Rating (386 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -1.25 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hooloovoo (View user info) at 2005-05-07 16:13:09 EDT
+2: Kicker of all ass.
Uber, here you could not be more clear. By rating the above post +2, you think that it's the best post you've ever seen - it kicks the ass of every other post ever before it. I grasp completely the logic behind this, the highest and most puissant of all ratings. And yet...how come many posts get this, and many posters give multiple +2's in a day?
Perhaps they think each new post they read is better than the last? Aha! Eureka! That must be it - my faith in the logical application of the English language by the good folks at Ubersite has been restored. Many apologies for doubting you, great ones, 'twas the fault of the Uberusers, not your august selves.
+1: Made me smile.
I of course have no kind of bovine-extracted meat product with the wording of this rating. If the post makes you smile, you give it a +1. Oh Uber, how learned is thou, who make ratings idiot-proof, so that even the unwashed masses like myself can understand them with clarity.
Unless...what if a post that, in all it's resplendent glory, deserves a +2, what if that post makes me smile? What if a post that I should rate +0, -1 or -2 makes me smile? Oh dear God in heaven, what do I do!? * wail of utter despair * Oh Uber, how thou cursest me so...
+0: Worth Reading.
Ah, now here, Uber, you have hit the metaphorical nail square on the metaphorical head. If the post is worth reading, I give it a +0. Simplicity in its very self, I must say. How terribly clever you are to invent a completely non-ambiguous rating.
Hold on...surely any post that deserves a +1 or the Holy Grail of all ratings, the legendary (and long thought extinct) +2, is obviously Worth Reading? It must be! Then what rating do I give it? A 0? A +1? A +2? Agghhgghgggh! Uber, you mock my ignorance!
-1: I've seen better.
This one has to be safe, doesn't it...? I mean, it's a negative rating, indicating a post of less than average quality. Right? So, you've obviously seen better. Right? Yes, that's it. Phew. This one's sorted.
Wait. Ah shite. Surely, unless you give a post a +2 rating (thereby indicating that kicks the ass off anything you have previously seen, up to and including a five-minute break between reviews), then you've seen a post better (the deserver of said +2)...? So, by this impeccable logic, any post that is not a +2 must be a -1. Right? No? *gibbers insanely*
-2: Don't Bother.
Finally, brothers and sisters of Uber, we have firm ground after much hard toil. If the post is so bad that it deserves a -2 rating, then everyone else shouldn't even waste their time looking at it.
There. A rating that works. It must. I proved it by logic. Right...? Surely, they're can't be a mistake. No, not a mistake *gibber*...not after all this time...all this effort to understand, to see...no, no...no...no *cackles*
*runs off, muttering slightly*
Join IOUASCRS*
*Idiots Of Uber Against Slightly Confusing Rating Systems
User Reviews
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-05-17 14:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-05-17 12:27:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
You're psychic? How did you know I was going to review this before I did?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Because you're understandably obsessed with me (you are only human, after all...)
And so I knew you'd have to review the post at some point.
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-05-17 12:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're psychic? How did you know I was going to review this before I did?
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-05-07 19:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, Shlongy, Shlongy, Shlongy.
Did you realise that I was extracting the urine?
Didja? Didja? Didja?
Ah fuck. Reduced to heckling Shlongy like all those other sad fucks. Jeez, I'm sorry. *morose warbling*
Oh, and fuck you for that -2. Have a nice day. Or night. :-) (without *any* sarcasm...well..)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-07 19:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If there was a prime example of a -3 in this world, this post would be right up there.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-05-07 18:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Even if I was joking?
For fucks sake, are you all completely mentally insipid?
For a start, discounting the satircal bullshite, the rating thingy is actually marginally nonsensical, but I assumed that everyone at Ubersite would realise that it's only small grammatical shite, and obviously, eveyone gets along without bothering about it.
Obviously, thinks I, you are all smart enough to ignore small points like that. Well, you've just stripped me of any faith in your intelligence that I had. Maybe some of those users who haven't reviewed this yet have some modicum of brainpower...and no, Darqus, I don't mean you. Go suck mancock. :-)
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-05-07 18:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I meant "funny." But my eggs are runny.
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-05-07 18:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Even if you were joking, it wasn't that runny.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-05-07 18:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh come *on*...please, please tell me, please, reassure me of human intelligence.
Did you think I was joking or being serious?
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-05-07 17:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You're just asking for negative ratings followed by:
-2: Don't Bother.
Finally, brothers and sisters of Uber, we have firm ground after much hard toil. If the post is so bad that it deserves a -2 rating, then everyone else shouldn't even waste their time looking at it.
There. A rating that works. It must. I proved it by logic. Right...? Surely, they're can't be a mistake. No, not a mistake *gibber*...not after all this time...all this effort to understand, to see...no, no...no...no *cackles*
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-05-07 16:56:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I have seen better.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-07 16:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2: Don't Bother.
Finally, brothers and sisters of Uber, we have firm ground after much hard toil. If the post is so bad that it deserves a -2 rating, then everyone else shouldn't even waste their time looking at it.
There. A rating that works. It must. I proved it by logic. Right...? Surely, they're can't be a mistake. No, not a mistake *gibber*...not after all this time...all this effort to understand, to see...no, no...no...no *cackles*
*runs off, muttering slightly*
Join IOUASCRS*
*Idiots Of Uber Against Slightly Confusing Rating Systems
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-05-07 16:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-05-07 16:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've always viewed the ratings as pretty self-explainatory.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-07 16:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I want the 15 seconds I spent scanning this back, god damnit.
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-05-07 16:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not confused.