LAZARUS (Part 5 - Final) (695 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.69 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Yes (View user info) at 2005-05-12 12:58:06 EDT
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/65868
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/65966
Part 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/66052
Part 4: http://www.ubersite.com/m/66099
"Eternity... is as none of us can imagine. It exists not only outside of time and space, but also as a compliment to both. While time stretches only backwards and forwards, eternity stretches in every direction until it seems there can be nothing else.
"It is a great, unending dream—whose dream, I am not sure. But when I emerged on the other side of that pool, I stepped from one dream into another.
"I saw... I saw everything at once. I saw the Beginning and the End and realized that they are one in the same. I saw God, a great and powerful sphere, explode with such force that I wasn't sure there was anything left of Him afterwards. I saw Him, a continuous conflagration, ignite the sea of Nothing until the Earth was at once created and destroyed.
"I saw suns and moons and stars upon stars held in place by the sound of the explosion, and saw lines of force converge in the hearts of men.
"I saw the angels for what they truly are and was afraid. I saw the sky curdle as milk, split by the scream of great, hollow birds. I saw Rome rise and fall and rise again. I saw Jesus move from man to concept—idea—the man himself forgotten completely. I saw the world burst into blossom as a great man's eyes were opened, and I saw the Earth weep as men learned to hate their mothers.
"I saw more than I can describe or understand, and I knew that Heaven and Hell existed in no way the finite mind can ever begin to grasp. In a flash so total and instant that emotion was destroyed—perhaps forever—I saw the trick of life as well as its secret. And in two sentences, all of it was undone.
"'Lazarus.'
"I hovered there in the midst of all things and did not answer. The words vibrated from earth to eternity and spoke to the pit of my belly.
"'Lazarus, come forth.'
"It was Aramaic, it was Greek, it was Latin, Spanish, English—Every tongue that was or will be. It was a language that predates all things, spoken by a man who was not a man. A man who was a concept to confound man throughout the ages. I was afraid.
"Lazarus of Nazareth, son of Josiah, come forth!
"At first, my body only answered as my spirit hung back, unsure. It rose inside the cave and stood swaying, trembling as if from intense cold.
"I floated in that other place, vacillating, as my body sought the open entrance to the tomb.
"Suddenly, I was thrust through the film between worlds and hovered there over the cave, watching as my body shambled from its rest, hands and feet still bound with rags. Jesus stared straight up into the sky—looking right at me with closed eyes.
"I raged against him, calling up a wind with something less than a thought. Jesus stood with his spindly legs planted for purchase, his hands still raised to the sky.
"The townspeople cried out and covered their faces as lightning split the sky. I felt something stir deep inside Jesus' body, and it reached out and took hold of my ethereal form. I was yanked higher into the sky by an invisible hand and then hurled headlong into my body.
"I tore at my grave clothes until I could see, and my eyes locked on Jesus' face. I lunged at him.
"My hands fit easily around his throat as we rolled in the dust. I struck him once, twice, three times, before Peter and his brother James tore me away from him.
"I was mad with hatred and pain, filled with a rage that pinwheeled in my mind and threatened to rain down violence upon the defenseless man. I struggled against Peter and his brother, spittle flying from my sandy mouth.
"'Why have you done this?' I screamed. 'Why have you done this thing? I'll kill you!'
"At last I broke away from the fishermen and aimed a kick at Jesus' head. To this day I don't know who hit me, but the force of the blow brought darkness."
Luke was silent as Lazarus regarded him expectantly.
"I have nothing to say," Luke said finally. "Go on."
"Jesus flinched when I opened my eyes, but the memory of my attack didn't stay him for long. He reached out a hand and touched my shoulder as I lay there, staring up at the ceiling. I realized after a moment that no sense of overwhelming power filled the room. That the man who sat beside the bed was only that for the moment.
"'Lazarus, I'm sorry,' he told me softly. 'Perhaps I should never have called you back to life. I know... I know the crossing isn't easy. But I had to, do you see? When I am gone there will be nothing left. No wife, no children, nothing. Everything I am will be colored by what this one misheard or what that one misremembers. You are my oldest and dearest friend, and when I think of you safe at home while the world flies to pieces and I along with it... I feel that part of me, part of who I really am, will survive. Do you understand?'
"I watched his eyes for a space. 'No,' I answered.
"He sighed explosively and shook his head. 'I know. I knew before I asked. But given the chance, maybe someday you will.' And he left."
Lazarus was silent for a long time, and after a few minutes, Luke realized that the man meant to say no more. "Well...?" Luke said slowly.
"Well what?"
"What happened after that?"
"After that? Nothing. Everything. Two months later, he was executed for treason against the Roman Empire. For inciting a disturbance during Passover..."
"I saw Jesus only once after the execution. The apostles hid somewhere in Jerusalem. They feared themselves powerless and hunted now that their master was dead. Perhaps Jesus had tried to explain his plan to them, but in any case, they were thoroughly unprepared for his arrest—not to mention his death.
"I accuse the apostles of missing the point, but I know little more than they. I know what all of you thought Jesus meant to accomplish, and I know you're largely wrong, but beyond that...? You have to understand that everything changed for him when he died. Before that, he had only a vague idea of who or what he was. He didn't know that after his death, after he was reunified, everything would change. That his hopes and aims would be as nothing in the face of his own truth.
"I needed to see the Place of the Skulls. I needed to see where they had executed him. Times were tough for Galileans in the city, and Mary and Martha didn't want me to go. I couldn't stay away.
"By the time I ventured into the city, Jesus had been dead for four days. Jerusalem had an air of chaos about it. They say that with Jesus' death, the graves had yawned and the curtain in the temple had been rent in half. I know nothing of that, but I know that everyone thought the world was ending.
