Pedicabo et Irrumabo: Several Poems by Catullus (1212 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Grammar Nazi (View user info) at 2005-05-07 00:35:47 EDT
~~Poem 16~~
To Aurelius and Furius
I'm going to rape you, front and back,
You queer and you nymphomaniac.
You think you can tell from my verse, because
It is soft, that I must be decadent too.
Of course a respectable life becomes
A serious poet; his poems, however,
are free, provided they have some wit
and charm, however decadent they
may be, and stir up and itch in their readers,
not boys, I say, but hairy sods,
nether parts of solid lead.
You read about infinite kisses and dare
to think my masculinity slack!
I'm going to rape you, front and back.
~~Poem 28~~
To Veranius and Fabullus
Piso's penniless retinue,
His personal comrades, how do you do?
How trim and light you satchels look!
How easy to lift. Did attending the crook
Give you your fill of famine and frost?
And what were your total profits... lost?
My praetor was every bit as bad.
Losses were all I had to add.
"Memmius, how adroitly you slipped
your dick between my complaisant lips!"
You two had a similar fate, it would seem:
Stuffed by an equally powerful beam.
"Acquire noble friends" indeed!
Damn those men who spatter shame
On Romulus' and Remus' name.
~~Poem 41~~
The girl Ameana, a veteran whore,
Thinks she can charge ten thousand sesterces,
The girl who sports that hideous nose,
The Formian deadbeat's female companion.
Neighbors and kinsmen who care for the girl,
Summon her friends and physicians together!
She's out of her mind and not inclined
To consult the image-producing bronze.
User Reviews
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-05-07 13:37:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1, since I can't +2 non-original posts.
Hopefully this'll counter the -1 by the asshat below.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-05-07 01:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Black
Noir
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-07 01:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am quite certain you should have that lip looked at by a doctor.