Advice, Recycled CamWhore (746 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.67 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by M Les <mles76.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-05-11 18:54:40 EDT
Dear Uber,
Being the best looking user who visits this web address I thought I might offer some tips to all the shut-ins who surf this mad, mad site. You may think you're as cool and as attractive as I but you're not. That's right, you're ugly. I'm not writing about the uber ladies. You all look great to me and there are one or two who frequent this site that I would consider lying on top of.
So all you male uberers listen up:
The quicker you accept your lack of attractiveness and start working on your charm instead of spending all your time shopping at the Gap to try to fit in with the cool crowd the better life will be for everyone. Like I said, you're ugly, work on your charm.
If some how some girl is drunk enough to talk to a loser like you just keep it simple. Don't try to be funny or impress her with stories about how many hits you have on Ubersite. It's just not cool and like I said you're ugly. Work on your charm by trying not to talk.
You have a small penis. I've never seen you naked thank god. I just know you have a small penis. Instead of showing girls your genital glitch try to hide it and work on your charm by shutting the hell up with your pants on.
Don't ever talk about your job with a girl you just met. Your job sucks as much as you do. It's a solid organizational fit. Management needed to fill a shit job so they picked a shit person. You're too ugly to have a good job so don't talk about it.
Ugly people are known failures but try to make up for their shortcomings by telling lies like how you were in the Mafia (and your mafia connections don't mind you posting about it on the internet) or the Special Forces in Iraq or how you're a pro gambler. Don't do it. Don't lie. Don't make up nonsense about how good looking you are and offer advice based on said bullshit to total strangers. Not very charming.
Don't ever be bitter about you're ugliness by giving good-looking people a -2 rating for telling you the truth. It makes you look petty. You're already ugly, don't add petty to the list of your shortcomings.
Basically being fully clothed, honest, and shutting the hell up is your only chance at success in this world. Good luck with that. Bring on the anger.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 08:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO ONE is better looking than Shlongy. In theory.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-12 08:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who's bitter now?
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-05-12 04:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i'm vaguely amused
Submitted by thehauntfest (user info) at 2005-05-12 03:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG!!! OMG!!! You just totally dunked on me Shaq!
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-05-11 22:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2005-05-11 19:10:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
I knowwwww you are not talking about me bitches!!
Do you have a small penis?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I keep it hidden in my pocket where no one can see......
Oh shit!! That was just my vibrator!!
<sighs thankfully>
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-11 19:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yawn*
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2005-05-11 19:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I knowwwww you are not talking about me bitches!!
Do you have a small penis?
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-05-11 19:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I knowwwww you are not talking about me bitches!!
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-05-11 19:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm so beautiful I get a hard-on when I look at myself in the mirror every morning.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2005-05-11 19:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm better looking than Shlongy.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-11 19:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What are you, the Canadian Shlongy????
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-11 18:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bmp files make the baby Jeebus cry
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-11 18:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, you're wrong - I'm a total eyesore.