Zero-defect Bullshit In Corporate America: Six Sigma (1732 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.41 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shooter M (View user info) at 2005-05-09 15:57:03 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-25 02:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sometimes I think the only way to get rich is by telling other people how to do their jobs.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-06-25 01:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It must be very uncomfortable to shit out your mouth the first time, much like karate chopping wood.
were we talking about sigma 6, I meant that is a great study of systems, process, contract engineering all rolled into one. Except "more efficient" then loses all touch with reality or common sense.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-10 08:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, I'm a 6 Sigma Green Belt here at work (Caterpillar) and I can certainly see your POV.
Hence, my one sentence 6 Sigma summary: Find out what works best, and then do more of it.
:)
In all actuality, for companies that had poor/zero project methodology, 6 Sigma is a good thing.
I don't think it was necessary here though. Being a large Fortune 500 company, we had processes in place already.
But then, we are at record profits now...because of 6 sigma? Could be. Maybe not. Hard to say.
Either way, it pays my bills.
Submitted by UrfTheWog (user info) at 2005-05-09 23:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You son of a bitch. I've been thinking of taking a full time job from being a consultant and after reading this it brought vivid memories of why I HATE working for large corporations as an employee - all that friggin management bullshit, "team building exercises", countless mind-numbing meetings having nothing to do with my actual work, and ineffective middle managers who graduated from Ivy League schools who come up with this stuff to validate their existence.
+2 for relevance
-1 for reminding me what my inevitable future is going to be
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-05-09 18:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Har har
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-09 17:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You have understand that GE has about 300 000 employees and is a multi facteded conglomerate.
Companies don't get to be that size by accident or serendipity.
Sure the mechanisms and 'training' seems ridiculous to someone like you--but to GE a well trained employee is worth thousands of dollars.
'Well trained' being the operative phrase ie. robotic.
And Kai, Corporate Canada isn't much different than Corporate America--the real difference between the two exists in taxation and capital gains. In America there's incentives for companies to become larger and more profitable, in Canada, there's penalities for becoming too large.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-05-09 17:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ugh. I used to work for a media company in NYC. We'd have quarterly staff meetings in which we'd take four hours out of a day to discuss things that could easily be summed up in three bullet points on one side of a piece of paper. Thank goodness I escaped before I had ever heard of "Six Sigma" or whatever this crap is. Why does it take a process named after a number followed by a Greek letter to motivate people?
Then again, I'd like a nifty green belt.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-05-09 17:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Friday is hawaiian shirt day...
Submitted by SimianSidestep (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
They tried to brainwash me in Green Belt training too. You know it's bad when a manufacturing philosophy (and it is only a philosophy) starts having little succubus offshoots like, Design for Six Sigma and Technical-Design for Six Sigma and Six Sigma Blitz that can be 'applied' to non-manufacturing projects. It's like making sequels to B-movies, sure it's got a couple of boob shots but they still never give you the full monty.
Submitted by Zootismygod (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have been working at my company almost 4 years. We have that Six Sigma bullshit here, too, and in 4 yrs, no one has been able to explain it to me. All I know is if we don't meet them, our bonuses are smaller. Of course, that probably IS why no one explains it.... they hate us and want us to be broke and stupid.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THANK GOD Canadians don't piss around with bullshit like this.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I work for IBM, and we had this Six Sigma garbage last year. They never did explain what it would do for us, just like you described. They pimped the idea as if it were the tool to save us from sending jobs overseas, but never gave us a practical application of it.
I never understood it. It seemed more like manipulating data to show weare better than we are.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was also once submitted to the GE implementation of six sigma. Holy shit was that stupid.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:25:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:06:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Six Sigma is teh ghey
But Kaizen now that is the shit
And maybe some Lean Manufacturing to go with it.
_______
I actually plan of shifting my career into this, so thanks for the extra buzzwords - I'm also brushing up on my Hindi, as should you all.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked at Tyco for 3 years with this stupid Six Sigma bullshit. They never explained it to us, they just referenced it over and over. I thought it was a corporate kung-fu class. My supervisor was black belt. Fuck Tyco. And ADT.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Six Sigma is teh ghey
But Kaizen now that is the shit
And maybe some Lean Manufacturing to go with it.
Submitted by corporate_drone0723 (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
As I too work for a GE Capital company and feel your pain have a +2.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Six Sigma is in fact BS.