The Unfuckables (1357 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.48 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MyIdiom (View user info) at 2005-05-05 22:20:44 EDT
In this wonderfully enchanting world of men, women, and hermaphrodites, there exists a category of people whom I like to call The Unfuckables.
The Unfuckables are, as their name suggests, men and women who are outright unfuckable. They are the people you would only fuck if you were trashed senseless. Even then, your drunken self would still know deep down that something wasn't right. You'd feel all dirty inside.
The Unfuckables come in a variety of shapes and sizes and can be found in all corners of the universe. They can (and should) be your brother, your friend, or even your boss. But I'm not just talking about the obvious Unfuckables. I'm talking specifics here, people.
Some Unfuckables are easy to spot, while others can be tricky little bastards. Should you somehow find yourself unexpectedly trapped in the presence of an Unfuckable, I suggest you do the following: learn. The more you know about each and every Unfuckable out there, the easier it is to spot (and avoid) their kind in the future.
I've taken the liberty of jotting down my very own list of Unfuckables. (Skip this part if you're a sensitive little prick because I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings)
My Unfuckables:
10. Sensitive little pricks
9. Men who go to tanning salons (the tan lines from your thong would make me gag)
8. Men with long hair (we'd have to fight over who gets the scrunchie)
7. Mexicans
6. Men who wear sandals (and don't say you have nice feet because it's a physical impossibility... unless your gay, but even then it's risky)
5. Men with bad and/or missing teeth
4. Unibrowed men
3. Men with any of the following professions: cashier, team mascot, bus driver
2. Star Wars, Star Trek, or WWF fans (and all such related geeky shit)
1. Self-conscious men (because I like the lights on)
Now that I've spilled my dirty laundry, tell me, who are your Unfuckables? Oh, and one final note before you go... Always remember that you too are an Unfuckable on someone else's list. Good day.
User Reviews
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-05-06 16:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unfuckables
1) Brenden
2)Spam
3) Shlongy
4) Rad
5)Herpes
6) Method
7)Hairycoo
8)many many more but these are just the incredibly ugly-gross-me-out ones
Submitted by Heathers (user info) at 2005-05-06 16:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-06 10:48:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope someday I get the chance to smack you in the face with a sock full of nickels
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I love this line.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-05-06 16:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My unfuckables:
1. People who are men.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-06 16:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-06 10:48:02 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope someday I get the chance to smack you in the face with a sock full of nickels
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-06 10:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope someday I get the chance to smack you in the face with a sock full of nickels
"Homey don't play dat!"
Submitted by swing39 (user info) at 2005-05-06 10:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
wasn't this a dave attel bit, 'the unfuckables'?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-06 08:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:16:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought this would have pictures from the Uberdirectory. You suck.
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That thought crossed my mind too. And I was sure this picture would have been on it.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/47135
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-06 07:58:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow your smart, great post!
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-05-06 04:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
anything without a hole
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought this would have pictures from the Uberdirectory. You suck.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Next time take me HIGHER!!!!!!!!!!
You can do it. And a pic is always a nice touch.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm unfuckable...
I mean untouchable. B¬)
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree with darko. There's people who wouldn't admit to fucking, but to someone, somewhere, everyone is fucakeable.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-05-06 02:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's cool, drop us a line in 20 years to let us all know how it turned out with your bald, jack-booted, mysoginist ok?
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, recent experience tells me that I'm on quite a few "Unfuckable" lists. In fact, I think a girl even once told me that.
By the way, what the hell is wrong with men that wear sandels, you fucking nazi?
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Sensitive little pricks
9. Men who go to tanning salons (the tan lines from your thong would make me gag)
8. Men with long hair (we'd have to fight over who gets the scrunchie)
7. Mexicans
6. Men who wear sandals (and don't say you have nice feet because it's a physical impossibility... unless your gay, but even then it's risky)
5. Men with bad and/or missing teeth
4. Unibrowed men
3. Men with any of the following professions: cashier, team mascot, bus driver
2. Star Wars, Star Trek, or WWF fans (and all such related geeky shit)
1. Self-conscious men (because I like the lights on)
My boyfriend is a unibrowed mexican busdriver with shitty teeth and long hair, loves to tan (which is funny since he's Mexican), wears sandals (w/sox <3 ) and keeps a lifesize cardboard cut-out of The Rock next to our bed. Frankly I'm not surprised that he's self-conscious getting naked next to that thing every night, but he just won't part with it.
He has a very sensitive little prick thank you very much, and it just so happens that he fucks like thunder so back off!
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had to come and positively rate this for providing me with material. I hope you don't mind....
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65760
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A good concept...
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unfuckable?
Anything out of my own species(with the "correct" orifice) about covers it.
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If one likes "Star Wars?" Well, ya ain't gettin' none of this man meat, sister!
Unless you want it. Do you?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy. I wouldn't fuck Shlongy, uh-uh.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You cut a lot of guys out of your list, just with the Star Wars fans alone.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-05 22:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Amen, darko.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-05 22:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shenanigans, there is no such thing as an unfuckable woman. One who you won't admit to fucking afterwards, sure. But unfucakble? No.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-05 22:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
probably you
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-05-05 22:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck you i like star wars and like, my cock is like, 12 INCHES LONG, YEAH! im ALL MANNNNN!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-05 22:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll reserve my rating until I see if you're one of Shlongy's fuckables.
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-05-05 22:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-05 22:22:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Softy, blows the wind
as it smears the tears
streaming down my cheeks.
Warmth from the sun
dries them.
No one to witness
the sadness
as it pours from my soul.
Alone
Only the sounds of birds
answer my vocalized anguish.
Otherwise,
Silence.
---
(04/27/05)
============
hahahahaha. Seriously. I think you should have added Shlongy.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-05 22:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Softy, blows the wind
as it smears the tears
streaming down my cheeks.
Warmth from the sun
dries them.
No one to witness
the sadness
as it pours from my soul.
Alone
Only the sounds of birds
answer my vocalized anguish.
Otherwise,
Silence.
---
(04/27/05)