ShlongyMadness-2005 "The Rules" (Kinda NSFW) (2466 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.05 on 94 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I'm Shlongy, Dammit (View user info) at 2005-05-12 21:52:32 EDT
Well, I've been quite busy with work, my new promotion, trying to figure out how to blow the extra 50k a year I'll be making, masturbating, eating and drinking, Ubering, golfing etc., so I am just now getting around to reading my emails from various concerned and helpful Uberites, regarding ShlongyMadness-2005.
There were a quite a few of you who, because of the new, stringent, anti-Uber, anti-fun, anti-fair, anti-heterosexual policies that the Uber Elite geek squad has imposed on UberMadness 2005, well, let's just say that you are being invited "not to particpate".
I called "discrimation against bad writers, shit posters, newbies, assholes, pre-pubescent zitheads, retards," etc., and as usual, I was right.
With a veritable groundswell of support, I was forced nto the position of "Commissioner-For-Life" of the writing tournament for what I will call "the Uber outcasts". Hence, ShlongyMadness - 2005 was born.
Here's how it will work.
First of all, you are not eligible to partake in the fun and shennanigans that IS ShlongyMadness- 2005 if you are particpating in UberMadness. I don't discrimate against talent; I just don't think you can have "your head in the game" of two contests that are running simultaneously.
Other than that, for the rest of you morons, here are the rules that we have established thus far.
1) Sign up
2) Feel free to insult me
3) Insult some other dipshits, too
4) I'll "seed" you, and in the case of any hot Uber broads, I'll "seed you" in a different way if you're up to the task at hand. And, at penis. If you catch my drift.
5) Ummmmmmmmmm
6) .....
7)zzzzzzzzzzzzz
8) ?
9) (yawn)
10) I got nothing here.
11) Rules fucking suck
12) See 11
Anyway, if you have any ideas for a rule, or just feel like being your own usual rude and dumbass self, I'd recommend you drop by with your suggestions...and as long as you're in the neighborhood, drop by with numerous hits and it wouldn't kill you to give Shlongy a good rating for a change.
After all, look at all the work I've done so far...for you, the Uber commoner, or Uber loser, if you will.
Also, we mght have trophies for winning ShlongyMadness - 2005...those other pricks don't have jack shit. So there.
OK, that's about it from here in the Commissioner's office. One of my greyhounds is farting up a MAJOR storm and it's unbearable ...P.U...and Mrs. Shlongy has requested "the lumber" so I gotta run.
I'll probably be finished in what, 4 minutes. But those will be quality minutes. Fuck you. I hear you laughing.
I will now hypnotize you. Hike.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:51:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is old school, dude.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I thought this was recent.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post DID need a couple hundred more hits....
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the hell you talkin aboot? Shlongy is all KINDS of awesome!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, that Dane guy is just all over the map, ain't he?
Submitted by Dane1901 (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're also a douchebag.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-15 18:28:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-11-03 13:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone know what happened in this contest? Who won?
Did I???
Submitted by Danzxc (user info) at 2005-07-28 23:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You still suck dick -2 bitch
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-27 22:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:00:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
As Anthony Michael Hall once said...
"I'm kind of like the King of the dipshits".
Wooooooooeeeeeee!
He also said "Not many girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me. "
-----------------------------------------
Hahahaha you worry me shlongy hehehehe
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
What are you, 11 years old, dipshit?
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
No.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Boring, boring man.
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Eat my ass, again, fagouche
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-05-17 13:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll make it easier, mate.
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/grimrita.htm
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-05-16 00:16:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
here's the rating you deserve in life, asslicker.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 14:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have seemingly uncovered a "loophole", JohnyX. Smart ass bastard.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-13 14:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice contest, nice pic - and I'm competing in both contests, dipshit, see Rule #11 as for why...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-13 14:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 12:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought we made it clear. One contest or the other. You cannot enter both.
I don't want the "talented and popular writers and people" dominating the "retards and ignorant assmunches" who would most likely take part in ShlongyMadness -2005.
Or, maybe I don't give a fuck. Let me check with my number 2.
Kai? KAI? Answer me, dammit.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66234 <--------- sign up info
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:11:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you for your opinion, you fucking retard. Let me say just a couple of things in response to your heartfelt review and opinion..
---
I don't know what the hell you're talking about... 'heartfelt'? I didn't know I made you feel that way. Now for the rest of your crap:
---
1) I couldn't give a rat's ass about Ubermadness - the "whining" as you so eloquently put it makes for "good Uber".
