You call your self a Jedi? (745 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.44 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hobbs <esquire.hobbs.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-05-13 16:08:19 EDT
The other day I was playing Star Wars: OutCast (and by playing, I mean, kicking ass).
There was this new guy in the room I was in who was just running around trying to kill people.
From my point of view, this was pointless, especially since he clearly had no skilz (yes, with a 'z') and was not truly one with the force.
I didn't care to much as there is an auto admin, if this n00b kills people more than 3 times while they are chatting or have no weapon up (defenceless) he would be auto kicked form the server (and there is no way he could touch me, me being a Jedi Master n' all).
So, after a while, I was just standing on a roof, quiet high up, looking down at random Jedi fighting and I noticed that the new guy was just standing in the middle of a street.
With that, I took a long run up and jumped off the roof, I was gliding mid-air when he see me, so I done a back flip with a spin to it, he was obviously impressed and just stood there watching.
As I neared the ground I started to take aim.
I had no weapons up so he knew I was not gonna try and kill him, I was getting closer to the ground and closer to him.
As I hit the floor I pulled off a badass army roll just to the left of him at witch point I Force Gripped him by the throat, he pulled out his Saber with the intent of ruining my shit, but alas, I was way to fast, keeping the grip, straight out of the army roll I jumped (using the Force)10-15 foot in the air and slammed him into the ground.
As he hit the ground he lost his connection.
He disappeared.
Gone.
I have't seen him since.
My conclusion...
I delivered such an unbelievably accurate and powerful blow, that I knocked the fucker clean off the internet.
That'll teach the fucker.
-Hobbs
User Reviews
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-06-10 05:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Pock said
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-14 07:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was going to get the biggest minus2 in history coupled with some quite serious beratement. But I laughed when you said you'd knocked him clean off the net, and the picture was so shit I staggered a chuckle, so have your plus2 and lets never speak of this again.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-14 07:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you look like Mike Mills, the bass player from R.E.M
Submitted by tragiksaint (user info) at 2005-05-14 06:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2005-05-13 20:38:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You know, I don't want to sound like a nerd, but Star Wars III is going to be the greatest thing to ever happen to humanity. Fuck the renaissance, fuck creation, fuck the invention of lesbian porn ... Ok, I went too far there. But other than lesbian porn, this is going to be the greatest thing ever. I think I may have just soiled myself.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2005-05-13 18:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just kill yourself.
Submitted by hairjr (user info) at 2005-05-13 18:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"mean jedi i see.. "
Submitted by Lets_B_Friends (user info) at 2005-05-13 17:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you call yourself a heterosexual?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dork alert.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
get a haircut.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rawk.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I have committed the entire Jedi Master's Handbook to memory, and yet, even I cannot manage to give a shit about this post.
Impressive. Most impressive.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Admit that this entire post was a joke and I'll give you a +2.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA PURE PWNAGE!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that always happens
Submitted by Lets_B_Friends (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this one time, at band camp, i saw a girl with no clothes!
Submitted by morbid_obsession (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've never called myself a Jedi, but I called your mom one as I stabbed her with my "light saber."
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dorkfest '05 is officially in progress.
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-1 For stealing from Penny Arcade ( http://penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2005-05-11&res=l )
-1 For claiming to be a Jedi when no true Jedi would have to steal from Penny Arcade
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're that fuckin dude that looks like I did when I was 15.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-13 16:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nerd.