. The fans demanded a rip battle for the ages. Shlongy began losing respect for ducking me in the rip battle. With pressure applied and Shlongy backed into a corner; cowardice and shame on one end and a raging rip battle on the other he finally tried to rip his way out. He soon realized he was getting hammered and quit. Shlongy was out witted and out classed! VICTORY FRAP! JUST LIKE I PROMISED TO EVERYONE! VICTORY IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"The Rip-Battletoads say Shlongy got served!"
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-12-05 18:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rip!
Submitted by Papercuts (user info) at 2005-06-11 22:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of the greatests posts of all-time.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-05-13 01:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I'm a third party. Fun!
And yes, Shlongy=shamown3d
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-06 22:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Until you come up with origonal material, i'll -2 you till death.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-05 14:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nope not reading it
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-05 14:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well you have to be stupid if you think I am reading all that bullshit
ha ha
I am the greatest!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-05-05 13:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, and here I was thinking that I could't possibly feel any dumber than I did after reading one of your previous posts. Then all of a sudden this pile of horseshit hit the news-stand and I was fumbling around trying to remember how to spell the word IDIOT!
Lucky for me, you're Mother happened to be here, trying to get her life back on track after the years of embarrassment she has endured from you obvious lack of intelligence. She, being the master of all things idiotic (i.e YOU) told me that the only way to come your 12 year old ass down is to get you out of the rat infested hell hole that you inhabit and onto the playground, where even the elementary school children give you a hard time and beat the living retard out of you.
Summary:
You suck at life.
AND
There is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Have fun with your next "Pixels and bandwith" rip battle. I hope you get as much satisfaction out of it as you do turning tricks for clearasil.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-05 13:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you're so immature it's funny.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-05 13:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rip battles are forever
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-05-05 13:39:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hennessy: Nice fish there, Griffin. WHat are you selling? Your bait?
Peter: Uh....nice....FACE Hennesy. YES! Me one, you zero.
This was so juvenile I laughed, and anything I laugh at gets at least a +1.
Submitted by clumeister (user info) at 2005-05-05 13:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Sheeeer crap.
I've seen better Rip Battles in the seat of my shorts...
That's what happens when you have been around computers since they were dirt...
Keep trying and next time find a willing opponent :P
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-05 13:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHlongy no one ever doubted the fact that you lost horribly
some people hated this post
but no one doubted your mega loss
You lost
that is a fact
have a good day
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-05 10:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG YOU R SO KEWL!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-05 10:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can say more in two reviews and three lines, than this autistic homo can spit out in his 33 reviews.
It figures, another retard like professorfuckface thinks THIS retard "won" anything.
And if I ever get caught using the phrase "rip battle", I give any and all of you permission to put down your tube of Clearasil and shoot me.
Dipshit.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-05 07:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your "rips" were o.k., but for some reason I think your Ghey for shlongy.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-05-05 04:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Those three lines are worth more than your life and everything tht could come from it.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-05-05 04:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:43:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bitch ass Shlongy is on right now responding to every post except this fucking one
I wonder why?
is it cause he feels dumb?
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Maybe it's cause he's an adult and this is childish shit?
This is wank. Ooooh you did a some good "rips" to someone on the internet. Don't forget to put that on your CV (resume for you yankee doodles)
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-05 02:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy's just an old smartass drunk at a computer, not superman. I think you put A LOT more effort into this than he does...
Besides, I retain his original certificate of pwnership (just ask him). And he's still under warranty!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-05 02:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why don't you two just meet behind the swingset after last bell?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-05 01:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2005-05-05 01:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's not hard to come out with a lot of mediocre insults, and the fact that you merely had more rips in than he did means nothing. You're just a dumbass, really.
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-05-05 01:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-05-05 00:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cpt. Foamy you are the best motherfucking rip battlist in the world
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-05 00:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post should be commanding more respect
I suggest more pos dueces
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 23:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Duke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're the man brother
Submitted by Mr.Brightside (user info) at 2005-05-04 23:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who cares?
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-05-04 23:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i must say, you had some good rips.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-05-04 23:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah you "won" but this is still dumb
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-05-04 22:58:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 22:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But the battle toads love you
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK I HATE THOSE STUPID BATTLE TOADS! GET ANOTHER FUCKING PICTURE ALREADY!!!! ARRRRGGGGG
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not as good as the old timey nerd fights I love, but still..
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I simply promised everyone a Shlongy rip battle loss
I out ripped him but it was kind of on the DL
So I posted this to keep my word
sorry I out ripped your girlfriend
I would say sorry if I cared
but I dont
so quit being so gay
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Shut the fuck uppp. Toss your keyboard out the window. Stop posting.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This has positive ratings? Seriously, this is fucking stupid and the poster is a dickwank.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Let it die. It's not funny. It's not entertaining. Just stop.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy is the Glass Joe of rip battles
do you really think he wants to get pieced again?
Submitted by Recalcitrant (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't give you a positive rating because I just can't figure out if bringing flaming to an all new level is good or bad.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is frap...err...crap.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its to late for you to start trying to rip
You missed the party
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, gotta go. After my first round TKO...online poker tourney just started.
"Now pick up that blood".
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should be interesting. Not a bad start.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-05-04 21:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your mom told me to stop beating you senseless.
I told her that it was too late for that.
So, she sucked me off.
Submitted by Flaahgra (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 for pwning him
-4 for wasting my time with this bullshit.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bitch ass Shlongy is on right now responding to every post except this fucking one
I wonder why?
is it cause he feels dumb?
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zak Attack!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All hail Captain Foamy.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Owned indeed.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:13:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Schlongy's come backs are weak and passed on from fellow 15 year olds.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A pussy is a pussy and a win is a win.
I busted a nut on your fat moms chin!
word
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-05-04 20:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://jupiter.walagata.com/w/brettster808/argueinternetMV.jpg
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin owned.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just roll with it fellas
This is money
just flow
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is what's wrong with Uber these days...fucking stupid...but dammit, somewhat entertaining, much as I hate to admit.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hilarious.
In general, you still suck.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You saw me fuck that midget!
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:37:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
come now, your victory is that
of raping a midget.
thus, fun to watch you chase the
bastard around the yard.
but disheartning once the fucking
commences.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You dont need to hang onto your ego when you rip like I do
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"hang on to your ego"
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep. Shlongy got his ass ripped from head to toe. Classic.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
what?! he didnt pull the acne line?
nicely done PWNED
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shlongy depleted his short booklet of pre-fabricated insults a long while ago.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All hail Shlongy? NEVER!
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-04 19:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow he got slaughtered!