---
Oh boy does it ever.
---
2) Shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot.
---
Why? Apparently I am inspiring you to actually go through with this shit.
---
3) This little homespun contest WILL be more fun than the original, BECAUSE of crybaby attitudes like yours- no one is impressed with your passion, Q
---
The only problem that I have is that I don't understand why everyone is so pissed off that they won't be able to get into UM when only 32/128 people have qualified. As for my 'passion', that must've rubbed off on your scrotum when you fucked your wife after I dropped a load in her, cause it sure isn't in my reply.
When it comes to the actual competition, I am working to make it better. I encourage people who might not have entered to go for it. UberMadness is what the people who are competing make of it, and now that the public vote has a strong influence on who makes it in, even YOU'RE pissant opinion will have a voice in what it will be like.
---
4) You asshole
5) See 4
---
Sorry, that wife comment WAS a little low, even on you.
---
6) We'll have a trophy
---
OOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo. I am sofa king impressed.
---
7) I wish you were in an office down the hall from me right now so i could march down, punch you in the head, and return to MY office.
---
Wait, don't you still work from home? My office is in your bedroom, I thought you knew that. Bring a step ladder and a shovel, you geriatric dwarf.
---
8) Buahahahahahahahahahahahaaha...One of the UberMadness Committee dorks is upset!!!! ShlongyMadness - 2005 is ALREADY "working" and accomplishing its goals.
---
I don't care if you run your own competition. As a matter of fact, I encourage it. These things are fun for everyone. My line is drawn at the point where you sit there and bitch and moan about UM when it doesn't deserve it.
---
9) Did I mention that you're an asshole?
---
yeah, twice.
---
10) The only whining I'm seeing here is YOU, Q. What I'm doing is writing "funny shit". Oh, and bart will "cooperate" on anything that I ask him to, shitforbrains.
---
I'm not whining, midget freddy kruger. I am merely stating some facts about UM that you and your army of pre-pubescent rocket powered retards seem to be ignoring. I never said that bart wouldn't help you, I just said good luck, shitforbreakfastlunchanddinner.
---
Although the last thing I'm really looking for is cooperation. But just for you? I'll get some.
---
Wow, that threat makes so much sense.
---
Dipshit.
---
Only when I take your wife down the old dirt road, 'big' guy.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sign me up, dicknose.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You do Yoga?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks but no thanks, if i want to know what an asshole looks like i'll look at my own.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You think his NAME sucks, you should take a look at his picture!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
way to stick it to percy (what kind of dick suckin name is that?)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haven't bought it yet.
I'm sure it'll be something random like a "Second Best Average - Men's Penal League" bowling trophy, from 1987, Seneca Lanes, Assbump, Idaho.
BUT IT'S STILL A TROPHY!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:02:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
You are the biggest fucking whiner on this site, and iddqd is a user here, so that is saying a lot.
For one thing, the rules haven't even been established for UMIII yet. Secondly, I still fail to see how UM is elitist or unfairly exclusive. Everyone who wants to enter has a fair shot at it, the only restriction we have is time. Everyone could play, but it would take forever, and people would get bored and would complain even more than they would've for not qualifying.
For what it's worth, ShlongyMadness won't be anything more than an "official" collection of the most average shit posts seen daily on teh front page. Good luck getting bart's cooperation on that one.
Thanks for taking out the trash, btw.
Thank you for your opinion, you fucking retard. Let me say just a couple of things in response to your heartfelt review and opinion..
1) I couldn't give a rat's ass about Ubermadness - the "whining" as you so eloquently put it makes for "good Uber".
2) Shut the fuck up, you fucking idiot.
3) This little homespun contest WILL be more fun than the original, BECAUSE of crybaby attitudes like yours- no one is impressed with your passion, Q
4) You asshole
5) See 4
6) We'll have a trophy
7) I wish you were in an office down the hall from me right now so i could march down, punch you in the head, and return to MY office.
8) Buahahahahahahahahahahahaaha...One of the UberMadness Committee dorks is upset!!!! ShlongyMadness - 2005 is ALREADY "working" and accomplishing its goals.
9) Did I mention that you're an asshole?
10) The only whining I'm seeing here is YOU, Q. What I'm doing is writing "funny shit". Oh, and bart will "cooperate" on anything that I ask him to, shitforbrains.
