Single girls? (1385 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.07 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Enrique El Suave (View user info) at 2005-05-05 23:07:13 EDT
Hey there,
My name is Enrique El Suave and I'd like to tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a single guy looking for a woman who is interested in being friends/companionship/dating/other(goatse).
Just so you know....I'm something of a sensitive little prick. By this I mean that I am aware of my external environment and I respond to external stimulii such as sound, smell, touch and taste. I also am sensitive in that I like long walks by the beach, reading poetry and touching my own rectal cavity.
I enjoy going to tanning salons and waxing my body. In fact, my body is completely hairless except for my single gigantic eyebrow and my luxuriously long hair which I perpetually keep held back in a scrunchy. All my other guy friends keep their hair in scrunchies as well.
Its normal for guys to wear scrunchies, isn't it?
I also love wearing a thong. I have one with a cut-out smiley face on arse which leaves this super-cool tan outline of a smiley face. Maybe If we get to know each other a little better I can show you. Wink wink.
I am mexican.
I have had all my teeth removed and I wear an entirely false set of dentures. This is what gives me my amazingly white smile. You may have seen me in a number of television advertisements for dental floss.
Because I am mexican I like to wear sandals. All mexicans wear sandals. My feet are really really nice. I would say they were my best feature. Some people say my feet are so nice I should be gay.
I've heard all gay men have nice feet.
What do I do? On the weekends I work as a cashier at my local convenience store. I find it rewarding and exciting and I get to meet some really interesting people. On weekends I drive my local croquet teams bus to croquet games. I am something of a team mascot.
I love croquet and I hope you will too.
I also love geeky shit. I am somewhat famous in that I have the worlds largest collection of star wars and star trek memorabilia. I was recently feature on TV because I have created the worlds largest panorama of star wars action figures doing battle with star trek action figures.
I think the star wars action figures are going to win.
I have a large collection of WWF related porn which I masturbate to every day. I love masturbating and hope I can masturbate with you.
I hope you don't mind if I turn the lights off when I masturbate because I'm self-conscious and I also will enjoy hitting you with a "surprise" money shot.
If any single girls out there like what they see and want to get in touch with me just leave your contact details posted below (including your real name, address, telephone number, internet details and credit card number) and I will write to you.
Kisses
Enrique.
User Reviews
Submitted by malefic (user info) at 2005-10-27 02:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You would get an automatic -2, since Mexicans are disgusting, but the following quote redeemed you:
"I'm something of a sensitive little prick. By this I mean that I am aware of my external environment and I respond to external stimulii such as sound, smell, touch and taste."
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2005-10-27 02:13:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't go for the 'Mexico' look.
Submitted by Faidel (user info) at 2005-10-27 01:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not an ABSOLUTE pile of steaming hot fecal matter. Maybe a slightly cooled pile.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-06 01:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
quite silly but not as bad as they are making out.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-01 09:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My first -2Die...
-2DIE
haha -I like to do that- haha
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-01 09:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Captain Foamy sucks ass, fucker.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-12 04:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-08 20:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beeetch Corndog. Ees okay. Ees a nice car.
Submitted by shadowofthedivine (user info) at 2005-05-08 20:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well this was bollocks
although, imagine how shit it would be if you didn't react to external
stimuli, what the hell could you do?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-08 20:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey! Thanks for the auto -2! Enjoy your days in Uberland. They're running out. Faggot.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-06 11:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-06 08:10:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Get back to mowing my lawn.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-06 08:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Get back to mowing my lawn.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-06 07:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm not seeing the "funny" in this is. It's not that difficult to act gay when you really ARE gay.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-05-06 04:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i see what you did done here sonny jim.
i LOVE weetabix though
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We can wear matching scrunchies to the tanning salon!!
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For the record. I like star wars. This is a parody. I'm not responding to any more comments.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
god damn, thats the second time someone has slammed star wars today.
is it so wrong to actually like star wars? i mean, fuck man.
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PoTtY (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:47:07 (#)
Ranking: -2
I am mexican.
======
Sigh. Parody anyone?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65757
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-06 00:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
for some reason, it "Made me smile"
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not female, but I'll try the other.
Submitted by PoTtY (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am mexican.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi there...
Wanna do it?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should try hooking up with MyIdiom. You've absolutely nothing in common, including your sense of humour, but I heard she puts out for anybody.
Submitted by Cyndygrrl (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will give you the 2 just cause it actually reminds me of this guy from highschool
The poor bastard..
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best parody EVAR
Submitted by MyIdiom (user info) at 2005-05-05 23:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment