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Everybody's Dying Just to Get the Disease (Part 1 of ?) (627 hits)

Category: Quotes & Stories

Rating: 1.25 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by AnotherStupidUsername (View user info) at 2005-05-05 18:40:15 EDT


I've got it too: A chain smoking anxious mess, high off of too much caffeine and too little sleep. A nervous, shaking, disaster, mumbling incoherent nothings as I stumble around campus with my headphones playing just a little to loud. 'If the caffiene doesn't keep me up, maybe ear jarrring music will', I tell myself, or maybe I think just a bit to loud, because a few passerby glance at me suspiciously. I stick my middle finger up at the bastards, telling them 'Have you ever tried the yellowtail sushi at House of Teryaki, it's to die for'. They walk away quickly, glancing over their shoulder and I laugh like a maniac, it's moments like this where I total befuddled and confuse and even scare people that make life worth living.

I also like to talk with such obvious sarcasm that after a while even I can't tell if I'm being sincere or just being a blatant prick. Just today for example I interrupted an argument in my sociology class with a dreadfully long monotone, lasting nearly two minutes where all eyes were turned on me, the topic ripped straight from American Pyscho, in which Patrick Bateman talks about moral absolutes. I don't feel like typing the whole thing right now, I feel faint and have homework, but a favorite line that immediately comes to mind follows: We need to support a womans right to choose while somehow at the same time support the right to life. A few kids in my class with some wit (equating about a third of my own) laughed aloud, recognizing the blatant plagerism, but everyone else, teacher included, stood with mouths agap, until my teacher broke the silence by clearing her throat and said 'Thank you Mr. Mantuanus....err anyone else?'

Predictably, not one of those morons spoke, and while the lecture and note taking began, while I sat smugly in my chair, twirling a pencil around my fingers like a lit-up drummer.

I've reached the point of clarity where I realize that most people around me are helpless ants, just waiting to be crushed, and all you have to do is clear the throat and blow them away, while they stand helpless waiting for someone to retort...but no one does. It's a gorgeous feeling, the sooner realize that no one matters and everyone can be bested, a strong strut replaces the former marijuana slump, with red eyes darting around suspiciously, looking for a sign that they...know, and the feeling is even beyond gorgeous, it's the closest I've ever come to salvation.

Furthermore, in those days where depression creeps up like an evil tyrant, waiting to crush you helplessly, a simple trip to a local bar and five or ten drinks later, thirty or forty dollars lighter, and some bitch is on her knees, just waiting for you to fuck her mouth. Sex and liqour may not be a permenant remedy, but it sure seems to be doing the trick just fine.

Another day with another sunrise, and millions more minds to blow, thousands more vaginas and mouths to fill, more drugs to use and more beer to choke down that persistant lump in the throat--just another day.

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User Reviews


Submitted by clumeister (user info) at 2005-05-27 13:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Another day with another sunrise, and millions more minds to blow, thousands more vaginas and mouths to fill, more drugs to use and more beer to choke down that persistant lump in the throat--just another day.

Sounds good to me =)

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-05-06 08:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Ah fuck it, I enjoy a good train wreck as much as the next man.

Let us know how this all works out for you.

Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-05-06 08:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

"Shocking...thriller"

-The New York Times

"A non-stop rollercoaster ride of one man's dissouloution"

-The Washington Post

"A thrilling experience...watch anger destroy everything and everyone he loves"

-USA Today

Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-06 07:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

comment

Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I like it.

Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Not too shabby. I like a good rant. And this was a good rant.

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-05 19:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"thousands more vaginas and mouths to fill,"

you should fill yours with concrete...

Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-05-05 19:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

The format seems fine to me.
I don't know how I feel about this.
It almost seems just to be another angsty nothing-matters-I'm-better-than-you-because-I'm-depressed-and-therefore-insightful type thing, but at the same time... not quite that.
It is, however, well written...
I shall think more on this.

Submitted by Conform (user info) at 2005-05-05 19:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Pretty good but to short.

Submitted by AnotherStupidUsername (user info) at 2005-05-05 18:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Does the format seem fucked up to anyone else? (I did it on Notepad...don't ask)


Reverend Lovejoy:
Homer, this is really low.

Homer: Not as low as my low, low prices!

Mr. Plow