Although the last thing I'm really looking for is cooperation. But just for you? I'll get some.
Dipshit.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:14:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
The only Uber dipshit that I could possibly see that i could be considered an alter of would be Adam because he can be funny and intelligent as fuckall, too.
Three main problems with that theory:
1) I can't do photoshop...nor so I HAVE photoshop on my computer
2) He's a fag
3) I don't believe in posting twice a day- hell, I post once a week - and he has done that many times.
So, I'm not him. Or anyone else.
I'm just Shlongy.
========================
YOU SAID YOU WOULD CALL ME AFTERWARDS!
LIAR!!
Seriously, I might want to get in on this.
Whats the trophy?
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-05-13 11:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are the biggest fucking whiner on this site, and iddqd is a user here, so that is saying a lot.
For one thing, the rules haven't even been established for UMIII yet. Secondly, I still fail to see how UM is elitist or unfairly exclusive. Everyone who wants to enter has a fair shot at it, the only restriction we have is time. Everyone could play, but it would take forever, and people would get bored and would complain even more than they would've for not qualifying.
For what it's worth, ShlongyMadness won't be anything more than an "official" collection of the most average shit posts seen daily on teh front page. Good luck getting bart's cooperation on that one.
Thanks for taking out the trash, btw.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, without question, you have a chance in this.
But berating the Commissioner of the event is certainly no way to go about currying up favor with the judges.
If you're not careful, we'll eliminate your hairy ass so fast that your multiple chins will be spinning....slamming you in the forehead, causing a possible concussion.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Judging by the "rules" that have already been posted, I'm a shoe-in to win.
"No content"
"Shit post"
"Flames and insults"
It's funny how the contest mirrors my posting, but yet YOU... Mr. Chairman Shlongy, have consistantly berrated me for posting that way?
Fucking hypocrite.
I was right all along, admit it old man.... and I shall support your contest 214%
That is all
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kai? Get on bart about that last suggestion. I concur.
Get to it, boy. Chop, chop.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We need bart to give us the ShlongyMaddness icon. I recommend a beer mug or a middle finger.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We don't know what is happening either, so you'll fit right in. But you're signed up for whatever it is. Probably.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read this again and I'm now confused.
I don't know what the fuck is happening, but sign me up.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Slhongy MAdness wOOOT
that's right I apelt your name wrong, dipshit...
(ps- you got your ass kicked in my latest installment, don't worry revenge is sweeter...)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 10:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As Anthony Michael Hall once said...
"I'm kind of like the King of the dipshits".
Wooooooooeeeeeee!
He also said "Not many girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me. "
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's good people
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:59:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And spends 10 large a year on cleanex to blow that enlarged nose of his
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and has no lips
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
even if he does like it in the booty hole
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But fuck them, shlongy is the coolest asshole around.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus the uber elite wouldnt have him.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 fo rUbersite
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-13 00:42:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
S man....The more I browse this site, the more I realize that there is, in fact, an
Uber Elite.(yeah,steep learning curve for me). Some are quite apparent, and others
defacto.
My question to you is: How do I know, You, won't go over to "The Dark Side", and become
one yourself?
In any event.......count me in.
<a nobody>
I can answer that by saying that my popularity will continue to make me extremely unpopular.
On a related note, Yogi Berra turned 80 yesterday.
So it all makes sense.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A "writing tournament" with out rules is like a....
....ummmmmm...it's like a...
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
It'll fucking rock!
Spelling errors? Who cares.
Grammar? What's that?
NSFW? Encouraged, without warnings, even!
Hitwhores? Please.
Shitposts? Probably will win the thing.
Flame wars? Always a crowd pleaser.
Porn? Spank material can't be a bad thing.
No content? Even better!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This "partnership" is a recipe for disaster.
Kai and I don't "get along". I don't like fat guys, as a rule.
But we're willing to make sacrifices so that you, the losers, hitwhores, shitposters and homos of Uber society, can particpate in your own writing contest.
As long as fatso stays on his meds, I think we can be civil enough to each other at least temporarily to get through ShlongyMadness - 2005.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 09:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and spelling errors
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-13 08:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should make it so that in shlongy madness you can post NSFW material.
Submitted by Lets_B_Friends (user info) at 2005-05-13 08:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no worries, pat
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-13 08:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So when's Kai gonna get off your dick?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-13 07:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha shlongy a figurehead haha
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-05-13 07:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you remind me of Al Bundy
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 07:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kai is in charge. I'm now more of a figurehead Commissioner, kind of like Her Majesty, The Queen of England. Only difference is that I have a penis.
