Twelve things guys want to say to you but don't. (1105 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.1 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (View user info) at 2005-05-11 15:32:40 EDT
This list is in the current issue of Glamour and is a bunch of crap. I have personally been told 8 out of the 12 listed. What a bunch of malarchy.
1. Too. Much. Makeup.
2. Please, please order more than just a salad.
3. They all look like cubic zirconia to me.
4. I heard a noise. Can you go check it out?
5. Could you possibly do that thing my ex-girlfriend used to do?
6. I think your mom is kinda sexy.
7. Frankly, I'm scared of your dad.
8. Can you be on top? I'm tired.
9. Shoot honey, don't ask me! I can't figure out the damn iPod either.
10. Nice rack!
11. Really? You've slept with 20 people? That's 10 more than me.
12. Shh! You're gonna wake my roomate.
Glamour I'm disappointed. Here's how I think it SHOULD have read.
1. You're cute, but your friend is way hotter.
2. I LOVE Sex and the City!
3. Magnum's are just too big for me.
4. Hell no, YOU kill that spider!
5. I really don't know anything about cars.
6. I sleep with a stuffed animal named Mr. Bear T. Boynkins III
7. Yes, that outfit DOES make you look fat. Why don't you go work out for about 14 hours.
8. I hope you swallow.
9. If you tell me one more of my friends is hot, I'll pull my hair out.
10. Your perfume actually smells like ass.
11. I really could care less about what you and your friend are fighting about. Can't you just shut up and gimme some head? Gosh...
12. You were right. Again.
User Reviews
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-12 11:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not funny or interesting
Submitted by hairjr (user info) at 2005-05-12 11:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
im a guy.. and this post.. was .. meh
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-05-12 00:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God Almighty! Glamour? Shit, the goddamn things chicks obsess about! Fuck it! Guys obsess about tits, obsess about tits, blow their wad and can get on with the real world. But with chicks it just rolls over and over and over...... No wonder guys make more money.
Submitted by Lets_B_Friends (user info) at 2005-05-11 18:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you be my friend?
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:44:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things. Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds.
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I'll never make it out of here alive without golf shoes!
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The actual list should be titled: "Things guys with no balls have to keep bottled up until they die of a massive coronary."
Not too bad as a post, I would say. Keep improving.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:31:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:14:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love how when ever a female posts a list of this nature, a bunch of apes have to mark their territory with -2s.
They do this to hide their latent homo tendencies, btw.
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Latent? Who's latent? I'm as queer as Elton John prancing around in a pink tutu screaming "I'm a pony! I'm a pony!"
That said, this kinda really sucked. I really do hope you swallow; for your sake.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hahaha.. what shitfuck said.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've said about 85% of this stuff.
Then again, I don't think I'm normal.
Bwarrrr
Submitted by griffsrgr8 (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love how when ever a female posts a list of this nature, a bunch of apes have to mark their territory with -2s.
They do this to hide their latent homo tendencies, btw.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh...god no, make it go away.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pussy Fart
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This list is in the current issue of Glamour
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That's as far as I needed to go to deem this -2 worthy.
I hope you aren't from Canisius.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:44:14 (#)
Ranking: -2
I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things. Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds.
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Order some fucking golf shoes!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can boil all this stuff down to the one thing that guys really want to say to women:
Shut your talk-hole and do me. Then flake off till I'm ready to get did again. w00t
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Give me a dollar. I'll put it on the Uberboard for you.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
....?
Submitted by Disenchanted_lullaby (user info) at 2005-05-11 16:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i thought this was a pretty funny post, and im a guy
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
8. I hope you swallow.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
don't read glamour.
i say most of the second list.
magnums would be too big for me.
your friend is probably hotter than you.
i hope you swallow.
etc
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things. Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you suck down a lot of cock.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-04-16 03:00:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
Mr. Gun, meet Mr. Head. Mr. Finger, meet Mr. Trigger.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why don't men and women just agree to disagree? I'm tired of all the recriminations and declarations of one sex's superiority to the other. It's infantile and tired.
That said, your revised list is pretty funny.
Submitted by Flash (user info) at 2005-05-11 15:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you kidding me?