An ode to my grandfather (kinda long, kinda stupid) (672 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.88 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by knucklesnelson (View user info) at 2005-05-09 11:00:55 EDT
Dear Grandfather,
Last night I found out you died. The parkinson's finally did you in. Seems like only yesterday we were all together as a family celebrating your birthday. You were a strong man, a self made man. You came to this country from the Ukraine in 1957. You came with nothing, only a wife, five children, and the clothes on your back. Sounds pretty inspiring doesnt it? You started your own business, got your own home. All on your own. You made the ultimate american dream come true. A self made man. You did all of this, without hardly knowing a lick of english.
But unfortunately we are not all perfect. You sure were'nt. You were an alchoholic, a drunk if you will. Grandpa sure loved his vodka. I have fond memories as a child of sitting on your lap. Getting a contact buzz from the scent of Mad dog 20/20 and vodka rolling off your breath. Ahh good times.
You was'nt the most easy tempered man either. Ahh all the broken bones, black eyes, bruises dear granny endured. Yet she stayed married to you for over 60 years. In a sense I think she did it to out live you, to maybe dance on your grave. For all the time you had hurt, either physically, or by sleeping with all the neighborhood ladies that would let you.
And your children always remained loyal to you. Of course I'm talking about the ones you brought with you to america. Not the one or two you left fatherless behind in the Ukraine. Did'nt they have rubbers back then grand-dad?
It's amazing though that through this all everyone had so much love for you. The lessons you taught to everyone just by living your life. And I guess I can't complain. Without you I would'nt exist. You taught me about the value of hard work. Everything my father taught me in life you in essence taught me through him, as he passed it along to me.
So please know that when I take time to think about you, it will be of the good times. Not the bad. I will still see you as I did when I was 6, and you were the coolest guy around. Not at what you became, a 83 year old shitty diaper wearing, shaking worse than Michael J. Fox with a vibrator stuck up his ass shell of a man that you used to be. Please know that I dont hold anything against you, your in my heart you always will be. Rest in peice Deed.
Love Always,
Mike
User Reviews
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2005-09-03 04:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Worser
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-13 01:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Half-hearted lamentation.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Posts like this don't deserve a -2, if only because they're real - not some photocropped image or lame joke page.
Sorry about your loss, dude.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got my grandfathers initial tattooed on my arm.
He ruled, much like yours did.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-09 15:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Natsukau, isnt that japanese for Nut sucker, good luck with all of that.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow thanks for your input whoever you are. Not that I've even heard of you.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Kinda stupid? Kinda? Thats the same as "You're kinda retarded." You either are, or you aren't. And you most definitely are.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:17:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah i know i suck
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
was'nt ??
"Wasn't"
it made me laugh though... I liked the ending twist.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa. It's hard to watch a big, strong man whom you admire waste away like that. My Grandpa Emil died of Alzheimer's and it was really sad.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and looking at it, it was'nt as long as what i thought it was. But if you look through the crap I have posted before. It's pretty long.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Deed= ukranian for grandpa
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Before you get out your -2's I wanted to beat you all to it.