Well, actually, the more I ponder, we might not be that different in that respect.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-05-13 02:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll join, even though I hate you (but secretly love you)
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-13 01:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah great. It's getting rather like the real UM though... all this "post writing" and "titles" and "emailing".
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-13 01:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm especially partial to rule #3--if I'm going to enter S&M, we must find a way to implement binge drinking among the contestents. I suggest a minimum of ten drinks.
The 15 line rule also works great, you're right Sofa, who the fuck wants to read anything in a writing competition.
I think it's safe to say FUCK UBERFAGGNESS.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-13 01:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those rules are the shit.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-13 00:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:06:54 (#)
Ranking: 1
Some possible rules:
1. All posts must contain porn (lesbian a plus, but just a single female will sufice. Anyone submitting porn with a guy in it is automatically disqualified. Unless, a commitee [probably consisting of just you Shlongy] decides that said porn will be admittable.)
2. Posts will be no longer than 15 lines. Nobody wants to have to read a bunch of shit in a writing competition.
3. If we can find a way to make sure the contestants are drunk while writing the posts, that would definitaly liven up the competition.
4. No spell checking. Either spell it right the first time, or accept it like it is, pussy.
5. No less than 3 MVA's will be insulted in a post.
6. Plagiarism is A-ok as long as it's not something that's been heard a million fucking times before. Example: if you get the urge to plagiarize an email you got, just kick yourself in the balsl repeatedly until you lose the urge. If you're a female, punch yourself in the tits.
7. Thinking up ingenious ways to kill people is encouraged. Why don't you light an M-80 and shove it up your ass?
8. References to popular rock songs from the 70's -90's is encouraged.
Holy fuck, now I'm seriously considering joining SM. Hey did anyone notice that?
PS The Shlong is balls deep in his wife--make sure you tell her my test came back negative, she shouldn't worry about you busting a nut in her ass.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-13 00:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be around until july 11th so if that works I'm in. If not I'll send it from boot camp.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-13 00:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
S man....The more I browse this site, the more I realize that there is, in fact, an
Uber Elite.(yeah,steep learning curve for me). Some are quite apparent, and others
defacto.
My question to you is: How do I know, You, won't go over to "The Dark Side", and become
one yourself?
In any event.......count me in.
<a nobody>
Submitted by NocternalDragon (user info) at 2005-05-12 23:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-05-08 12:16:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I would enjoy ShlongyMadness a LOT more than UberMadness. But that's just me.
----------------
I too agrea with this completly.
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-05-12 23:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went golfing today and it was fucking excellent. So you get a +2 and I will enter your literary corrivalry.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-12 23:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love rules 5-12
hahaha
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-05-12 23:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, I can honestly say that I am on the edge of my seat waiting on this contest to begin. I mean, who wouldn't rather participate in this?
Doesn't the ability to end sentences in prepositions consistently, earn a birth in ShlongyMadness?
Fuck it. I will play along or applaud wildly from the sidelines. I don't give a fuck.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SHLONGY IS AN OLD LIAR
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy can pick the winners, just ask his huge ass snot locker of a nose; he's an expert.
Okay kids, sign up by sending an e mail to: shlongymadness2005.at.hotmail.com
A few more instructions to follow, including the title of your post.
Do we wanna do it 1:1 battle like in UM, or just declare the winner is the SM post with teh highest possible overall rating at the end of the contest (just to encourage camping & hit/linkwhoring?). the 1:1 thing will be a pain in the ass since bart won't give me a split screen post page to use like in UM.
As soon as an entry is pushed off of the front page, another entry goes up: look up all entries by doing a search for SHLONGYMADNESS, all posts will be named as such & numbered.
hehhehheh.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:31:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i want in, fuckfairy
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh well, you will probably be too busy heading up and organizing the 1st annual international cup for baseball anyway...
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry, I'm taken.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't believe I qualify for your tourney so, much like 1960-61, when the AFL decided to take on the more established, more traditional, the more stodgy, the more conservative, the more homosexual NFL and go "head to head" for the American football fans attention and money, ShlongyMadness will do the same.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
are you competing in UM111?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK...what we'll do is seed people at random...have them square off...amke up some completely ridiculous "Titles"...Say "ready...set...go"...vote on the winner...and sometimes, OVERRIDE the popular winning vote and assign our OWN winner because this is ShlongyMadness and rules don't really apply...and, whoever gets banned by bart first automatically gets placed into the Final Four as a bonus....
