You think you deserve presents? (861 hits)
Category: Politics -> Election 2004Rating: 0.5 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Santa Claus (View user info) at 2005-05-11 12:49:48 EDT
Often on Ubersite I get comments that are from angry Uberers who didn't get what they wanted when they were a kid. Whether it be a deck of cards of a BB gun, they are still pissed at me because they didn't get it. Oh, sure, they heard I wasn't real, but ever since I started posting on Ubersite, they have learned why I had to go underground for so many years and spread the rumor that I was dead.
As you all know, I have a list of all the kids who celebrate Christmas, and I judge each and every one. If you don't celebrate Christmas because your parents are lazy-ass Agnostics or Atheists, you're shit out of luck. If you're a Jew, I break your windows.
But you all expect presents no matter how bad you were in the months before Christmas, so long as you were good from December 15th to the 24th! No, that's not how it works. So few kids are actually good that I have to give half the bad kids some slack and give them presents anyway.
So when you open your presents next Christmas and all you see is some coal, remember that I made eight Vietnamese boys die to mine that coal and you should be grateful that I even stopped at your house. Those who don't get anything... you know why.
This fucker thought that he deserved presents:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54607
If you click on the user info section, you'll see that this is his last post. That's because I killed him. Actually, I shouldn't say that I killed him, it was the dynamite bomb under his bed. So if you think you deserve presents, just write a nice letter. Don't be a fuckhead and bitch like this guy did.
User Reviews
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-22 06:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-12 04:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey Santa, I'm not playing here
I got a SRM-6 ready,
in the event you try and pass my fucking house again
without leaving something.
Bitch
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-11 21:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53703
i'll refer you to our conversation ;)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-05-11 13:54:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
Way to go Santa, don't take any guff from these fucking swine.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-05-11 13:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Way to go Santa, don't take any guff from these fucking swine.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-11 13:51:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
w00t. dec 15 is my birthday!
mr santa claus ( doo doo do ) bring me a dream..
(bum bum bum bum!) make him the cutest that i've ever seen...
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-11 13:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChronicMasturbator (user info) at 2005-05-11 12:52:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 BURN JEW BURN JEW
Santa Claus = Jewish Conspiracy
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Hahahahaha
Submitted by Santa_Claus_ (user info) at 2005-05-11 13:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Loser.
Submitted by ChronicMasturbator (user info) at 2005-05-11 12:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 BURN JEW BURN JEW
Santa Claus = Jewish Conspiracy