"The Place of the Skulls was frightening. The crosses leaned against the sky and Jewish blood cried out from the pebbly ground. Night came on as I stood there, and the moon hung low and malignant. Dark clouds sailed before it, briefly bearding its silver majesty. There was no music that night.
"I caught sight of him once night had fully claimed the city. He was curled in around himself, his arms clasped about his knees. He was naked, and his body was more wasted than ever. He looked just like a corpse. Blood flowed sluggishly from his side, and he rocked back and forth, his eyes wide and shocked.
"'They didn't have to spear me,' he said.
"'Who?' I asked, but I don't think he heard me.
"'I was already dead. They shouldn't have speared me. Lazarus?'
"'What is it?'
"'Lazarus, I understand now. I should never have brought you back. It was wrong.'
"'I have no response to that.'
"'I sent Judas to Hell. I didn't mean to. It was just... I was so ...angry.' His face collapsed as he spoke and twisted into a snarl. 'I knew from the start that he hated me. I thought it was a good thing. That he would keep me honest. Make me work harder. And in the end, he dared kiss me.'
"'Perhaps he found it all too hard to understand.'
"Jesus rose and stood before me. 'Perhaps,' he answered. 'But what makes him so special? Why does he deserve to understand any more than anyone else? Why do any of them?'
"'Maybe they don't. We don't. But you're a god. If you explain yourself clearly to them, answer their questions, make them understand... then maybe life won't be so hard to take. If you're truly a god, understanding is the best gift you could give us.'
"'You still don't understand,' he told me. 'I owe you nothing, I—we—gave you everything you've ever had. We fashioned you from nothing. I can demand from you all undying devotion for nothing in return. I can wipe out everything there is—and I will. And it won't be right or wrong. I am not bound by your morals because as your god, my extremes inform your morality.'
"'If you believe that, then why did you come here?'
"'For the same simple reason I ever did anything,' he answered with a shrug. 'It seemed like a good idea at the time.'
"'So... there's no point to all this? You spawned all this madness and pain as a passing fancy?'
"He shrugged. 'What if I did?'
"'Then you don't deserve praise—or even respect.'
"'In whose opinion—yours? A creature of mud and sticks, given life by me? Watch your tongue lest I choose this moment to destroy you and everyone else.'
"'Jesus, listen to me. I want you to do something for me.'
"He paused, wary. 'What?'
"'Leave us. For a while. Let us fight it out and wrestle with it all and glean some meaning from the chaos. Maintain the silence you've kept these four hundred years and leave us alone until we understand.'
"He was amused. 'You're incapable of understanding.'
"'Why? Because you made us in your image and you don't understand it all? If you didn't create us to determine the meaning of existence, then go ahead and destroy us right now. But what if by doing that, you miss your chance? What if we can tell you the one thing you don't know: why you exist?'
"'Does that really matter?'
"'I don't know. Does it?'
"He frowned and cocked his head. 'You want me to abandon creation. Just like that. No pillars of fire or cloud? No Chosen People?'
"'It wouldn't be abandonment. You've set rules in place. They'll speak for you. They'll keep order.'
"'You think you people can study yourselves and your world and tell me why I exist?'
"'Yes.'
"'And if it takes you forever...?'
"'Maybe we mud-people will destroy ourselves long before we arrive at an answer. Who knows?'
"He smiled. 'Deal. Deal, Lazarus. When I am gone, I will keep silent. I will erase this body from the earth, and leave you all to your task. How does it feel to have struck a bargain with God?'
"'Like I've done only what you wanted.'
"'You know, Lucifer was right. Making you intelligent really was a good idea.'
"And with that, he was simply gone."
"Then you know the meaning of life, and you've just told it to me."
"Have I?" Lazarus asked. "Well, so I have."
"Should I put it in my book? Should I tell anyone?"
"I don't know. Should you?"
"You... I don't know."
"Young man, the day is hot, and now it's time for my nap. Go out, get drunk, and write your book. Do what you will, but do it somewhere else."
When Luke was gone, Lazarus stretched and looked to the ceiling. "Well, Lord, have I done the right thing?" he asked. And as usual, there was no answer.
User Reviews
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-23 15:55:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Came back and labelled these all as uberbook material.
Write more real stuff Foo!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-06-30 14:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WINNER! http://www.ubersite.com/m/69673
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-05-18 15:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, stabkill, you floppy cunt,. -2ing my post because I gave you a zero. You truly are a sad excuse for a human being.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-05-18 00:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry. The retarded monkey got out of its cage and didn't like this post.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-05-18 00:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-05-16 14:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are really talented.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-05-13 00:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job on the ending, it fit with the piece really well and didn't leave the reader unsatisfied.
Submitted by Flaahgra (user info) at 2005-05-12 23:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's the problem with series like this...they have to end at some point. It makes me sad, but at least the ending was great; it fit with the rest of the series in that aspect.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-05-12 23:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderfully written, and the comic was somehow utterly random and yet perfect.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-12 16:37:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Snark - you are very welcome. I am so glad I stumbled across this.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-12 15:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read the whole thing again.
I read the entire series twice... I NEVER do that.
Thank you for pointing this out to me Munkey.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-12 14:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the ending! It fits so perfectly with the state of the world.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-05-12 13:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beautiful
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-05-12 13:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful. Thank you.
Submitted by miss_tila (user info) at 2005-05-12 13:51:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was wondering were you would go with this..you did a great job.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-05-12 13:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Involuntary anal gullet discharge, ya?
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-05-12 13:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks shitfuck, that's some usful info there.
you rock.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-12 13:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
I. Love. The. Ending!!
This was excellent! Thank you for writing it.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-12 13:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH I STUCK MY THUMB IN MY ASS BEFORE