How's that for starters?
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck man, whenever you get a boot in the ass, do you always turn around and give it a sniff? Relax, I have no idea who your alters are, if any. Just roll with teh punches.
I, however, just applied for ShlongyMadness2005 ID from bart, we'll see if he goes for it; I don't want this shit on my permanent record. We'll use that ID to post shit.
get it?
Rules:
Don't get banned, but feel free to push your luck
make it fucking funny
stupid shit = forfeit . If I wanna see Goatse or Tub Girl, I'll go to Shlongy's house for dinner.
Less rules is better.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only Uber dipshit that I could possibly see that i could be considered an alter of would be Adam because he can be funny and intelligent as fuckall, too.
Three main problems with that theory:
1) I can't do photoshop...nor so I HAVE photoshop on my computer
2) He's a fag
3) I don't believe in posting twice a day- hell, I post once a week - and he has done that many times.
So, I'm not him. Or anyone else.
I'm just Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kai- Bad news...You could get fired immediately for that faux pas.
I HAVE ZERO ALTERS!!! I swear to christ.
Out of curiousity, who else do you think I am? I'd be curious to know who else you think pulls off this whole " comic genius" facade deal besides Shlongy.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh...this picture is kinda creepy.
It needs more mouth.
But this is for the new 2005 background
you provided, for my laptop, on a
previous post.
Thanks
<a nobody>
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sofa_Ace: What I REALLY like about your rules is that I didn't have to think of any myself.
Your suggestions will be passed along to the Rules Committee for further discussion and probably, further insulting of your name .
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:08:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me take care of sign up on a separate shlongymadness ID. You have too many alters already...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kai- You're now officially in charge of the "Rules Committee".
You have two main tasks, the way I see it.
1) Come up with rules
B) Get me donuts and Diet Vanilla Cokes on command
Are you up to the task?
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Some possible rules:
1. All posts must contain porn (lesbian a plus, but just a single female will sufice. Anyone submitting porn with a guy in it is automatically disqualified. Unless, a commitee [probably consisting of just you Shlongy] decides that said porn will be admittable.)
2. Posts will be no longer than 15 lines. Nobody wants to have to read a bunch of shit in a writing competition.
3. If we can find a way to make sure the contestants are drunk while writing the posts, that would definitaly liven up the competition.
4. No spell checking. Either spell it right the first time, or accept it like it is, pussy.
5. No less than 3 MVA's will be insulted in a post.
6. Plagiarism is A-ok as long as it's not something that's been heard a million fucking times before. Example: if you get the urge to plagiarize an email you got, just kick yourself in the balsl repeatedly until you lose the urge. If you're a female, punch yourself in the tits.
7. Thinking up ingenious ways to kill people is encouraged. Why don't you light an M-80 and shove it up your ass?
8. References to popular rock songs from the 70's -90's is encouraged.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have class, darko.
I don't care what they say abou you.
I don't care what I say about you.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Crack comes in pill form now?
Don't fuck this contest up. This could be really, really funny.
Or just stupid.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
allow me to throw out the first +2.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm take it one step further.
I dislike Ubermadness AND UberSite.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, with these kinds of testimonials, how can this miss?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-05-08 12:16:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I would enjoy ShlongyMadness a LOT more than UberMadness. But that's just me.
Who wouldn't?
Submitted by zxcvvcxz (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I dislike Ubermadness. I'm not sure how I feel about Shlongymadness. Take a +1 til I figure it out.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:02:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did I mentions "trophies" for the winner?
I believe that I did.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Did you not take your medicine yet today, ya fatass fuck? I told you to cut down on the sugar intake.
If it means that much to you, you can be second in command. I'll let you judge something, assuming we have something to actually judge.
Goddammit you're a moody Canuck. Lay off the diet pills for chrissakes.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-12 22:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well that entertained me for fifty three seconds.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-12 21:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck, I invented the phrase AND contest "ShlongyMadness" here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/65900
You alcoholic retard, you've never had an original thought in your entire vomit encrusted stale beer scented excuse for a life you drag yourself through every day. Your brain is officially pickled. I say it should go in a jar, on my desk.
I wonder how many people will get banned once this all hits the fan. Lemme know if you need help, fag.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-12 21:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Allow me to throw out the first -2.